NEW: Always Darkest 6/30 (Viggo/Elijah, some Astin/Elijah) [NC-17]

[saklani2.livejournal.com]

Title: Always Darkest
Author: Saklani (saklani@wildmail.com) and Wushu
Codes: Viggo/Elijah, some Astin/Lij RPS
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own these men, or anything else I mention here. I am not looking to make money from this... God forbid. And I am NOT them nor is what I put down here real. Thank you.
Summary: Elijah and Sean Astin share one night and then must deal with the consequences.
Author's Notes: This is one of a multitude of long, complex fictions that Wushu and I have been writing together. Basically, this is unbetaed as neither of us have time to beta this one and our regular beta readers want to kill us. We have four other fictions with them, so this one has to go out raw. We apologize for any errors, of which there are probably quite a few. Please ignore them!



Elijah let out a long heartfelt sigh, "That sounds like... like heaven, nothing to do for a while." And he smiled, a huge smile directed at Viggo, "Time to heal."

The smile echoed back at Elijah without any conscious thought. "Whatever you need, Doodle. Anything. Just ask."

"Thank you Viggo. That means so much to me. I... I hope some day, if you need, I can be here this way for you. Although I hope you are never in this kind of state to need it... if that makes sense?"

"I think I had my last bout with being lovelorn," Viggo said with a rueful smile. "I'm getting to the age where there shall have to be an acceptance that I will be a crusty bastard... I mean bachelor, the rest of my life."

"I doubt it... you are a very attracted, intelligent, talented... all around wonderful guy, I... I think there will be people beating a path to your door if there isn't already."

A little snort escaped Viggo before he could stop it from emerging. "You're going to make me blush, Doodle. Seriously, there is no line. I was very amazed when Orlando decided to go out with me. Even more so when we acutely fell in love."

"I really think that you are underestimating yourself Vig. I mean what I said... you'll see." He smiled a little before asking, "Do you have bacon?"

"Only a little on my ass... I'm trying to work it off," Viggo said with utmost seriousness.

Elijah looked more than a little confused as he tried to work out what on earth Viggo meant. "Huh?"

With a grin at the ridiculous expression on Elijah's face, Viggo said, "I don't know, Doodle. I haven't been here since retakes, so I do not know how we are stocked. I can always drive in to town and get some. We need to get supplies for a few weeks anyway."/

Elijah stuck his tongue out at Viggo for the grin before he suddenly jumped up, grabbing Viggo's hand and starting to attempt to drag the larger man from the bed, "Come on!!! I want to see if there is bacon!"

"Ah, Doodle!" Viggo protested as half the covers fell off with him. He still followed after the younger man, finally turning the table and rushing forward himself. His right arm wrapped around Elijah's waist, and he pulled the younger man under his arm and raced for the kitchen.

Elijah squealed as he was picked up off his feet and started struggling, "VIGGO!!! LET ME DOWN!!!!" He wriggled and squirmed trying to get free, "I can walk you know!!! VIGGO!!!"

Devilish by nature, Viggo swept them out the front door and ran for the horse trough. His grin widened as he dangled the struggling Elijah over the cold water. "You are mine, hobbit!"

"Don't you fucking dare!!!!" Elijah glared up at Viggo, "Don't you even bloody THINK about it Viggo Peter Mortensen or you'll regret it you will!!!"

Both eyebrows crawled up to Viggo's hairline, as he held the now glaring man. His mouth twitched several times, as he tried to decide if he should just let go or not.

Elijah's glare grew even hotter, and his voice dropped in volume, but somehow ended up sounding angrier, "I mean it. Don't you fucking dare!!!"

Deciding Elijah would not see the funny side of this, as Dom or even Orlando might, Viggo set him down by the trough. He climbed over the fence, hopping down and calling to the paint stallion who eyed them. TJ trotted right up, snuffling at Viggo expectantly for carrots. When he received pets and murmurs instead, he twitched his tail, but did not move away.

Elijah got to his feet and walked over to the fence, watching Viggo for several long moments before asking soft as to not startle the horse, all of his anger gone, "Are you going to introduce us?"

