Lucky Puppy!

[pecos.livejournal.com]

I’ve gotten another story from our little canine friend, who’s been cooling his paws in the Caribbean waiting for his Alpha to come home from promoting KOH.

I’d like to dedicate this chapter to thalassatx, because she never hesitates to stop and help a Dog in distress. Thalassa is a one woman Dog Rescue Society, and I tip my hat to her! You rock, sister!



Title: Lost Man!
Series: The Luckiest Dog in the World – 20
Author: Pecos – PecosPhil@sprintmail.com
Website: http://www.chimerafic.com
Rating: PG – some adult language, innuendo
Feedback: remember the golden rule, (please!)
Disclaimer: I don’t make the toys, I’m
only playing with them. No money made,
nor disrespect intended
Who’s in it?: Orlando Bloom, his Dog, his pals...
Note: Please forgive any intentional or
unintentional abuse of facts and history.
Summary: Sidi is Orlando’s dog, and he’s got a
story to tell




Lost Man!


My Alpha Male and I were making Walkies in the Canyon place, which is full of rocks and trees and stuff that hasn’t been moved around by People. You can get off your lead there and Run as fast as you want! There’s also animals there – lots of them! – and other Dogs, and all of them get along Okay with me as long as they don’t make too much Dominance. There aren’t any Little Rat Dogs there, because Little Rat Dogs don’t like to be Outside in the sunshine and rain and do Dog Stuff. That’s why I do Not Approve of those Rat Dogs. I’m a Real Dog, and I do Dog Stuff!

Nobody picks up your shits in the Canyon, so you can smell them from other Dogs and leave some Marks that way, and there’s loads of good trees and bushes and rocks and posts and bumps and other stuff to piss on, so I always need lots of good clean water when we make Walkies there so I can tell Everybody that the Sidi Pack was out on a Nice Day!

So anyway, the day that I’m telling you about I was leading my Alpha, Orlando, up the trail and he was stopping to Talk to People, mostly People who were also making Walkies with their Dog Packs. I would be Polite with these other Dogs, and some of them wanted to Play with me, so sometimes we would do that and Chase and Bark and behave like Real Dogs instead of Inside Dogs. There was a bitch there I’d met before, and she is Curly Hair Smells-of-Carpet Bitch, and she was being submissive and playful and wanted me to chase her, so I did it, cause I’m Nice like that. We ran up and down the hillside, and I would knock her over and she would Play-Yelp, and she would snap at me and run away again, so we were having a Good Time while our People watched us and made talking.

My Alpha said loudly, “No snakes, Sidi!” I’m not supposed to Ever bite on snakes, because the ones in the Canyon are Mean and can Bite you back. Besides, my Alpha seems to like snakes and little running animals and everything. He’s kinda strange like that, but he’s the Alpha, so it’s okay with me! So the animals that I can bite on all have to be pretend animals, like my Toys.

Curly Hair Smells-of-Carpet Bitch was getting tired, and she was laying down in the dust panting, so I play-growled at her, and she was Not Interested any more, so I sniffed around to find somewhere good to Mark this Excellent playing place for future reference. I had to settle for a rock, and I gave it just a little piss because I was running out. I also scratched up the ground with my claws. The sunshine felt so good on my black fur, because it had been doing nothing night and day but raining for a Long Time, and it was finally dry enough outside to make Walkies like this. I heard a sound way down the hill in a low place, and as I Looked Very Hard I could see something moving there. I trotted towards it, and it came into view and it was a Not-Dog with the big tail – the one my Alpha calls Ki-oats!

I was off like a running horse, chasing that Ki-oat! I was going down the hill, so I was even more fast than usual, and I can run Really Fast! But that Ki-oat saw me coming, and those Not-Dogs are Fast too! Curly Hair Smells-of-Carpet Bitch was barking, but she didn’t want to Chase the Ki-oat, so I kept right on running by myself. Maybe my Alpha yelled at me to Stop, because I think he might have, but I couldn’t hear him over the sound of my panting and running and the bitch barking. I’m sorry I didn’t hear him yell. Really. I Always do what my Alpha tells me to do!

Well, almost always.

The Ki-oat was darting through the bushes and going through spaces that seemed to get smaller when I’d follow, and he ran around rocks and up trails I couldn’t see, and I didn’t think I could catch him. But I tried to! He was like water running down something steep, going over and around and through, and never losing his speed. I lost sight of him and came to a stop to Bark! a couple times, to let him know I was not done! Then I saw him far away on a different part of the hill and I was off again, panting very hard and getting tired as the ground went up and up.

I think maybe those Ki-oats are magical, because they can move so fast. Maybe they can go right through the ground and under rocks and stuff, because there’s no way he was that much faster than me. I’m a Desert Running Dog, with my long, long legs, but that Ki-oat knows tricks and stuff! He was yipping with happiness at teasing me, and that made me Mad and I ran even faster! But it was no good in the end. I was never going to catch that Evil Ki-oat! I came to a stop in some shade and crouched down, panting so hard that my tongue got dirt on it. My legs were burning and my chest felt like it was full of hot, sharp stuff.

