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fellowshippers2005-03-23 10:35 pm
saklani2.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2005-03-23 10:35 pm
New: Always Darkest 1/30 (Viggo/Elijah, AStin/Elijah) [NC-17]
Hello everyone-
I am now going to post in its entireity all 144 pages of Always Darkest in about 30 parts. Its a Viggo/Elijah fiction, mostly, with a bit of Astin/Elijah for good measure. Its mostly unbetaed, because we are killing our betas with about five other fics of this length. So this one is raw, but we hope you enjoy it anyway.
Thanks!
Saklani and Wushu
Title: Always Darkest
Author: Saklani (saklani@wildmail.com) and Wushu
Codes: Viggo/Elijah, some Astin/Lij RPS
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own these men, or anything else I mention here. I am not looking to make money from this... God forbid. And I am NOT them nor is what I put down here real. Thank you.
Summary: Elijah and Sean Astin share one night and then must deal with the consequences.
Author's Notes: This is one of a multitude of long, complex fictions that Wushu and I have been writing together. Basically, this is unbetaed as neither of us have time to beta this one and our regular beta readers want to kill us. We have four other fictions with them, so this one has to go out raw. We apologize for any errors, of which there are probably quite a few. Please ignore them!
Elijah's nervous energy almost bounced up and down the long hallway of the hotel as he stopped at the door, his hand raising and falling several times as he wrestled with himself, he was still unsure that his was the right path, but he couldn't take this any more. It was the only way he could see to get over this love that had no hope. Having once again convinced himself, for the moment at least, that his plan was the best way, his hand lifted again, fingers seeming to move in slow motion as they curled into a fist and he knocked at the door.
Clicking off the local news report, Sean climbed off his bed and went to peer through the peephole. A smile appeared on his round face at the sight of Elijah. He opened the door and instantly embraced his fellow hobbit in a warm hug of comradeship. "Lij! Come in! Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Yeah... a beer if you've got one..." Elijah's smile was warm, but he knew Sean would soon see that something was bothering him, Sean knew Elijah better than Elijah always felt comfortable with sometimes, but the reverse was also true, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. It was that ability to read Sean that had prompted this plan. He had seen the heat in Sean's gaze a few times, he knew his friend was... aware of him, even if Sean was still lying to himself about it. However Elijah wasn't lying to himself, he knew that no matter how important he was to Sean, no matter how much... chemistry there was, there was NO way Sean would leave his wife. And honestly, Elijah wouldn't let him, because he knew that Sean would never be happy with him, but. Elijah sighed, but he wanted this badly enough, needed... needed it even. If Sean said yes."
"Oh sure," Sean said, tossing one to Elijah from the small fridge. He hopped on a chair and looked at Elijah, patting the chair nearby. "How did you guess I would be lonely and watching boring television all by myself tonight?"
"Because just about everyone that's here is doing a night shoot tonight, just you me and the stinker that are not needed... sooooo.... I know Andy's wife is here, yours isn't. It wasn't hard." Opening the can he downed about half of it searching for the speech he'd written in his mind, unable to remember a word of it.
"Well, you're a welcome presence and no doubt," Sean said, falling into Sam's speech pattern for a moment. "Its good to be back for these last days of shooting, but I will be glad when I can be back with my family." He smiles fondly at Elijah, a hint of something more lingering in his eyes. "I will miss my family here, though. Especially my Frodo."
"And your Frodo misses the strong and stalwart Samwise at his side, more and more as we get closer and closer to the end of all things." Elijah's smile was sad as he looked at Sean...
Sean smiled back and reached out to pat his hand comfortingly. "Its not the end, Elijah. We'll see each other as often as we can. You know that. This is not a part of my life I plan to just let go of."
"Neither do I Sean, but... with the end of these reshoots... the chapter will be completely closed. And... " He finished his beer before turning to look at Sean intently, "Before that happens... I... I have a favour to ask of you."
Sean narrowed his eyes a little in confusion and worry, seeing the intent and unsettling expression on Elijah's face. "If I can do anything to help you, Elijah, you know you just need to ask. I'm here for you."
Elijah's voice was low and intense, throbbing with deep emotion as he spoke, "Give me tonight Sean?"
"I- I do not understand," Sean said softly, though part of him thought he did and clawed away from the idea. He kept his expression neutral, trying not to show the conflicting feelings already coursing through him.
"You are not the innocent you try and sell to the world Sean, I know you better than that... just as you know me. You... " Elijah felt silent for a moment before speaking, "The first time we met, do you remember? We knew at that moment, at that hug that Peter was so right in his casting. That it was like we already knew one and other. Well in that moment I knew something more."
Sean frowned and stood up, walking away from Elijah rather deliberately. "As you knew from that first moment that whatever feelings might be between us, they were to remain unspoken. Yes, I am not an innocent, but I am not a cheater either, Elijah. My family means everything to me, more than I can verbalize, despite my tendency to make speeches about what matters to me." He turned to face the younger man, chin lifted slightly in anger. "Why do you ask this of me?"
"Because it is all I will ever ask Sean." Elijah took a deep breath before saying softly, "I have been in love with you for five years Sean, a love I can not seem to get over, or forget, or even one that lessens with time. I have tried every method I know to stop being in love with you Sean and still I cannot change my love for you to the platonic love we both wish it was. Every method save one Sean." Elijah took a deep shuddering breath.
"You truly believe that one night shall satisfy you, Elijah?" Sean asked in a soft voice. "I do not believe life works that way. Perhaps it will soothe you for a short time, but we will both regret it." He looked at his hands, which trembled slightly. The thought of having Elijah, even for a moment, tempted him more than he wanted to think about.
"I don't know if it will soothe me, or satisfy me Sean, but I can not continue like this any more." The throbbing was back in Elijah's voice, all his passion directed at making Sean understand, "I hope... I think I've come to praying that a night with you... I know it would be sweet and loving, will enable me to say it is over. To put an end to the things I feel that I shouldn't. You have my word I would never tell Christine, or even mention it to you again, all I am asking for is a single night, to explore all that I feel for you." He looked into Sean's eyes, daring to say it for the first time, "To know the love we feel for each other, for just one night."
Sean stared into his eyes, weighing everything he saw in the bewitching blue depths. His insides shuddered, part of him wanting to weaken, while the other part wanted to toss Elijah out by his scruff. He settled for tearing his eyes away and staring at the ceiling. "We would hurt ourselves by this. You know I am right."