"Ah. TJ, meet Elijah, who is not to be trifled with. Elijah, meet TJ, a stunt horse of extraordinary stubbornness." He stepped to one side to let the two meet. TJ bunted Elijah with his head and snuffled at his hands, still looking for treats.

Elijah stroked TJ's soft nose and smiled, "I'm sorry, I don't have anything for you... but we'll bring something down latter, can't we?" He looked over at Viggo questioningly.

"If we don't, he'll never let you ride him," Viggo said with an affectionate pat on TJ's side. "He's a good boy, but a bit spoiled. Reminds me of a few hobbits I know."

"You know... normally I'd say I resemble that remark, or something like that, but I'm not going to say that you need to give me treats before I let you ride me. I won't!" Elijah grinned up at Viggo, "And you can't make me!!"

These sentences floated around Viggo's brain for a moment until they made sense. "So, if I want to ride you, I just need to ask?" he said with a lazy and wicked grin of his own.

"You're welcome to ask Vig... I always have the right of refusal!" And he turned back to TJ, petting him and speaking to the horse softly.

"Hmm," Viggo hummed in the back of his throat. He decided he best get off this topic and walked over to scoops some grain into TJ's food, mixing it with sweet grass. Leaning against the fence for a moment, he decided not broaching these subjects would be the wisest idea. "Come on, I'll see if I can find you some bacon."

Elijah eyed Viggo, but refrained from commenting about the bacon and Viggo's ass, "Sounds like a plan." Cocking his head to the side he asked, "Should you feed Urias too? Before we go in?"

"I can," Viggo said. He headed for an adjoining pasture, where a bay stallion cropped lazily at the grass. He leaned on the fence, watching the horse munch. "He doesn't like to be bothered when he's grazing." A few scoops of grain and grass were added to his feed and then Viggo headed back for the house, looking contented with his world.

"Well then, I shall not bother him until after he's finished." Elijah slipped his hand into Viggo's and smiled, asking suddenly, "Do you think we could do some riding while I'm here?"

The small hand made Viggo jump a little. He smiled at his own silliness and let his fingers wrap familiarly around Elijah's. "No sense owning horses and not riding them. Did you learn how to saddle and bridle and groom a mount?"

"Groom? Yes... saddle and bridle umm... well no... For... for some reason... well...' Elijah looked embarrassed before confessing, "When ever I asked they said that Hobbits were too short and wouldn't be able to lift the saddles anyway." He frowned a little, fingers tightening around Viggo's a bit, "That really annoyed me."

"You should have bitten off their knees," Viggo agreed. "Show them the meaning of being short! I'll be glad to teach you, though. I know you did not ride in the movie and not much with me, but did you do much riding otherwise?"

"I did ride!!! I got to ride back into the shire." He grinned, "I did do some riding the rest of the time... um... I went riding with Daisy a few times..." Elijah's smile was very fond, "I'm not an expert or anything, but I can stay one.'

"Canter? Trot?" Viggo asked, his smile warming up with Elijah's. He could picture him on a horse, laughing and running away.

"I've even galloped... not so good when the horse jumps things... I almost fell off... they didn't let me do that again." He giggled, bumping his shoulder against Viggo's upper arm.

"I can teach you all of those things," Viggo said, getting more and more excited about the idea. "We can even do some bareback riding together!" He stopped, thinking over the way that sounded. "With Urias!" Nope, that sounded worse.

Elijah looked at Viggo, his eyes wide and asked, "Do you have any idea how twistedly sexual that sounded?" And he started laughing, hard enough that he was leaning against Viggo for balance.

A wide, goofy grin split Viggo's face. "Sexual? What's that? I never indulge in such grotesque actions."

Elijah laughed even harder, "Th-th-that-t-ts n-n-n-not-t-t... what-t-t... I've..." He took a deep breath to get the last word out, "Heard!" and he was off laughing again.

Using all of his acting skill, Viggo managed a deeply offended look. "I beg your pardon? Just what have you heard?"

When his laugher had calmed down just enough to speak Elijah replied, "That you're... well that you have a great deal of skill, we all know about your tongue and ... well that you can keep it up all night." and he waited for Viggo's reaction, holding his breath.

