AndreaLyn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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fellowshippers2003-07-24 02:51 am
andrealyn) wrote in fellowshippers2003-07-24 02:51 am
(no subject)
Title: Deeds In The Dark
Pairings: Dom/Billy, Billy/Orlando, SeanB/Viggo, Miranda/Orlando, Liv/Elijah, [breathes] Orlando/Liv, Orlando/Elijah, minor Liv/Billy.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine. And trust me. This never ever, ever happened.
Summary: It's just like a murder-mystery! And a comedy of errors! And a porno!
Notes: Happy birthday![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shaenie. I hope this is acceptable. Major thanks to beizy for the beta-read and for everyone telling me that I am funny and not some dull pile of boredom.
In one of the many bouts of boredom on set, someone had pulled out the traveling Clue game they carried with them everywhere (no one remembers who it was exactly), and then it had all come together fairly easily. At a reasonable price, everyone chipped in to rent a mansion for the night and came up with quirky personas.
Billy the butler was in perfect, kilted uniform – after all, a Scottish butler without a kilt was unheard of, or so Dom had said in which Billy had groaned in reply to. Yet, there he stood in a very drafty kilt, awaiting the doorbell to ring.
He froze as he passed an air vent installed in the floor, and gave a twitched shudder as a very cold blast of air flew straight up the kilt. He cursed Dom silently and remembered that once people arrived he could not slip out of the persona (unless emergency, or really good opportunities called for it).
Although, not wearing any underwear had been his move of brilliance.
The doorbell rang out clearly with a chime. He walked stiffly over to the door, seeing Miranda in the other room out of the corner of his eye. She lit a candle, and then accidentally, the flame touched upon a napkin, lighting it up immediately. He frowned as he watched her dash frantically around and finally dunking it in water.
He opened the door widely and smiled as Dom and Elijah stepped in from the rain. Elijah took the umbrella out from atop their heads and handed it to Billy who promptly shut it and put it away into an ornate carrier.
“Announcing Sir Dominic Monaghan,” Billy began speaking to the empty house, “millionaire extraordinaire, and…”
He stumbled, not knowing what Elijah’s role was – for good reason, the American had told no one but Dom what he was going to do. Elijah stepped forward and whispered it into Billy’s ear.
“And Elijah Wood, his man,” Billy finished, trying not to snicker. Elijah bowed a little and Dom whispered something in his ear. When the talking finished, Elijah ran up to Billy and relayed the message.
“He says your ass looks good,” Elijah whispered. Billy winked at Dom as Miranda ushered the men into the house, getting them stiff drinks and hanging up their coats while Billy ushered in the next wave of people who arrived just as he had been shutting the door.
Viggo was dressed in a poncho, followed by Sean in a leather-panted, leather-jacketed, outfit with accompanying leather whip. Liv trailed the two in an extremely revealing dress. On her arm was Orlando in what could pass for normal clothes – albeit, only normal for Orlando.
“Viggo Mortensen, inventor from the West,” Billy ushered him in. “Sean Bean, adventurer on a break from the cradle of life in Africa.” Sean hung up his hat and cracked his whip, which brought Elijah immediately out of the living room in intrigue. “Orlando Bloom, actor who wears very familiar clothing,” Billy commented with distaste.
“Cheers mate, couldn’t find nothing else,” he winked and moved on, greeting Dom with a large hug.
“And Liv Tyler…” he paused, unaware of what her role was either.
“Whore,” she filled in with a wide smile.
“Whore,” Billy coughed and repeated uncomfortably. She gave him a shining smile as she walked past, pinching his arse in the process. He jumped at the hands roving up the material of his kilt and watched in astonishment as they all walked past into the living room where Miranda was serving them rum.
Just as he was turning to join them, the door knocked again.
Once.
Thud.
Twice.
Thud.
ThreeFourFiveSixSevenEightNineTen times.
ThudThudThudThudThudThudThudThud
Billy opened the door to reveal Andy standing in the pouring rain wearing a white coat with loose arms. He sighed in relief. With everyone there, they could begin.
“The doctor is here!” Billy announced.