Elijah takes several steps towards Sean, stopping when they were only a hand's span apart, looking at Sean's face intently, "We are already hurting Sean." Taking a deep breath Elijah offers his last plea, "Tell me, look me in the eyes, and tell me that you do not want me. That you don't love me, and I will never bother you about this again."
Sean jerked his face back to him. "I am not hurting." He paused, the anger melting away at the sight of the raw need and breathtaking love in Elijah's face. Swallowing a knot of anxiety, he answered in the only way he can in the sight of such feeling. "I do love you, Elijah. And- and I want you... sometimes."
"I know, I can feel it Sean..." Elijah reached out and cupped Sean's face, looking deep into Sean's eyes, "I love you Sean, I need you so much it's tearing me up inside... please... please give me this one night?"
Sean opened his mouth to say no, shut it again as the word did not want to emerge. His left hand removed Elijah's fingers from his jaw and held them loosely. Words tumbled out of his mouth, and he heard them as through a dream. "Just this one night? And we never speak of it again?"
"I promise Sean." Elijah's expression showed his utter honestly.
The air in the room suddenly seemed oppressive and far too hot on Sean's skin. He gulped a couple of times and then whispered, "All right."
Elijah's smile was like the sun coming up, and he leant closer to Sean, eyes open as he pressed their lips together softly, whispering "Thank you Sean."
Sean kissed back, unable to resist the pressure. His arms crept up to wrap around Elijah's thin shoulders. He pulled the younger man closer, his mouth opening in a more demanding way. If he was going to live to regret this, he might as well make the night something truly regrettable.
False dawn had come and gone, and the room was growing steadily lighter as Elijah lay in Sean's arms, watching his lover, his lover of this one night only, sleep. They had made love over and over, trying to pack five years worth of loving into one night. Elijah could not remember the number of times they had climaxed, because of each other, with each other. Elijah had not let Sean rest for more than half an hour at a time, before rousing his lover, arousing him time and time again, but, but as the sky had started to lighten and Sean had passed out Elijah had finally let him sleep. He knew if Sean had stayed awake, had realized the night was over, there would come a time when Sean told him to stop, no more, and Elijah couldn't face that thought. So he stayed awake himself, watching the light grow, diminish, and then grow again, the growing knowledge within his heart telling him time had almost run out.
Silently he slipped from the bed dressing slowly, drawing the night out as long as he could, but once he was dressed, he knew he could linger no longer. Leaning over Sean he pressed a soft kiss, full of love to Sean's lips and whispered in a voice that trembled with tears, "I love you so, Sean Patrick Astin." And he pressed a finally kiss to Sean's lips, not realizing a single tear had fallen onto Sean's face. Straightening suddenly he turned and left the room quickly, closing the door softly behind him as he fled down the hall, up a flight of stairs and into his own room.
**********
Viggo placed the last of his rather scruffy clothes into his worn suitcase. He smiled a little at the sight of paint-smeared pants and shirts crammed into the ancient leather bag. Viggo never really lived the part of movie star, not even now that he really was one. Pausing for a moment, he stared at the window into the New Zealand day. He pondered idly all the times he did this in the past, just stared into the sky and thought the days might never end. Yet, they had, as all things must. And part of him regretted the end with an ache all the way through to his bones.
Elijah wrapped his arms tightly around his body, the last of his reserves had been used up in filming today, replaying the scene over and over, knowing just as PJ did, that they had it, and waiting for his director and friend to call cut. He had wanted and dreaded that very word, and been so proud of himself when he had managed to not burst into tears at the sound of it. Stopping at Viggo's hotel door Elijah scuffed his feet against the plush carpet for a moment before knocking, then wrapping his arms around himself again.
Opening the door, Viggo does not even say hello before pulling Elijah into a large, warm hug. He hoped to see everyone again before they left and was disappointed when Astin took the first flight out. "Hi, Doodle," he greeted Elijah, after setting him back down. He took one close look at Elijah's face and his demeanor instantly changed to one of warmth and care. "What's wrong?"
"I think I did something really stupid Viggo... And I'm lost." And he stepped into Viggo's embrace again, hiding his face in Viggo's neck.
Viggo gathered him up close, shutting the door so they might have privacy. "Come here, let us sit down, Elijah." He gently separated from the embrace long enough to sit down and let Elijah clamber into his lap, a familiar gesture, and wrapped his arms around him again. "Tell me."
"I... I slept with Sean... we... we... we..." He couldn't say the words, but Viggo would know exactly what he meant, "I couldn't do it any more... I begged him for one night... he... he agreed... we... it was amazing... and now I wanna die inside."
Understanding flooded Viggo, followed by a bit of anger at Astin for being stupid, and then compassion for them both. Elijah would not be easy to say no to, especially when he focused all of his intensity on you like the sun. He stroked Elijah's back softly and whispered, "Ah, Doodle."
Elijah's breath became ragged as he started to unravel before Viggo's eyes, "I didn't think it could hurt any more Viggo... but it does... so much..." and any further attempt at words was lost to his tears.
Viggo did not ask him to stop crying, nor encourage him to stem the tide of tears. Instead, he rocked the young man and massaged his back carefully. He remembered a day, not so long ago, when he shook with grief and regret for a love gone awry. His studio still retained the evidence of his grief from that day, as did his emotions.
Elijah cried until he had no more tears, and then lay in Viggo's embrace, his breath shuddering through him, slowly becoming more controlled, his shoulders shaking less and less until he was finally still except for his gentle breathing against Viggo's wet neck.
Viggo waited a few more moments before speaking, "Any better?"
"No... Not... not really. But... more under control for a little while?" Elijah sighs softly before speaking again, "I'm sorry."
"There is no need to be sorry, Elijah, I am glad you came to me. I only wish you had come sooner. The longer you keep pain to yourself, the more it burns. I know." He kissed Elijah's forehead tenderly.
"I... I had to keep it together for PJ you know? I ... I couldn't disappoint him because I'm a fuck up. Because I fucked up." He sighs softly "But the road not longer 'travel's ever on'..." Elijah quotes with a soft smile, "So I guess falling apart is ok now."
Viggo hugged him tighter and shook his head. "You're not a fuck up, Elijah. And no matter what, you never let any of us down on the movie. We were all afraid of letting you down."
"What are you talking about? You guys could never let me down. And I am a fuck up Viggo. I fell in love with a married guy who although he loves me, will never ever chose me, and I wouldn't even ask him to. At least... if I'd fallen for a straight guy... it would have been simpler... I still can't get over him Vig... It's been five years and I still can't." he started out loudly, but by the end was whispering his words softly, desperately.