A very slight blush tinted Viggo's cheeks as he thought about the numerous times he teased Orlando for hours. The boy used some very graphic and obscene language during those bouts of sex, and he wondered just how much he detailed to his hobbit friends later. "Yoga."

Elijah giggles before saying, "Orli once told me..." and he did his very best Orli impersonation, drunk Orli impersonation at that, ""E can fucking keep it up for fuckin' HOURS man!!! 'N' I always gotta ride the next day. Worth it though."

Viggo seemed to look everywhere but at Elijah, his blood all rushing toward his head in a rather embarrassing flush. He knew Orlando got mouthy when he drank, but he did not realize the man blathered about their personal lives in quite that manner. "It may be true," he hedged finally.

"It's ok Vig... it was just him and me... I dragged him home when he got too drunk..." Elijah smiled a little, "You know... for all that he's a two pot screamer, he was really careful about not blabbing when anyone else was there."

"Oh just to you," Viggo said weakly. "So, did he tell you about the bizarre positions, too?"

"I don't know if it was alll... but he told me a lot." Elijah sighed, "To be honest I was really jealous... you ... fuck he just glowed when he talked about you Vig... I... I'd kill for someone who made me half that happy."

"Why? It wasn't happy enough," Viggo said in his softest tone, the one that made people shiver.

"Oh Vig." Elijah lay his hand on Viggo's shoulder, rubbing lightly, as Viggo had been for him over the last few days, "I don't know if this helps or not, but never, ever doubt that you made him the happiest he's ever been. Perhaps the happiest he will ever be. With all his fame, and all that is still to come, you are going to be the thing that haunts him for the rest of his life." Elijah sighs softly before continuing, "And I would give just about anything to have that with someone, I... I really would. Maybe it's tarnished beyond repair in your eyes Viggo, but... that you had that happiness, I envy you both. More than I can explain."

"Its not tarnished," Viggo said with a sad smile. "I understand how you can make somebody happier than they ever have been and still not be enough for them. I let him go, didn't I? I knew what he needed what more than love and more than the kind of life I could offer him. He wanted fame that being gay doesn't allow." He took Elijah's hand in his own, melding their fingers. "On the other hand, you want what he discarded- love and somebody to settle down with. And I think you'll find what you want, Elijah, if only you keep searching."

"Maybe... but I won't find it until I get Sean outta my system." He lifted their hands to his cheek, rubbing the back of Viggo's hand against the pale skin there, "And that's proving harder than I had feared."

"It hasn't been that long, Elijah," Viggo said. "Oh, maybe you have loved him and wished he would leave your mind for a long time, but once you... made your decision, I'm afraid you prolonged rather than shortened the waiting period."

Elijah sighed again and didn't answer, just starting walking again, going into the house and heading for the kitchen as he wondered how true Viggo's words were, "I don't know." He sighs once more, finally looking up at Viggo, "I don't know what I've done. I just know I can't any more."

"And that's a start in and of itself," Viggo said, pulling some bacon out of the freezer. "Scary frozen bacon..." He started to prepare to cook it up anyway, hoping Elijah did not mind. "I started to recover once I decided that Orlando was not returning and I needed to stop pining for him."

Elijah moved around Viggo, getting plates, making toasts and hot chocolate for them to have with their breakfast, getting anything Viggo needed, familiar with Viggo's kitchen. "I understand that, I guess." He sighed, "I guess I've always known that there was no chance, maybe that made it harder."

"Time is the best healer," Viggo said. "Its nice to have a pair of strong arms to hold on to you as well. Bean will never reveal this on his own, but he cuddled me when I used to break down. A man's man, but with a heart as big as the ocean he flew over."

Elijah snickered before saying, "Beanie and I never got to the man snuggling stage... but he's a good guy... and I bet he gives really good hugs."

"He does. I have no idea why anyone ever divorced him." He shook his head, frying up the bacon for Elijah. His own breakfast tastes ran more to lighter fare. "So, want to go shopping with me today? Its thirty miles to the nearest store so make out a long list."