Perhaps I had been an Inside Dog too much lately, because I was not able to catch the Ki-oat, and it laughed at me from a ridge far away, then it disappeared forever. The next time I see that Ki-oat it is going to be different! I’m going to catch it and I think maybe I’ll just Bite that fluffy tail of his! See if he laughs at Sidi Dog then! My chest got better and I could breath easy again, and then I suddenly realized something Awful – even more Awful than not catching the Ki-oat! I had no idea where my Alpha Male was!

Getting to my feet, I looked all around. I didn’t see Orlando Man anywhere!

My Alpha Male was Lost!

This was the Worst Thing Ever! Worse than getting ‘Bad-Dogged!’ or kicked or have stuff thrown at you!

How was he ever going to find his way down the trail of the canyon without me? My legs were tired, so I went down the hill instead of up, and I had my nose high, sniffing for my Alpha’s scent. He has a wonderful scent: all hard clean cut wood and tangy citrus, smoky Man-sweat and funny cloths, with a whiff of fresh green herbs. His scent is the best of any Man in the world, and I was searching for it with all of my nose and even my heart, which was suddenly heavy and empty. I would have to stop panting to smell properly, but that was hard to do. Maybe I whined a little when all I would smell was old rain, dirty Lost Angeles air and the things of the canyon.

Little Running Critters were darting around, but I ignored them because it was more important that I find my Alpha. The ground was wet down here, but it held no trace of the scent I was trying to find. I turned up another gully, and I could hear the Ki-oat laughing somewhere far above, but I was done chasing him for that day. There were some big rocks I had to climb over, and my nails slipped on the loose stones at the top. There was a big snake up there in the sun, and it made a weird noise with the end of its tail when I passed by close. But I wasn’t going to investigate that just then because I was Looking for Orlando.

The gully ended in steep walls, so I went over the ridge and kept looking. I finally went uphill, and then I found one of the trails we sometimes walk along on. I ran down that trail as fast as I could, and I saw a Running Woman coming up. She said “Hi Sidi!” as I went past, but she wasn’t a Good Friend of our Pack, so I kept running. She would have just wanted to pet me and admire my Pack, but my Pack wasn’t with me! I was all Alone!

There was a wide place in the trail and I stopped to sniff around, hoping to find my Alpha’s scent. There was nothing...this wasn’t the trail we had been going on! If we had been sometime there before our scent was gone because of all the water from the sky. I managed to make a small piss Mark in case my Alpha came by looking for me. I know he needed me to find him so I could lead him out of the Canyon place!

Why did I chase that Stupid Ki-oat? What if my Alpha was worried about missing me? What about the Squeee Girls and Pupper-Nazis who chase my Person? What if he got so lost that he fell off a rock or got attacked by Bad Dogs!?! I wouldn’t be there with him to Defend him! While I was busy Worrying about this stuff I stepped on something sharp that went into my paw. I yelped and picked up my foot, it was my pick up to piss foot, but the sharp thing wasn’t where I could bite at it. It was up between my toes, and my teeth couldn’t reach.

This was turning out to be not such a good day after all.

I kept going down the trail, and the thing in my paw made my whole leg hurt a little, and it felt kinda wobbly. I had to stop to rest a couple of times, and I was panting. There was a puddle where I got a little bit of water, but there was dirt and stuff in it. I like my water to be nice and clean. This is what I’ve gotten used to since my Alpha picked me up in the Very Far Away place, back when I was just a Puppy and People were sometimes mean to me and there was never enough to eat. Thinking about those days made me shudder, and I started to run again, knowing that my Alpha was probably not only Lost, but Scared without me!

I got to a place where the People put their Cars so they can make the Walkies in the Canyon, and just past there is a road with Lots of Cars going Very Fast. My Alpha has told me not to go there every single time he lets me off my lead, and I remembered that, and I didn’t go where the Cars are moving because I’m sure he wasn’t there either. That road was not a good place for Dogs or People with all the driving Cars! I went around all of the still Cars Looking, but I couldn’t remember which one was my Alpha’s Car, because I’m not supposed to piss on the tires anymore. There was an Incident about that with the Nice-Smell Lady who used to be the Bitch of our Pack, and now there’s a Rule about Pissing on Cars.

So all the Cars smelled pretty much the same, and I was whining because I couldn’t find my Orlando. I’d found the Cars, but my Person was still Lost!

I sat down in some shade and tried to think about what to do next. Should I go and find our Den? We were living at the Shat-oh, but I didn’t walk from there to where I was now, and I was a little bit worried that even though I could probably find it again my Alpha might not. While I was deciding a Lady drove up in her Car and got out, and she saw me and came over. “Hello Puppy!” she said in a soft voice. I am not a Puppy any more, as you can see if you look at pictures of me. But I didn’t mind too much that she called me that. I got to my feet in case I had to Run Away suddenly, but her body motion said that she was being Friendly and she held out her hand to make greeting. I let her pat me on the head.