"Listen to me, Doodle," Viggo said softly, his voice low and sweet. "Love doesn't make any sense. Its not supposed to make sense. You can be borne to summits and depths never imagined by its grip. You're not a fuck up for being powerless to stop your feelings. You're just human, like the rest of us."
Elijah lifted his head, his red-rimed eyes full of an ageless sorrow as he asks the question he had never dared ask before, "Is that what happened with... with him?" As soon as the question was out of his mouth Elijah looked ashamed of himself, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
For a moment, Viggo did not speak, looking at the wall with distant eyes. Finally, his voice rough with emotion, he said, "Orlando decided that being with me would not be conducive to a long and successful career as a movie star. He ended our relationship before we told anyone who might spread the word beyond the confines of our band of fellows."
Elijah wraps his arms around Viggo now, hugging him for a long moment before whispering, "I am sorry Viggo. You deserve much, much better than that. He's a fool, of the highest order, and one day, he will know it. I... I wish I had been there for you more at the time."
"We all deal with things differently, Elijah. You were there for me, everyone was, and I appreciated your support. Still do." He hugged Elijah back tightly, his arms squeezing around the slight frame. "And Orlando and I would never have worked out, but that did not stop me from loving him. Anymore than it did you from loving Astin. Since when do hearts reason?"
"If you ever meet one, let me know... we can put an entry in the Guinness book of records, the first intelligent heart in existence." Elijah's tone was bitterly self-mocking before he shook his head, "Sorry... And I managed to reason myself in the most stupid path I could take, but... Viggo I don't know how to get over him. I've tried everything I know, everything that's been suggested... being with other people, being alone, not seeing him, seeing him. Pretending I don't, acknowledging that I do... I even tried being with him, hoping that would end the hunger. None of it works"
Viggo lifted his head to gaze into the alarming blue eyes with his own calm steel. "There is no answer I can give you, Elijah. Some people never do get over a love that cannot work out. Maybe you never will. Or maybe someday, you will be walking down the street and happen to glance over at someone else and forget a man named Sean Astin ever existed in your heart. Love and sense..." He kissed the tip of Elijah's nose playfully. "Until then, Doodle, you just keep going... keep working and keep looking forward. Did you know I smashed all of my paintings when Orlando left me? So now, I have to make all new ones."
"Even... even that blue one I wanted to buy?" Elijah looked very sad at the thought that the painting that had touch his heart in ways he still couldn't express had been destroyed.
"Naw, Bean managed to get a few of them out before I did... he arrived a few moments before I totally lost it..." Viggo shut his eyes at the memory of pain and utter lost-ness.
Elijah presses a very soft kiss to each of Viggo's closed eyes, "I'm sorry you are hurting Vig. I know how it feels and it's not fun." Sighing Elijah presses his forehead to Viggo's softly, closing his sore, red eyes.
Viggo opened his eyes and watched the face pressed close to his. "It's gotten better, over time. I understand why Orlando chose as he did, even though I would never do the same. And if we were not meant to work out, better to find out from his own lips."
"I guess... Sean... Sean and I never talked about it, it was just always there, between us, unvoiced, but known, to us both. Maybe if we had talked about it, it might have helped." Elijah sighs softly, breathing the faintest scent of cloves onto Viggo's face, "Can I ask a very big favour Viggo?"
"You can ask anything of me, Doodle," Viggo replied.
"I don't think I could bear going back to New York alone... and... I can't be around my family at the moment. Would... would you mind, if I came and stayed with you for a while. I'll try very hard to be as little bother as possible. I just... I know being alone would be the worst thing for me. And... And there is no one else I trust with this."
"You're always welcome, Doodle," Viggo said with a large smile. "And I can paint you another picture, something even better than the blue one. Something just for you."
"Thank you Viggo... I... I can't tell you how much. Thank you." And he opened his eyes slightly, looking at Viggo's smile before asking suddenly, "Which is the broken one?"
"Which is the broken what?" Viggo asked with a slight frown of confusion.
"Tooth... sorry... just... you were smiling, and I could see your teeth.... and I just wondered suddenly..." Elijah looked a little bashful, "I... I get really random, even more so, when I'm upset."
"You want me to pull off the cap and show you?" Viggo asked with a laugh. He opened his mouth and touched the tooth broken by an excited extra wielding a long sword. "This one.... and I was lucky not to lose more than a part of a tooth."
Elijah nods, looking at the tooth for several moments before asking, "Ever thought about getting a like... poison tooth or something strange like that?" Elijah's tone was dryly curious as his eyes closed and he snuggled his head under Viggo chin, "Can I stay here to night?"
Viggo laughed a little at the idea and shook his head. "I think I may leave it unfixed if the cap falls off, though. It matches my scarred lips rather nicely." He settled his chin in soft hair. "You can stay a long as you like. Did you bring supplies?'
"Um... I... no... I didn't plan that far ahead... a... a part of me wondered... well... it was so... so stupid, now I look back at it... but..." He sighs softly, "Maybe you'd like... throw me out on my ass or something." Elijah looked down at his hands, trying to kill each other in his lap.
Two strong hands entwined with Elijah's and settled them gently. "I would never do that to you, Doodle, no matter what you had done."
Elijah didn't look up, but his fingers held onto Viggo's tightly, "I... I can't tell you how much this all means to me, I really can't. Thank you."
"Helping people gives me a purpose in life," Viggo said lightly, but his eyes shone with your welcome. "Where do you want to sleep? And shall I make reservations for you to join my flight home?"
"Could... could I sleep with... I... I don't wanna be... be alone. Please Viggo?" He looked up at Viggo, blue eyes beseeching.
A single nod answered the plea, as Viggo found himself no more a match for the blue eyes than Sean had been. "Do you know what that look does to people?" he asked.
Elijah looked confused for a moment, as he hadn't been trying to 'use' his look, his emotions were in true control, "I..." He shrugged slightly, "I can't help it... I don't do it on purpose."
"I know," Viggo said with a slight smile, "and I would have said yes if you did not possess two of the world's deadliest weapons. Now, shall we go get you some clothes? Or better still, shall we pick up all your stuff? You may as well stay with me until we leave."
Elijah's arms wrapped around Viggo tightly and he nuzzled his face into Viggo's neck, whispering several times, "Thank you Viggo."