"I think I have an idea... but he's a great friend.' Elijah came up behind Viggo, laying his cheek against Viggo's back and wrapping his arms around Viggo, something Orli used to do a lot, although the elf always rested his chin on Viggo's shoulder, being taller. "We shall go shopping, I shall make a list as long as your arm..." He thought for a moment before asking, "Vig? Do you have a PS2?"

The cuddle made Viggo smile in remembrance and also contentment with the current situation. "You know I don't, Doodle. I never play video games."

"Not even for Henry hen?" Elijah's voice was light and teasing.

"He takes his with him when he moves about," Viggo said with a slight sigh at his son. "Damn thing reminds me of a dog, following him everywhere. But he never could convince me to play."

Elijah laughed softly, rubbing his cheek against Viggo's back, "Maybe..." And he stopped, changing the subject, "I'll have a few things to get, I planed on going home after this."

"We can get whatever you want... that they actually sell. There's a store where we are going, but its still the middle of ultamatoolie," Viggo warned.

"Middle of the ultamatoolie?" Elijah was completely baffled.

"Nowhere," Viggo clarified with a smirk. "I can see I am dating myself with these expressions."

"Haven't you ever heard of the internet and FedEx? You can get anything anywhere, if you are willing to pay for it." Elijah grinned and helped Viggo dish up the perfectly cooked bacon. "Lets eat!"

"Internet?" Viggo asked. "What's that?" He crunched into veggie bacon with a grin. "Not bad for fake."

Elijah looked down at the piece of bacon he was about to put into his mouth, hand now dead still and considered for several long minuets before he finally took a slow, unsure bite.

Gobbling up three more without pause, Viggo beamed at Elijah. "Well, what do you think of veggie bacon?"

"It's... different?" He took another bite and sighed, "It's not quite the same, but it's ok..."

"I know, I'm sorry," Viggo said with a slight frown. "You're just lucky I had anything vaguely resembling bacon in the house. The ranch hands don't exactly stock up the fridge when I am not here."

"So we will stock up this afternoon, and I will cook you an amazing dinner, and make chocolate mousse for desert... what you think?" Elijah picked up his toast, made a sandwich with his bacon and ate it.

"I think you have a deal," Viggo said. "Better hurry with that list, though. Its all ready afternoon, and we have a ways to go. I need to talk to my foreman... let him know we're here now."

"You have a Forman?" Elijah laughed at the idea before quickly polishing off his sandwich. He then got up and started clearing the dishes from the table into the sink.

"Why is that funny?" Viggo demanded with a slight scowl that never lasted against Elijah. "I need someone to watch after my horses while I go off gallivanting with elves and hobbits and what not."

"I don't know...' Elijah smiled up at Viggo, "It makes sense when you think about it... but it just struck me as funny..."

"I'm just an old cowhand," Viggo sing-songed with a grin. "Its nice to be able to live somewhere that still has foreman's and cattle and stuff..."

Elijah just grinned for a few more moments before saying, "Um... I need to shower and dress... I'll be... twenty minuets? I can write the list in the car, you said it's quite a drive..."

"That's plenty of time," Viggo said with a nod. "I'll make sure everything here has been good and meet you at the car in twenty. Feel free to grab some towels from the laundry room if you need."

"Cool." Elijah pressed a kiss to Viggo's cheek and he left the kitchen.

*************************

Elijah looked around the kitchen, every surface, including the floor, "Do you think we got enough?" Elijah looked over at Viggo who was standing at the door, searching for places to put his feet down to come into the room.

"We might as well have bought the store," Viggo groaned, thumping down the last bag in the absolute last inch of space. "Are you planning on hibernating here, Elijah?"

Elijah looked at Viggo in surprise, "Didn't you realize that?" Starting with the bag closest to him Elijah began to put things away.

"Well, I figured we might go out a little more often." Viggo said, stepping over one bag and then another to stuff some chicken in the fridge.

'We might... But who wants to shop more than they have to?" Working quickly Elijah managed to clear the area around the fridge and main pantry, "This is better..."