Andy smiled as he waltzed into the room that contained the others. He took a seat on the arm of a chair and raised Viggo’s glass, downing the contents. “Well chaps, lovely night, isn’t it?”
“It would be better if you hadn’t stolen my drink,” Viggo responded in turn. Andy rolled his eyes.
“You’re an inventor,” he leaned down and whispered, smiling across the room to Sean. “Invent yourself a new one!”
With that, he leaned back into the straight position. Billy caught Orlando’s eye, and noticed how his head was gesturing towards the kitchen. Billy frowned, until Orlando pointed subtly to a hors d’oeuvre and then to the kitchen. Billy’s eyes widened in comprehension.
“OH!” he exclaimed. “Yes, erm…well, I need someone to help me…with the kitchen things, and…” Billy coughed. “Yeah.”
“Me!” Orlando jumped up just as Dom was about to open his mouth. “I love the kitchen! Don’t you?” he hustled over other legs and hustled past Billy into the kitchen where he was joined soon after. Liv entered the room from the billiards room that adjoined to that one, and pulled off one of her gloves.
“Lovely little place,” she mused.
“It is though,” Sean agreed. He shifted a little, causing the leather pants to squeak in their accord. “I do think my outfit agrees,” he commented and received a bout of laughter in return.
“And what’s the whip for?” Liv purred, running her fingers up and down the leather material. Dom turned to her and gave her a completely innocent, disinterested look. He gave a large yawn while making a show of covering his mouth.
“Don’t know why he even carries it. After all, after the last incident with our adventurer over there, you’d have thought the whip would be bro-ken,” Dom rolled his eyes lasciviously. Elijah nodded vehemently. “My man remembers,” Dom handed the floor to Elijah, who stepped into the center of the room.
“Ooh!”
Viggo went red.
“There!”
Elijah’s eyes went wide. Sean coughed uncomfortably.
“Sean!”
Elijah imitated a whip cracking.
Sean and Viggo simultaneously looked other places while Liv clapped in delight, the sound somewhat muffled by her leather gloves. She giggled while Miranda served the drinks.
“How did you …” Viggo coughed, “I mean, we thought we were al…”
“When doing it in a trailer, it’s not in proper fashion to leave a window open,” Elijah confided in a serious voice – dropping his accent and character for a moment. Viggo turned even paler at the prospect of someone overhearing. He downed the drink.
“Now where is that boy Orlando? He promised me a fine evening!” Liv pouted. Viggo and Sean exchanged an amused look. Liv gave a pout for all the men to see. Miranda walked around unnoticed, even as she singed the corner of the flowers hanging from the vase. She made a face that conveyed the emotion of ‘oops’ before scuttling out of there.
“He’s…” Elijah spoke up, “indisposed.”
While Dom got up to wander about – and try to get a glimpse into the kitchen, no doubt – Andy slid into his spot. When Dom turned and saw this, he frowned. “I was sitting there,” he commented.
“Your name on it?” Andy inquired.
“No,” Dom pouted and went to play with the furnishing on the mantle, next to the fireplace. Elijah went to console him, throwing dirty looks back in Andy’s direction as he propped his feet up on the table. They all watched in curiosity as the fire in the fireplace dwindled down to its last flame and then flickered out.
“Fire’s out,” Dom commented.
“We can see that,” Liv rolled her eyes.
“Viggo can light it,” Sean winked. “Come on baby, light that fire. Just like you lit my fire the other night.”
The room fell into uncomfortable silence as everyone cringed on Sean’s behalf and tried avidly to avoid looking at Viggo’s annoyed face.
“Do I look like Don Juan? Or a lighter, for that matter?”
There was silence. Viggo sighed in frustration.
“The answer is no.”
“No,” Miranda, Liv, Andy, and Dom all chorused.
Suddenly, as Miranda was moving to strike a match, the lights flickered out and left the room in complete darkness. The group groaned a little, and there was confusion. When the light flickered back on, everyone stood in mostly the same places, but Miranda’s match had been struck and was perilously close to burning Liv’s hair.
Sean blew out the flame and looked around.
“Where’s Andy?”