Viggo just hugged him tightly in response, words superfluous in the moment. He gazed across the room at the sight of them in the mirror and smiled at the image. Who would guess two of the most popular actors in the world were both nursing broken hearts?
Elijah closed his eyes again, intending to just relax for a moment, to let himself feel safe and cared for. He could feel the tension he had been feeling since... since forever draining from his body, but he didn't feel the tiredness that came hard on it's heels, because he was already fast asleep, tucked up safely in Viggo's arms.
Viggo glanced down and realized Elijah had fallen asleep. He lifted the man up, standing and carrying him toward the bed, He set Elijah down, settling beside him before he can notice the separation. Flipping the lights off, he shut his eyes and let himself rest until Elijah woke.
Elijah woke slowly as the last of the day's light left the room, taking a few minuets to realize where he was, and with whom. After his brief, but prolific promiscuous phase Elijah was still not taking such things for granted. Unsure if Viggo was awake he whispered softly, "Strider?"
"What Frodo?" Viggo asked, his voice alert and awake. His eyes opened, glittering in the darkness as they gazed at Elijah. "You slept the day away, right through lunch and dinner."
"I guess that either shows I'm not really a hobbit... or that I was very tired..." He thought about it for a moment and said, "I don't think I have slept since... since the night before..." He trailed away and sighs softly.
"Then it was worth missing a few meals," Viggo said soothingly. "Do you want to eat something and get your things?" He fluffed Elijah's messy hair.
"I'm not really hungry... I... I vote for getting things?" Elijah looked up at Viggo, unconsciously seeking his approval.
"All right. I can always gnaw off my leg later," Viggo aid agreeably. He hopped up, barely noticing the rumpled clothes or bed hair that spiked everywhere wildly. "Let's go pick up your things, We can make a big show of it all, see if you get any questioning calls from other hobbits tomorrow."
"If you're hungry... I mean... I don't want to..." He looked very frazzled, "If you're hungry I can pack and stuff without you, I don't want to keep you from your... supper?"
"I can always order in," Viggo said, smiling at the rather dazed Elijah. "Come on, now, hobbit, let's go get your stuff. Will one trip in my car be enough or do you have a boatload of CDs?"
"Vig? We're in the same hotel um... I don't think they will let you drive through the hotel... I have a couple of suitcases... that's all..." He looked at Viggo more than a little confused.
"Well, you never know... I had this image of you renting an entire floor to store all your CDs. I swear I have never heard you listening to the same music twice..." He grinned, a half-teasing, half-cocky grin that made him look about twenty.
Elijah covered his mouth as he giggles, eyes that were still slightly red dancing at Viggo, "You are a crazy man... I think that's why I like you so much.'
A hand clasped over his heart, Viggo swooned on to the bed. "Elijah likes me," he cooed dreamily, in his best fan girl voice.
Elijah grabbed up a pillow and swatted Viggo directly in the face.
"Oof! Why you little..." He grabbed the other pillow and bashed Elijah in the side.
"Bully!! You great big bully!!" And he sung the pillow again, swatting Viggo across the side of the head before dropping the pillow and fleeing for the door.
Viggo chased after him, growling like a charging warg. He hit the door as Elijah slammed it in his face, but tore it quickly open and flew after him down the halls, baying like a large hound.
Elijah screamed and laughed as he ran as quickly as he could down the hall, skidding around a corner and ignoring the doors that flew open behind them, their fellow cast members wondering what on earth they were doing. He managed to keep ahead of Viggo, just, but when he had to stop and open his door it gave Viggo several moments to catch up. Elijah scooted into his room, desperately trying to close the door before Viggo got there.
Viggo burst into the room just as the door slammed behind him. With a roar of triumph, he tackled Elijah on tithe bed and began tickling him mercilessly.
Elijah squeals and screams, begging Viggo to stop, please, please stop, finally calling out loudly, "UNCLE!!!! YOU WIN!!!!! UNCLE!!!"
"I'm not your uncle," Viggo said, rolling off him. He beat his chest triumphantly, like he had seen one of the characters on Elijah's favorite new video game do.
Elijah goggled at Viggo for a moment before he burst into peels and peels of happy laughter.
Grinning like a big, happy goof, Viggo sat down and waited for the laughter to stop. He enjoyed the sight of Elijah, laughing away, when he had so recently been depressed and crying in Viggo's arms.
Elijah's laughter slowly died away as his belly protested, the stitch in his side growing until a finally silent Elijah flopped back onto the bed and sighed, "Thank you Vig... I so needed that."
"Crazy man Viggo, that's me," he said. "Now, let's get your things packed and check you out of this room. No sense being overcharged, even for a few nights. How much longer are you staying here?"
"Um... New Line booked me in for another two nights... I... I don't know... when are you leaving?" Elijah stands and starts gathering up the few things he'd unpacked, dropping them on the bed and heading into the bathroom, "Um... suitcase is under the bed."
"Same. I managed to gather the remaining clan for a dinner tomorrow, before we all head off. I'm glad you'll be going with me. I was already starting to feel lonely." He ducked under the bed and yanked Elijah's suitcase out. "Why did you jam this under here?"
"Because I can't lift it to the top of the wardrobe?" Elijah comes back with a toiletries bag and a copy of Return of the King from the bathroom.
"How many times did you read that?" Viggo asked, looking at the worn copy, he easily hefted the suitcase and set it on the bed, opening it and letting Elijah pile stuff in.
"More times than I think I can count. I may not have read the books before getting to set, but I have read them more times than I can count since."
"And I never want to look at them again," Viggo said with a great finality. "I don't want to think about Aragorn or his burdens or his struggles or anything ever. All I want is to remember all of you." He pounced Elijah again, spinning him around for a hug.
Elijah snuggles into Viggo's hug happily, "I... I don't mind still having Frodo in my life. I'll never live him down for some people, but you know... that's ok, because it means that he touched them somehow..." Elijah smiled softly before asking, "Am I making the slightest sense?"
"Yes," Viggo said with a laugh and a kiss to Elijah's nose. "You make perfect sense. Now keep making sense, and let's finish packing and go eat something. I'll even treat you to some of that disgusting pizza you like so much."
Elijah wrinkled his nose and shook his head, "No... I'm not really hungry..." He shrugged and stepped away, gathering up a few more things before zipping up the full suitcase, "Can you get the other one from under the bed please Vig?" That was the important one anyway, it was a small case, just over carry on size, but it was fill of CDs.