"Well, around here, it gives you an excuse to do something," Viggo said. "You go into town, shop, talk to the local gossips and find out whose cattle have been doing what to whose.... you know, the whole socialize thing. Only redneck style."

Elijah looked at Viggo wondering for several moments if he had really heard what he thought he had just heard. When he realized he had Elijah couldn't restrain his loud, and very amused laughter!

The shared laughter made Viggo warm all over, as he joined in willingly. Finally, they both calmed, and Viggo took some carrots from out of the fridge. "Want to go make friends with a horse? Who do you want to ride?"

"Did we put everything away all ready?" Elijah looked around.

"There is still about fifty pounds of dry good, not to mention that ungodly gaming device you managed to sweet talk away from the teenagers. What did you offer them? Blood?" He waved the carrots tantalizingly, wanting to get a bit more time outside.

"Autographs." Elijah grinned and took the carrots, "Lets go say hi to Brego!" Elijah grinned, having quite liked Viggo's horse on set, "And TJ."

"Urias, Doodle," Viggo reminds him. "He still gets confused when I call him Brego."

"Why?" Elijah wriggled a carrot at Viggo questioningly, "I thought he was clever?"

"He is," Viggo said with a bit of affront. "Its just that Brego is not his name. Its like I was calling you Frodo your entire life."

"Viggo my good friend, I will get called Frodo forever and five fucking days." He grinned rather insanely, "I'm used to the idea."

"Not by me," Viggo said seriously. "You're so much more than a hobbit." He shrugged a little and then smiled again. "Come on then, let's go feed the animals."

Elijah's smile became a little shy before he took Viggo's hand and headed out with him towards the paddock where they had seen the horses earlier. "I thought we were just giving them treats..."

"We are." He whistled at the paint stallion, who trots over to them with an expectant expression. Viggo's voice changed to something soft and almost reverent as he speaks to TJ. "Hello, friend. Are you happy to see me back?" He patted a strong neck. "Or do you just love me for the treats?"

"He seems rather friendly..." Elijah breaks off a piece of the carrot he'd put into his pocket, holding it out with a flat hand to the horse, petting TJ's neck as the carrot was eaten, "Or is he really just after the treats and then turns into a beast?"

"He's very stubborn and smart, but he's a good horse," Viggo said, watching Elijah with a fond smile. "He can be a bit of a handful when you ride him, but I preferred him to some of the other more glitzy horses."

"What makes a horse glitzy?" Elijah looked at Viggo questioningly, it wasn't exactly how he ever imagined describing a horse.

"What makes a person glitzy?" Viggo asked. "Where is the difference between me and Orlando? What makes him crave the spotlight, while I shun it?"

"I have no idea to be honest... ' Elijah nibbled his lip as his hand stroked up to scratch around TJ's ears, then to stroke his neck again, "I like how strong they feel."

"Neither do I, but its the same in a horse. And I can tell with them. TJ loves the things I do- running around, being free, the wind and the feel of the earth." Viggo smiled, a secretive little half-twist of his mouth.

Not looking at Viggo Elijah asked suddenly, "Please tell me that I will find someone who... who makes me feel as much as Sean does? Tell me that I... I will get to feel all that passion, that love again, and feel it returned without complications. Please Viggo?"

TJ snuffled and rubbed at Elijah's hands where they still rested on his head. Viggo stared into the distance and wondered at his response- reassurance or truth? "You're very easy to love, Elijah," he said finally with all his quiet conviction. "I cannot imagine that you will pass through life without finding someone who wants to share it with you as much as you want to share it with him."

Elijah started moving his hands again, stroking TJ as he listened to Viggo's words, "I... I hope so Viggo. I... I don't want to be alone forever."

"You won't be," Viggo said. "You're not alone now, Doodle."

Elijah smiled, looking at Viggo, "I know Vig, and I can't tell you how much being here with you helps, I really can't." He looked back at TJ who had snorted impatiently when his hand had stilled and started petting the horse again, "But I can't stay here forever, you're going to want your world back to normal some time..."