“He’s gone?” Liv wrinkled her nose in confusion as she turned about quickly, giving the men a quick view of the pale skin that connected back and legs. “No. That’s wrong! Billy was supposed to be our murder victim.”
As she spoke, Miranda lit the fire just as the lights kicked off again.
“I don’t like this,” Dom murmured.
“You’re supposed to?” Viggo questioned.
“I usually like dark,” Dom snapped back.
“And you’re usually shagging Billy when it’s dark. You’ve got good reason,” Elijah piped up, before Dom clamped his hand around his mouth, allowing only muffled speech to escape.
“Well, what do we do? Maybe Billy is ‘dead’,” Liv made air quotes. Miranda lit a candle as she spoke.
“They’re in the kitchen!” Dom exclaimed. The candle Miranda carried swung around; nearly hitting the loose clothing Viggo was wearing in the process. Viggo winced as the flame flickered by the hem of his shirt. “Orlando slipped away with Billy to explore new venues, he said!”
“Was that in character?” Sean mused in a low voice to Elijah.
“Kitchen then!” Miranda lifted the candle high – causing everyone to duck – and nearly lit the curtains aflame. Liv edged in and swiftly stole the candle away from her.
“I’ll lead the way,” she advised.
The group huddled behind Liv, hands groping and touching everywhere. In the dark, no one could tell whose hands they belonged to, so all were silent. When they reached the swinging door of the kitchen, they halted and listened to the high-pitched giggling.
“Oh god, that’s hot Orlando,” Billy’s voice carried through. Dom got a lost puppy-dog look on his face at the thought of the two of them actually cavorting. Elijah winced at the sounds of something knocking against the kitchen cupboards.
“That tastes so good,” Orlando moaned.
Viggo rolled his eyes, and pushed through the swinging doors, ushering the group (and the candle) into the kitchen to stop the act that Billy and Orlando were in the middle of. The two froze what they were doing at the sight of the new people in the room. They had tiny tea candles lit all over the counter.
“Hey guys,” Orlando waved.
The group blinked.
“Do you want a quiche?” Billy held one up. “We’ve been making them for a half hour now.”
“They’re delicious!” Orlando mumbled, his mouth full of the very warm food.
“This,” Dom blinked in surprise, “is what you’ve been doing? Orlando, you snuck off to cook? I mean…I gave you a little more credit than that, after all those late night affairs with Elijah...”
“And me,” Liv piped up.
“And Liv!” Dom finished, without missing a beat.
“We’ve broken characters?” Orlando whispered to Sean, who nodded back at him. “Well, then…yes?” he weakly finished. The group tried to look outraged, but fell flat. “What’s going on anyway? I thought you lot would have been halfway to drunk off your asses and I was waiting to seduce Lij.”
“Andy went missing,” Viggo fell in flatly. “And the lights are off.”
“Viggo, you can just invent something for us to see!” Orlando suggested quickly, the knowledge that they had broken characters slipping by the pretty little actor’s head. Billy shook his head in dismay as Viggo regarded him with incredulity.
“Do I look like Thomas Edison? The correct answer here is no.”
“No,” Dom, Billy, Liv and Miranda chorused.
“There’s a word Viggo doesn’t hear very often,” Orlando murmured to the artists’ back as he wandered into the hall, a candle in his hand. Dom, Billy, and Elijah all broke into amused giggles at the crack, but Viggo would hear nothing of it. The group followed him out into the hall.
“Okay, we search for Andy in groups of two,” he ordered. “Elijah and Liv will take the attic. Dom and Billy have the second floor. Orlando and Miranda will take the main floor, and Sean and I will take the basement.”
Everyone looked at him dubiously.
“What?” he asked with impatience.
“We’re going to work in those groups?” Billy asked with a scoff. Dom’s eyes kept trailing lower and lower, snapping back up every few seconds before the kilt kept drawing his attention again.
“Man’s got a point,” Dom murmured in a monotone.
Elijah laughed. “Andy’s lost forever with those pairs!”
“Deal with it,” Viggo snapped as he dragged Sean down into the basement with him, his hand lingering on the leather of the coat, before the two shared a mischievous smile.