Viggo mumbled at him and then practically disappeared under the bed to grab the second suitcase. He paused for a moment and then called, "Elijah, I seem to be stuck!"
I am now going to post in its entireity all 144 pages of Always Darkest in about 30 parts. Its a Viggo/Elijah fiction, mostly, with a bit of Astin/Elijah for good measure. Its mostly unbetaed, because we are killing our betas with about five other fics of this length. So this one is raw, but we hope you enjoy it anyway.
Thanks!
Saklani and Wushu
Title: Always Darkest
Author: Saklani (saklani@wildmail.com) and Wushu
Codes: Viggo/Elijah, some Astin/Lij RPS
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own these men, or anything else I mention here. I am not looking to make money from this... God forbid. And I am NOT them nor is what I put down here real. Thank you.
Summary: Elijah and Sean Astin share one night and then must deal with the consequences.
Author's Notes: This is one of a multitude of long, complex fictions that Wushu and I have been writing together. Basically, this is unbetaed as neither of us have time to beta this one and our regular beta readers want to kill us. We have four other fictions with them, so this one has to go out raw. We apologize for any errors, of which there are probably quite a few. Please ignore them!
Elijah's nervous energy almost bounced up and down the long hallway of the hotel as he stopped at the door, his hand raising and falling several times as he wrestled with himself, he was still unsure that his was the right path, but he couldn't take this any more. It was the only way he could see to get over this love that had no hope. Having once again convinced himself, for the moment at least, that his plan was the best way, his hand lifted again, fingers seeming to move in slow motion as they curled into a fist and he knocked at the door.
Clicking off the local news report, Sean climbed off his bed and went to peer through the peephole. A smile appeared on his round face at the sight of Elijah. He opened the door and instantly embraced his fellow hobbit in a warm hug of comradeship. "Lij! Come in! Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Yeah... a beer if you've got one..." Elijah's smile was warm, but he knew Sean would soon see that something was bothering him, Sean knew Elijah better than Elijah always felt comfortable with sometimes, but the reverse was also true, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. It was that ability to read Sean that had prompted this plan. He had seen the heat in Sean's gaze a few times, he knew his friend was... aware of him, even if Sean was still lying to himself about it. However Elijah wasn't lying to himself, he knew that no matter how important he was to Sean, no matter how much... chemistry there was, there was NO way Sean would leave his wife. And honestly, Elijah wouldn't let him, because he knew that Sean would never be happy with him, but. Elijah sighed, but he wanted this badly enough, needed... needed it even. If Sean said yes."
"Oh sure," Sean said, tossing one to Elijah from the small fridge. He hopped on a chair and looked at Elijah, patting the chair nearby. "How did you guess I would be lonely and watching boring television all by myself tonight?"
"Because just about everyone that's here is doing a night shoot tonight, just you me and the stinker that are not needed... sooooo.... I know Andy's wife is here, yours isn't. It wasn't hard." Opening the can he downed about half of it searching for the speech he'd written in his mind, unable to remember a word of it.
"Well, you're a welcome presence and no doubt," Sean said, falling into Sam's speech pattern for a moment. "Its good to be back for these last days of shooting, but I will be glad when I can be back with my family." He smiles fondly at Elijah, a hint of something more lingering in his eyes. "I will miss my family here, though. Especially my Frodo."
"And your Frodo misses the strong and stalwart Samwise at his side, more and more as we get closer and closer to the end of all things." Elijah's smile was sad as he looked at Sean...
Sean smiled back and reached out to pat his hand comfortingly. "Its not the end, Elijah. We'll see each other as often as we can. You know that. This is not a part of my life I plan to just let go of."
"Neither do I Sean, but... with the end of these reshoots... the chapter will be completely closed. And... " He finished his beer before turning to look at Sean intently, "Before that happens... I... I have a favour to ask of you."
Sean narrowed his eyes a little in confusion and worry, seeing the intent and unsettling expression on Elijah's face. "If I can do anything to help you, Elijah, you know you just need to ask. I'm here for you."
Elijah's voice was low and intense, throbbing with deep emotion as he spoke, "Give me tonight Sean?"
"I- I do not understand," Sean said softly, though part of him thought he did and clawed away from the idea. He kept his expression neutral, trying not to show the conflicting feelings already coursing through him.
"You are not the innocent you try and sell to the world Sean, I know you better than that... just as you know me. You... " Elijah felt silent for a moment before speaking, "The first time we met, do you remember? We knew at that moment, at that hug that Peter was so right in his casting. That it was like we already knew one and other. Well in that moment I knew something more."
Sean frowned and stood up, walking away from Elijah rather deliberately. "As you knew from that first moment that whatever feelings might be between us, they were to remain unspoken. Yes, I am not an innocent, but I am not a cheater either, Elijah. My family means everything to me, more than I can verbalize, despite my tendency to make speeches about what matters to me." He turned to face the younger man, chin lifted slightly in anger. "Why do you ask this of me?"
"Because it is all I will ever ask Sean." Elijah took a deep breath before saying softly, "I have been in love with you for five years Sean, a love I can not seem to get over, or forget, or even one that lessens with time. I have tried every method I know to stop being in love with you Sean and still I cannot change my love for you to the platonic love we both wish it was. Every method save one Sean." Elijah took a deep shuddering breath.
"You truly believe that one night shall satisfy you, Elijah?" Sean asked in a soft voice. "I do not believe life works that way. Perhaps it will soothe you for a short time, but we will both regret it." He looked at his hands, which trembled slightly. The thought of having Elijah, even for a moment, tempted him more than he wanted to think about.
"I don't know if it will soothe me, or satisfy me Sean, but I can not continue like this any more." The throbbing was back in Elijah's voice, all his passion directed at making Sean understand, "I hope... I think I've come to praying that a night with you... I know it would be sweet and loving, will enable me to say it is over. To put an end to the things I feel that I shouldn't. You have my word I would never tell Christine, or even mention it to you again, all I am asking for is a single night, to explore all that I feel for you." He looked into Sean's eyes, daring to say it for the first time, "To know the love we feel for each other, for just one night."
Sean stared into his eyes, weighing everything he saw in the bewitching blue depths. His insides shuddered, part of him wanting to weaken, while the other part wanted to toss Elijah out by his scruff. He settled for tearing his eyes away and staring at the ceiling. "We would hurt ourselves by this. You know I am right."