"Normal?" Viggo said with a deep laugh. "I gave up on normal when I decided to accept the role of Aragorn in the movies, Elijah. I'll never know what normal is again." He fondly tugged on a bit of TJ's mane and then headed for Urias' corral. "And you'll never be a burden, Doodle. This house is open to everyone, so long as they want to be here."

"Well normal for you I guess Vig." sighing Elijah fed TJ the rest of the carrot before petting him one last time before following Viggo.

"Don't worry about me," Viggo said. "I like to think I am of some worth to you when you need somebody. Its not a hardship." He took a carrot from Elijah and fed it to the taller Urias, who crunched it all down.

"You are more than some help Vig..." Elijah came up behind Viggo and reached out to pet Urais over Viggo's shoulder, "Hello old friend."

Urias whickered at Elijah and reached out for more carrots. "Watch out for him, Doodle. He's a carrot thief."

"Seeing as we brought the carrots for them... in fact.... we even bought them for the horses... how can that be theft?" Elijah fed Urais another carrot, "How have you be Urry? Is Vig taking good care of you mate?"

Urias tried to eat the entire carrot at once, dropping bits all over the ground. "Reminds me of Henry as a baby... or Orlando after a few too many," Viggo said. He tugged on the carrot's green leafy end, grinning when Urias tugged back. "Or Dom after a really hard day."

Elijah snickered, "Viggo my friend... for Orli, three is three too many... two drinks and he's anyone's." And he giggled, leaning against Viggo comfortably, "He seems... perkier than on set."

"He's not being asked to wake up early in the morning and haul around men dressed is silly costumes... of course he's perkier," Viggo said. "So do you want to ride him or TJ?"

Elijah laughed softly, leaning even more against Viggo, enjoying the close contact, finding it soothing in a way he still couldn't describe, "Do you recommend either of them for me, over the other?"

"TJ's a bit less intimidating as rides go, but I think you might like Urias' speed. Also, TJ tends to like to try and take the bit from you if he can. Urias is easier to guide with your hands as opposed to your body, as a newer rider, that's important." Viggo stopped, aware he sounded a bit overbearing.

Elijah giggled a little but nodded, "So Urias it is!" And then he asked, "Now?"

Glancing at the fading sun, Viggo shook his head. "Tomorrow. We can ride out to the hills and look out over the vast nothingness. Make a whole day out of it- picnic and everything."/

"Sounds heavenly Vig..." And he smiled, a truly happy smile, although no one could see it right then.

"Good then its agreed. Course, I will let you sleep in a bit, seeing as how you'll pass out on horseback if I don't," Viggo teased.

"I would not!! I'll have you know I got up for YEARS before DAWN!" He then giggled, "Are you well know!" And he growled, snapping his teeth together near Viggo's ear, "Bad Viggo."

Moving with the neat quickness of Aragorn, Viggo grabbed Elijah by the waist and blew a wet raspberry just under his ear. "Bad am I?"

Elijah laughed and snuggled into Viggo's chest happily, "Yep, it's part of your charm." And he sighed before whispering, "Thank you."

His teasing mood instantly changed to gentle care, and Viggo hugged Elijah back with all the friendship in him. "Anytime, Doodle. Now, let's go put away the rest of the groceries, and I will make some dinner."

Wrapping an arm around Viggo's waist Elijah petted Urais a few more times before giving him the last carrot, "Sounds like a plan."

"Good. Cone on, Doodle." He wrapped his arm firmly over Elijah's shoulders and steered him toward the house.

Walking up to the house and then to the kitchen Elijah helped put the rest of the shopping away before asking suddenly, "Wasn't I going to cook dinner tonight?" He looked questioningly at Viggo, "I think I offered... If you want to I don't mind... but I offered, so if you don't want to, I will."

"I will not stand in the way of a hobbit wanting to fix a meal," Viggo said. He stuffed a last box of cookies into the cupboard, shutting the door before the entire uneasy balance fell on his head. "And I would be delighted to take it easy while you cooked for me. Very domestic. A hobbit for a wife."

"Husband! House husband maybe, but husband none the less Viggo... and don't you forget it Mister Man." Smiling at Viggo Elijah starts taking things out of the cupboards that they had just finished putting in. "Shouldn't you call Henry? Let him know you're home?"