This Nice Lady bent down and petted me some more until I was less ready to Run Away, and then she took hold of my Collar, which I’m very picky about. Not just anybody gets to pull me around by my Collar. I tugged, but she had a good grip on it. She picked at my jiggle tags and then said my name, “Sidi?”, so I guess she was another one of those People who know my name even though I’ve never met them. The Nice Lady pulled me gently to her Car, and then got a rope thing that she tied to my Collar. I didn’t fuss much about this because it seemed like a better idea to wait and see what she wanted than it was to Run Away, especially because of the hot sun in the sky and me being a hot and tired black Dog.

She made talk to her own Noisy Box – I guess everyone in Lost Angeles has one of those things. And then she sat down next to me and I let her pet me a little more. We waited for a while, maybe it was a long time. I was busy Worrying about my Lost Man, and then I heard a sound from up the hill. It was my Alpha Male yelling my name!

I jumped up and Barked! and Barked! and tried to pull away from the rope thing. I jerked backwards and my Collar came off over my head, pulling painfully on my ears, and then I was Free! I Ran up that trail to where I could see my Alpha running towards me! I jumped so high when I got to him, and landed in his arms!

“Sidi, Sidi!” He said, and his voice was very rough and his arms were too tight, but I didn’t mind. He put me down at last, and then he said the Awful thing!

“Bad Dog!”

He said other things, but I was so ashamed of making him Mad at me that I was on the ground, totally Submissive and Very Sorry! I even rolled over and showed him my belly in case he had to Punish me, which he usually hardly ever has to do. This was Very Bad! And then he was on his knees in the dirt and he scooped me into his arms and made the water from his eyes that means he’s Sorry too! Me held me even tighter, and he said that I was his Good Boy, and that he Loves Me!

Of course he loves me! He’s my Alpha Male! Nobody loves me as much as my Alpha Male! And nobody loves him as much as I do!

He smelled of dirt and sweat and Fear, which was not a good thing. I think maybe he had fallen down, because he was very dusty. The Nice Lady from before came over with my Collar, and Orlando put it back where it belongs around my neck, and I was very glad to have it on. This is my special Collar and it means that I am Orlando’s Dog and I am in his Pack!

My Alpha talked to the Lady and he hugged her and then marked on paper for her and hugged her again, and then we went to where our Car was. I don’t know how my Alpha found the Car when I couldn’t, but as soon as I jumped inside I knew it was Ours. He poured some water into his hands and I drank it, so glad, and the dirt finally came out of my mouth. And after the water was gone I kept licking his hands and then his face and he didn’t mind at all!

My Alpha Drove the Car back to the City and to the Shat-oh, and when we got to the grounds there he took me straight to the Water Pool place and the girls there got me a big bowl filled with nice clean water, and I drank and drank! While I was drinking I heard someone coming toward us and I looked up just as my Second Alpha Viggo arrived, and he was saying “I can’t leave you two for a minute, can I?”

Orlando grabbed Viggo in a big grab, and started to nuzzle his face. But then he remembered that he was at the Pool place and there were Outsider People everywhere. The three of us went to our Den, with a very tired Sidi dancing Happy Dog! all around my People because I was so Glad to see our Pack together again!

“You get cleaned up,” Viggo said to my Alpha after they had been nuzzling for a little while. “I’ll take care of Sport here.” And then he took me outside and there was a hose at the place where the Guys Who Do Stuff to the Grass hang out. Viggo got the hose, and I knew that this meant Bath!, but I didn’t need to get “Bad Dogged!” twice in one day, so I was quiet as he got me wet. It felt pretty Good, actually.

He used the same smelly stuff that my Alpha uses on his hair, so that’s Okay. I don’t mind smelling like my Alpha! That’s why I like to sleep on his clothes! Viggo made me all sticky with the soap stuff, and then rinsed me off, getting water everywhere, even under my tail and into personal places. It was cool and wet and I got to drink as much as I wanted from the hose. He was rubbing my foot when the sharp thing between my toes got touched and I yelped. I almost nipped at him, which would have been worse than getting my Alpha Lost!

I whined Sorry to Viggo, and he told me to lie down, and then he held my foot very tight in his big hands and spread my toes, looking through the hairs there. He pulled on something that hurt for a moment, and then the pain was Gone! Viggo had done another one of his Miracles! He’s so Good at that sort of thing! He washed water over my foot, and then I got rubbed all over with a cloth and we laid in the sun for a while, and my coat got hot again from the bright sky. I was glad that it wasn’t raining, or I wouldn’t ever get dry! One of the Guys Who Do Stuff to the Grass came over with a Treat, and Viggo let me have it! That was my first Treat all day, and it probably meant that I wasn’t in Trouble anymore for the Losing Orlando thing.

We went inside our Den and my Alpha was sitting alone in the quiet room, looking at something and being quiet. Viggo got something that smelled like *Vet* Stuff, and rubbed it on the sore spot between my toes, and then he petted me on the head and went to sit with my Alpha.

“Get your stuff,” Viggo said after a while. “Get your stuff, you two are coming with me.”

No more living at the Shat-oh Marmot! We were going back to Viggo’s Den! So the day turned out to be Really Good after all!