Elijah takes several steps towards Sean, stopping when they were only a hand's span apart, looking at Sean's face intently, "We are already hurting Sean." Taking a deep breath Elijah offers his last plea, "Tell me, look me in the eyes, and tell me that you do not want me. That you don't love me, and I will never bother you about this again."
Sean jerked his face back to him. "I am not hurting." He paused, the anger melting away at the sight of the raw need and breathtaking love in Elijah's face. Swallowing a knot of anxiety, he answered in the only way he can in the sight of such feeling. "I do love you, Elijah. And- and I want you... sometimes."
"I know, I can feel it Sean..." Elijah reached out and cupped Sean's face, looking deep into Sean's eyes, "I love you Sean, I need you so much it's tearing me up inside... please... please give me this one night?"
Sean opened his mouth to say no, shut it again as the word did not want to emerge. His left hand removed Elijah's fingers from his jaw and held them loosely. Words tumbled out of his mouth, and he heard them as through a dream. "Just this one night? And we never speak of it again?"
"I promise Sean." Elijah's expression showed his utter honestly.
The air in the room suddenly seemed oppressive and far too hot on Sean's skin. He gulped a couple of times and then whispered, "All right."
Elijah's smile was like the sun coming up, and he leant closer to Sean, eyes open as he pressed their lips together softly, whispering "Thank you Sean."
Sean kissed back, unable to resist the pressure. His arms crept up to wrap around Elijah's thin shoulders. He pulled the younger man closer, his mouth opening in a more demanding way. If he was going to live to regret this, he might as well make the night something truly regrettable.
False dawn had come and gone, and the room was growing steadily lighter as Elijah lay in Sean's arms, watching his lover, his lover of this one night only, sleep. They had made love over and over, trying to pack five years worth of loving into one night. Elijah could not remember the number of times they had climaxed, because of each other, with each other. Elijah had not let Sean rest for more than half an hour at a time, before rousing his lover, arousing him time and time again, but, but as the sky had started to lighten and Sean had passed out Elijah had finally let him sleep. He knew if Sean had stayed awake, had realized the night was over, there would come a time when Sean told him to stop, no more, and Elijah couldn't face that thought. So he stayed awake himself, watching the light grow, diminish, and then grow again, the growing knowledge within his heart telling him time had almost run out.
Silently he slipped from the bed dressing slowly, drawing the night out as long as he could, but once he was dressed, he knew he could linger no longer. Leaning over Sean he pressed a soft kiss, full of love to Sean's lips and whispered in a voice that trembled with tears, "I love you so, Sean Patrick Astin." And he pressed a finally kiss to Sean's lips, not realizing a single tear had fallen onto Sean's face. Straightening suddenly he turned and left the room quickly, closing the door softly behind him as he fled down the hall, up a flight of stairs and into his own room.
**********
Viggo placed the last of his rather scruffy clothes into his worn suitcase. He smiled a little at the sight of paint-smeared pants and shirts crammed into the ancient leather bag. Viggo never really lived the part of movie star, not even now that he really was one. Pausing for a moment, he stared at the window into the New Zealand day. He pondered idly all the times he did this in the past, just stared into the sky and thought the days might never end. Yet, they had, as all things must. And part of him regretted the end with an ache all the way through to his bones.
Elijah wrapped his arms tightly around his body, the last of his reserves had been used up in filming today, replaying the scene over and over, knowing just as PJ did, that they had it, and waiting for his director and friend to call cut. He had wanted and dreaded that very word, and been so proud of himself when he had managed to not burst into tears at the sound of it. Stopping at Viggo's hotel door Elijah scuffed his feet against the plush carpet for a moment before knocking, then wrapping his arms around himself again.
Opening the door, Viggo does not even say hello before pulling Elijah into a large, warm hug. He hoped to see everyone again before they left and was disappointed when Astin took the first flight out. "Hi, Doodle," he greeted Elijah, after setting him back down. He took one close look at Elijah's face and his demeanor instantly changed to one of warmth and care. "What's wrong?"
"I think I did something really stupid Viggo... And I'm lost." And he stepped into Viggo's embrace again, hiding his face in Viggo's neck.
Viggo gathered him up close, shutting the door so they might have privacy. "Come here, let us sit down, Elijah." He gently separated from the embrace long enough to sit down and let Elijah clamber into his lap, a familiar gesture, and wrapped his arms around him again. "Tell me."
"I... I slept with Sean... we... we... we..." He couldn't say the words, but Viggo would know exactly what he meant, "I couldn't do it any more... I begged him for one night... he... he agreed... we... it was amazing... and now I wanna die inside."
Understanding flooded Viggo, followed by a bit of anger at Astin for being stupid, and then compassion for them both. Elijah would not be easy to say no to, especially when he focused all of his intensity on you like the sun. He stroked Elijah's back softly and whispered, "Ah, Doodle."
Elijah's breath became ragged as he started to unravel before Viggo's eyes, "I didn't think it could hurt any more Viggo... but it does... so much..." and any further attempt at words was lost to his tears.
Viggo did not ask him to stop crying, nor encourage him to stem the tide of tears. Instead, he rocked the young man and massaged his back carefully. He remembered a day, not so long ago, when he shook with grief and regret for a love gone awry. His studio still retained the evidence of his grief from that day, as did his emotions.
Elijah cried until he had no more tears, and then lay in Viggo's embrace, his breath shuddering through him, slowly becoming more controlled, his shoulders shaking less and less until he was finally still except for his gentle breathing against Viggo's wet neck.
Viggo waited a few more moments before speaking, "Any better?"
"No... Not... not really. But... more under control for a little while?" Elijah sighs softly before speaking again, "I'm sorry."
"There is no need to be sorry, Elijah, I am glad you came to me. I only wish you had come sooner. The longer you keep pain to yourself, the more it burns. I know." He kissed Elijah's forehead tenderly.
"I... I had to keep it together for PJ you know? I ... I couldn't disappoint him because I'm a fuck up. Because I fucked up." He sighs softly "But the road not longer 'travel's ever on'..." Elijah quotes with a soft smile, "So I guess falling apart is ok now."
Viggo hugged him tighter and shook his head. "You're not a fuck up, Elijah. And no matter what, you never let any of us down on the movie. We were all afraid of letting you down."
"What are you talking about? You guys could never let me down. And I am a fuck up Viggo. I fell in love with a married guy who although he loves me, will never ever chose me, and I wouldn't even ask him to. At least... if I'd fallen for a straight guy... it would have been simpler... I still can't get over him Vig... It's been five years and I still can't." he started out loudly, but by the end was whispering his words softly, desperately.