"Now you sound like my mother." His steel eyes rolled a little at Elijah and then up to the ceiling.

Elijah threw an onion at Viggo, "Don't insult your mother!!!" And he giggled, turning back to the kitchen and considering the things he'd laid out.

Viggo hopped up on the counter, watching the onion sail by into the living room. "Nice shot," he said idly. "Do you need any help, or would I just be in the way?"

Elijah looked at Viggo, "Um... I'm not really sure what I'm making yet... so I guess you'd be in the way... but company is always nice..." He smiled at Viggo before going back to the fridge and pulling out some chicken breast, "I know..." And he started moving around much more purposely.

"I'll just sit here then and make comments about your cooking." He grabbed a banana and held it up to his mouth like a microphone. "Talented actor, Elijah Jordan Wood, defies the stereotypes of a spoiled rich child actor, who throws tantrums and takes drugs. Indeed, this young man not only maintains a healthy and happy lifestyle, he even performs domestic duties. Watch now as he whips up an entire meal for his aged friend and fellow LOTR actor, Viggo Mortensen."

"Viggo, if you don't stop, I'm going to jam that banana down your throat until you can't breath, do you understand me?"

"Ooh, violent urges," Viggo said, waggling the banana at Elijah. "Besides, why should I?"

"Because I don't like being made fun of." Elijah sighed, and started wrapping the chicken breast in bacon, placing them on a baking tray.

"Aww, Doodle," Viggo said with a sad little sigh. He tossed the banana into the bowl. "You know I'm not really mocking you, don't you?"

"I know... really I do... just... I'm totally overly sensitive at the moment... Cringe factor is high..." He shrugged a little.

"All right, no more teasing then." He fell silent, thinking of the constant wordplay between himself and Orlando, who always demanded he stop between giggles.

"I'm sorry Viggo." Elijah didn't look at his friend as he spoke, staring down instead at the chicken he had prepared, then checking the temp of the oven before putting them in. He then started on the vegetables, still not looking at Viggo.

"Its all right," Viggo replied, though his mind remained on the past.

Elijah worked in silence for a while, preparing the vegetables to go with their meal, only when he was done did he walk over to Viggo and wrap his arms around him, sighing sadly.

Wrapping his arms around Elijah, Viggo hugged back tightly. "Its I who should be sorry, Elijah. I did not mean to make you unhappy again."

"You didn't... I did." Elijah sighed and tried to explain, "I... I have no control of my emotions... they change so rapidly... one moment this, one moment the total opposite. It's a little maddening."

"I know. It will get better, Elijah. The pain... well, its a good thing." He jumped down from the counter and hugged Elijah close again. "It means you're healing."

"I've been in pain for a long time Viggo... it didn't seem to indicate that before." He lay his cheek on Viggo's shoulder, "We have about 30 minuets..."

"You never really tried to let go before," Viggo said in his best Aragorn voice. "If you are to be free of this pain, you must really be ready to let go on your love."

"I don't know how to do that Viggo... I... I feel like I'm groping in the dark for something... something that's not even... in this universe. Groping in the dark for something my hands can't even touch." He sighed again, "That's maddening too."

"What are you groping for?" Viggo asked, resting his chin in Elijah's hair.

"A way to let go."

"Something else to love?" Viggo asked. A part of his mind said, so quietly, he barely even heard. "Me?"

"Somehow I don't think going from loving Sean, to loving someone else would be fair on that person, especially if they cared about me... Rebound relationships never go well."

"That depends on what you mean by rebound," Viggo said after a moment. "If you wait a good amount of time and find someone you truly care about... well, its not a rebound anymore. At least, I don't think so."

"It's the waiting thing... that's what I gotta do first, wait, get over Sean... and be truly over him before I look for someone else."

"Yes, that's true," Viggo said with no little regret. "Like I said, you may stay here as long as you wish. Longer, even."

Elijah presses a kiss to Viggo's cheek and gave him a smile, "Thank you Viggo, for being such a good friend."