The two men trailed down to the basement with the help of only one dim candle. Sean wrapped his arms around Viggo’s neck, his body squeaking with leather all the way. Sean nuzzled the ear and chuckled lowly.
“Do we actually mean to be searching for Andy?” Sean asked lowly, straight into Viggo’s ear.
“If he happens to be here, he’ll obviously hear us,” Viggo flatly commented. “I do intend to make you scream.”
“Bastard,” Sean said in a pleasant voice as they hit the flat ground. “Wait, where’s my whip?”
“You lost it?” Viggo demanded.
“Liv has it!” Sean bit his lip in horror.
“Get it.”
“But we’d waste time, and I’d have to go all the way upstairs in the dark…”
“I want,” Viggo began, “to ride you,” he finished emphatically.
Sean sprinted up the stairs in the darkness and all the way up to the attic, his way illuminated only by the random candles that others had lit in their progress. He reached the attic and opened the door while panting furiously. The tiny candle flickered in the corner by a stripped mannequin and two interlocked figures.
He approached them and sighted his leather whip dangling from a very feminine hand.
“Elijah, you have my whip in your hand,” Sean commented with a tight smile. Elijah’s eyes went wide at the realization and he stepped forward from the shadows; he handed it back to Sean easily with an embarrassed smile.
“Sorry man,” he grinned. They went back to kissing and groping, and Sean couldn’t pass up the opportunity.
He apprehensively tapped Liv’s shoulder, separating her from making out with Elijah in the dark confines of the attic. She jumped a little and then blinked innocently while biting a nail. “No one’s here!” she reported with a look that clearly said: ‘fuck off!’
“We’ve broken character,” he whispered to her, gesturing to Elijah. Liv nodded vehemently as Elijah looked on devilishly.
“I know!”
Sean rolled his eyes before remembering that he had in his hands the possession he had come for in the first place. His mind quickly flashed images in a barrage at him. Viggo, the whip, riding, ViggoWhipRiding.
“Must go!” Sean squeaked and sprinted downstairs, leather pants squeaking all the way.
Dom opened a door and looked into it for signs of life. Billy lagged behind him, exerting heavy sighs into the air every few moments. Dom found his way into a room, and Billy followed, accidentally knocking the doorstop out of place. The door slowly began to shut behind them.
“I think we’re the only ones actually looking for him,” Billy announced as the door slammed shut. “Shite.”
“Don’t tell me that door is locked,” Dom said as he closed his eyes and pointed to the door. Billy began to fiddle with the very locked door handle.
“I’m sure it’s just playing with us,” Billy sarcastically muttered. He swore under his breath, while Dom switched positions with him and began to rattle the knob.
Dom pulled at the doorknob, panicking a little when it didn’t budge. He looked back to Billy and winced a little as he rammed his shoulder against the wood. Billy simply sat down and began to fan himself with an envelope sitting on the table.
“It’s locked,” Billy commented.
Dom’s shoulder rammed against the door again. “Brilliant deduction,” he commented as he rolled his eyes. Billy hopped from his seat and pried Dom away from the door, locking eyes with him seriously for a moment.
“You breaking your shoulder won’t help us any,” Billy advised tersely, returning to his fan and his seat.
“Yeah, well, maybe something will happen if I keep it up.”
“Dom, I can’t ask anything out of you, but you don’t have that endurance.”
“Are you saying I can’t keep it up for a while?” Dom accused in a horrified voice.
“Exactly,” Billy pointedly said.
“I’ll have you know I am in top shape! Perfect physical condition. There is no failure of effort on my part!”
“Dom?”
“Yeah Bills?” Dom turned and looked at Billy, whose face was flushing the moment that he turned to sight the familiar features.
“We were speaking of your shoulder, right?” Billy inquired, feeling his breath threatening to disappear.
“We were?”
“Yeah.” He weakly spoke.
“Huh. I thought we were talking about going all night, me sucking you off, and you thrusting into me.”
“Dom?”
“Yeah Billy?”