"Listen to me, Doodle," Viggo said softly, his voice low and sweet. "Love doesn't make any sense. Its not supposed to make sense. You can be borne to summits and depths never imagined by its grip. You're not a fuck up for being powerless to stop your feelings. You're just human, like the rest of us."
Elijah lifted his head, his red-rimed eyes full of an ageless sorrow as he asks the question he had never dared ask before, "Is that what happened with... with him?" As soon as the question was out of his mouth Elijah looked ashamed of himself, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
For a moment, Viggo did not speak, looking at the wall with distant eyes. Finally, his voice rough with emotion, he said, "Orlando decided that being with me would not be conducive to a long and successful career as a movie star. He ended our relationship before we told anyone who might spread the word beyond the confines of our band of fellows."
Elijah wraps his arms around Viggo now, hugging him for a long moment before whispering, "I am sorry Viggo. You deserve much, much better than that. He's a fool, of the highest order, and one day, he will know it. I... I wish I had been there for you more at the time."
"We all deal with things differently, Elijah. You were there for me, everyone was, and I appreciated your support. Still do." He hugged Elijah back tightly, his arms squeezing around the slight frame. "And Orlando and I would never have worked out, but that did not stop me from loving him. Anymore than it did you from loving Astin. Since when do hearts reason?"
"If you ever meet one, let me know... we can put an entry in the Guinness book of records, the first intelligent heart in existence." Elijah's tone was bitterly self-mocking before he shook his head, "Sorry... And I managed to reason myself in the most stupid path I could take, but... Viggo I don't know how to get over him. I've tried everything I know, everything that's been suggested... being with other people, being alone, not seeing him, seeing him. Pretending I don't, acknowledging that I do... I even tried being with him, hoping that would end the hunger. None of it works"
Viggo lifted his head to gaze into the alarming blue eyes with his own calm steel. "There is no answer I can give you, Elijah. Some people never do get over a love that cannot work out. Maybe you never will. Or maybe someday, you will be walking down the street and happen to glance over at someone else and forget a man named Sean Astin ever existed in your heart. Love and sense..." He kissed the tip of Elijah's nose playfully. "Until then, Doodle, you just keep going... keep working and keep looking forward. Did you know I smashed all of my paintings when Orlando left me? So now, I have to make all new ones."
"Even... even that blue one I wanted to buy?" Elijah looked very sad at the thought that the painting that had touch his heart in ways he still couldn't express had been destroyed.
"Naw, Bean managed to get a few of them out before I did... he arrived a few moments before I totally lost it..." Viggo shut his eyes at the memory of pain and utter lost-ness.
Elijah presses a very soft kiss to each of Viggo's closed eyes, "I'm sorry you are hurting Vig. I know how it feels and it's not fun." Sighing Elijah presses his forehead to Viggo's softly, closing his sore, red eyes.
Viggo opened his eyes and watched the face pressed close to his. "It's gotten better, over time. I understand why Orlando chose as he did, even though I would never do the same. And if we were not meant to work out, better to find out from his own lips."
"I guess... Sean... Sean and I never talked about it, it was just always there, between us, unvoiced, but known, to us both. Maybe if we had talked about it, it might have helped." Elijah sighs softly, breathing the faintest scent of cloves onto Viggo's face, "Can I ask a very big favour Viggo?"
"You can ask anything of me, Doodle," Viggo replied.
"I don't think I could bear going back to New York alone... and... I can't be around my family at the moment. Would... would you mind, if I came and stayed with you for a while. I'll try very hard to be as little bother as possible. I just... I know being alone would be the worst thing for me. And... And there is no one else I trust with this."
"You're always welcome, Doodle," Viggo said with a large smile. "And I can paint you another picture, something even better than the blue one. Something just for you."
"Thank you Viggo... I... I can't tell you how much. Thank you." And he opened his eyes slightly, looking at Viggo's smile before asking suddenly, "Which is the broken one?"
"Which is the broken what?" Viggo asked with a slight frown of confusion.
"Tooth... sorry... just... you were smiling, and I could see your teeth.... and I just wondered suddenly..." Elijah looked a little bashful, "I... I get really random, even more so, when I'm upset."
"You want me to pull off the cap and show you?" Viggo asked with a laugh. He opened his mouth and touched the tooth broken by an excited extra wielding a long sword. "This one.... and I was lucky not to lose more than a part of a tooth."
Elijah nods, looking at the tooth for several moments before asking, "Ever thought about getting a like... poison tooth or something strange like that?" Elijah's tone was dryly curious as his eyes closed and he snuggled his head under Viggo chin, "Can I stay here to night?"
Viggo laughed a little at the idea and shook his head. "I think I may leave it unfixed if the cap falls off, though. It matches my scarred lips rather nicely." He settled his chin in soft hair. "You can stay a long as you like. Did you bring supplies?'
"Um... I... no... I didn't plan that far ahead... a... a part of me wondered... well... it was so... so stupid, now I look back at it... but..." He sighs softly, "Maybe you'd like... throw me out on my ass or something." Elijah looked down at his hands, trying to kill each other in his lap.
Two strong hands entwined with Elijah's and settled them gently. "I would never do that to you, Doodle, no matter what you had done."
Elijah didn't look up, but his fingers held onto Viggo's tightly, "I... I can't tell you how much this all means to me, I really can't. Thank you."
"Helping people gives me a purpose in life," Viggo said lightly, but his eyes shone with your welcome. "Where do you want to sleep? And shall I make reservations for you to join my flight home?"
"Could... could I sleep with... I... I don't wanna be... be alone. Please Viggo?" He looked up at Viggo, blue eyes beseeching.
A single nod answered the plea, as Viggo found himself no more a match for the blue eyes than Sean had been. "Do you know what that look does to people?" he asked.
Elijah looked confused for a moment, as he hadn't been trying to 'use' his look, his emotions were in true control, "I..." He shrugged slightly, "I can't help it... I don't do it on purpose."
"I know," Viggo said with a slight smile, "and I would have said yes if you did not possess two of the world's deadliest weapons. Now, shall we go get you some clothes? Or better still, shall we pick up all your stuff? You may as well stay with me until we leave."
Elijah's arms wrapped around Viggo tightly and he nuzzled his face into Viggo's neck, whispering several times, "Thank you Viggo."
Viggo just hugged him tightly in response, words superfluous in the moment. He gazed across the room at the sight of them in the mirror and smiled at the image. Who would guess two of the most popular actors in the world were both nursing broken hearts?
Elijah closed his eyes again, intending to just relax for a moment, to let himself feel safe and cared for. He could feel the tension he had been feeling since... since forever draining from his body, but he didn't feel the tiredness that came hard on it's heels, because he was already fast asleep, tucked up safely in Viggo's arms.
Viggo glanced down and realized Elijah had fallen asleep. He lifted the man up, standing and carrying him toward the bed, He set Elijah down, settling beside him before he can notice the separation. Flipping the lights off, he shut his eyes and let himself rest until Elijah woke.
Elijah woke slowly as the last of the day's light left the room, taking a few minuets to realize where he was, and with whom. After his brief, but prolific promiscuous phase Elijah was still not taking such things for granted. Unsure if Viggo was awake he whispered softly, "Strider?"
"What Frodo?" Viggo asked, his voice alert and awake. His eyes opened, glittering in the darkness as they gazed at Elijah. "You slept the day away, right through lunch and dinner."
"I guess that either shows I'm not really a hobbit... or that I was very tired..." He thought about it for a moment and said, "I don't think I have slept since... since the night before..." He trailed away and sighs softly.
"Then it was worth missing a few meals," Viggo said soothingly. "Do you want to eat something and get your things?" He fluffed Elijah's messy hair.
"I'm not really hungry... I... I vote for getting things?" Elijah looked up at Viggo, unconsciously seeking his approval.
"All right. I can always gnaw off my leg later," Viggo aid agreeably. He hopped up, barely noticing the rumpled clothes or bed hair that spiked everywhere wildly. "Let's go pick up your things, We can make a big show of it all, see if you get any questioning calls from other hobbits tomorrow."
"If you're hungry... I mean... I don't want to..." He looked very frazzled, "If you're hungry I can pack and stuff without you, I don't want to keep you from your... supper?"
"I can always order in," Viggo said, smiling at the rather dazed Elijah. "Come on, now, hobbit, let's go get your stuff. Will one trip in my car be enough or do you have a boatload of CDs?"
"Vig? We're in the same hotel um... I don't think they will let you drive through the hotel... I have a couple of suitcases... that's all..." He looked at Viggo more than a little confused.
"Well, you never know... I had this image of you renting an entire floor to store all your CDs. I swear I have never heard you listening to the same music twice..." He grinned, a half-teasing, half-cocky grin that made him look about twenty.
Elijah covered his mouth as he giggles, eyes that were still slightly red dancing at Viggo, "You are a crazy man... I think that's why I like you so much.'
A hand clasped over his heart, Viggo swooned on to the bed. "Elijah likes me," he cooed dreamily, in his best fan girl voice.
Elijah grabbed up a pillow and swatted Viggo directly in the face.
"Oof! Why you little..." He grabbed the other pillow and bashed Elijah in the side.
"Bully!! You great big bully!!" And he sung the pillow again, swatting Viggo across the side of the head before dropping the pillow and fleeing for the door.
Viggo chased after him, growling like a charging warg. He hit the door as Elijah slammed it in his face, but tore it quickly open and flew after him down the halls, baying like a large hound.
Elijah screamed and laughed as he ran as quickly as he could down the hall, skidding around a corner and ignoring the doors that flew open behind them, their fellow cast members wondering what on earth they were doing. He managed to keep ahead of Viggo, just, but when he had to stop and open his door it gave Viggo several moments to catch up. Elijah scooted into his room, desperately trying to close the door before Viggo got there.
Viggo burst into the room just as the door slammed behind him. With a roar of triumph, he tackled Elijah on tithe bed and began tickling him mercilessly.
Elijah squeals and screams, begging Viggo to stop, please, please stop, finally calling out loudly, "UNCLE!!!! YOU WIN!!!!! UNCLE!!!"
"I'm not your uncle," Viggo said, rolling off him. He beat his chest triumphantly, like he had seen one of the characters on Elijah's favorite new video game do.
Elijah goggled at Viggo for a moment before he burst into peels and peels of happy laughter.
Grinning like a big, happy goof, Viggo sat down and waited for the laughter to stop. He enjoyed the sight of Elijah, laughing away, when he had so recently been depressed and crying in Viggo's arms.
Elijah's laughter slowly died away as his belly protested, the stitch in his side growing until a finally silent Elijah flopped back onto the bed and sighed, "Thank you Vig... I so needed that."
"Crazy man Viggo, that's me," he said. "Now, let's get your things packed and check you out of this room. No sense being overcharged, even for a few nights. How much longer are you staying here?"
"Um... New Line booked me in for another two nights... I... I don't know... when are you leaving?" Elijah stands and starts gathering up the few things he'd unpacked, dropping them on the bed and heading into the bathroom, "Um... suitcase is under the bed."
"Same. I managed to gather the remaining clan for a dinner tomorrow, before we all head off. I'm glad you'll be going with me. I was already starting to feel lonely." He ducked under the bed and yanked Elijah's suitcase out. "Why did you jam this under here?"
"Because I can't lift it to the top of the wardrobe?" Elijah comes back with a toiletries bag and a copy of Return of the King from the bathroom.
"How many times did you read that?" Viggo asked, looking at the worn copy, he easily hefted the suitcase and set it on the bed, opening it and letting Elijah pile stuff in.
"More times than I think I can count. I may not have read the books before getting to set, but I have read them more times than I can count since."
"And I never want to look at them again," Viggo said with a great finality. "I don't want to think about Aragorn or his burdens or his struggles or anything ever. All I want is to remember all of you." He pounced Elijah again, spinning him around for a hug.
Elijah snuggles into Viggo's hug happily, "I... I don't mind still having Frodo in my life. I'll never live him down for some people, but you know... that's ok, because it means that he touched them somehow..." Elijah smiled softly before asking, "Am I making the slightest sense?"
"Yes," Viggo said with a laugh and a kiss to Elijah's nose. "You make perfect sense. Now keep making sense, and let's finish packing and go eat something. I'll even treat you to some of that disgusting pizza you like so much."
Elijah wrinkled his nose and shook his head, "No... I'm not really hungry..." He shrugged and stepped away, gathering up a few more things before zipping up the full suitcase, "Can you get the other one from under the bed please Vig?" That was the important one anyway, it was a small case, just over carry on size, but it was fill of CDs.
Viggo mumbled at him and then practically disappeared under the bed to grab the second suitcase. He paused for a moment and then called, "Elijah, I seem to be stuck!"
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