“Can we please wait until we’re out of here for you to give me a fucking hard-on?” Billy hissed, while fanning himself more vehemently to make the heat go away. Dom’s eyes narrowed on something that kept flipping back and forth inside the envelopes, and snatched it from Billy’s hands. He opened it to reveal a key.
“Idiot,” Dom accused, and stuck the key in the other door in the room. He beamed triumphantly when it drifted open. Billy made a face before following Dom out of the room. He stopped in his tracks and Dom stopped when he didn’t hear a second pair of feet following him.
“Again, why are we searching?” Billy demanded. Dom considered this for a moment before checking around them to make sure no one else could see what they would get up to. Dom licked his lips as his foot scuffed around the carpet at his feet.
“You know, we should look a little lower for Andy,” Dom mused, “if you were to get on your knees around the vicinity of my pants, you’d have a much better view.”
“That’s not what Orlando said to sweet-talk me earlier,” Billy murmured as he closed the distance between them and got to his knees, the carpet burning his bare knees a little as his mouth latched into Dom’s jeans. He unhooked the button with nimble fingers before attaching his teeth to the teeth of the zipper.
“Oh god…Orlando!” Dom cried out teasingly, as Billy paused from unzipping Dom’s pants with his teeth. He stood back up so that they were face to face again, and Dom smirked at him.
“Just for that, you have to ask for permission now,” Billy warned him.
“Will you ravage me?” Dom asked, twiddling his thumbs.
Billy kissed him, pushing tongues and bringing heat into Dom’s mouth before he voiced something from very low, and very deep in his throat. Dom’s arms encircled Billy, and tried to encourage the sound to become a word.
“Oh!” It sounded like, and Dom kissed him with a little more intensity to coax it out into a louder cry. “Orlando!” Billy’s cry was guttural.
Billy pulled away from Dom and gave him a teasing look.
“Bastard,” Dom accused with a pout.
“Orlando!” Billy cried again, with a little more mocking this time.
“…OH! Orlando!” Miranda cried out with a squeal as he thrust into her, pushing her against the wall. She let out a near-shriek of a scream as he pushed into her again and again, pounding against the wall.
Miranda let out a shrill cry as she finally came, slumping against Orlando’s strong arms. She had her back against something on the wall and felt it switch as she descended down the smooth surface.
Suddenly, the lights flickered on.
“I’m very good, I know,” Orlando bragged. “Did your world spin too?”
“A little…” Miranda admitted.
“I am good,” Orlando winked.
“…because you spun me around for a good three minutes,” she complained. “I thought I might throw up!”
“Well…it got you into the…um…that is to say…I think I hear people in the foyer!” Orlando announced with childish delight at getting himself off the hook and rushed out of the room and around the corner to find Liv, Sean, Viggo, and Elijah conversing. “What’s going on?”
“Couldn’t find him,” Liv reported.
“Searched every inch,” Sean nodded in agreement, wincing a little as Viggo rested a hand on his shoulder. The whip was mysteriously missing, and the clothes of all the people in the foyer were quite mussed.
“Of what?” Elijah mused quietly – only loud enough for Sean to hear and whap him for it. “Ow! I hope your whip bruises hurt extra badly tomorrow fucking morning!” Elijah swore.
While it appeared there would be impending violence, Miranda and Liv backed away from the two while Viggo and Orlando did the same on the other side.
“Right then, and where are the marks on your knees from you getting down to suck Orlando off?” Sean offered. Orlando stepped forward at this and raised his hand a slight bit.
“I was with Miranda tonight,” he interjected, and Sean looked extremely embarrassed once again.
“Is this going to continue on for ages? I am rather hungry,” a foreign voice entered the melee of mixed voices, and all eyes turned to the area at the door where Andy stood clutching his drink and putting his umbrella and coat away. He smiled as he walked down the steps without a care.
“Where did you go?” Miranda asked, her eyes wide at the gall of him to just show up after all their hard work.
“Well, it got dark all of a sudden, and I was thirsty,” Andy shrugged, holding up the Big Gulp he was carrying in his hands. “So I left to get this.”
“And you didn’t tell anyone?” Liv asked with a heavy sigh.
“I whispered it to someone in the dark, but I think they were a little busy snogging someone else or something. Anyways, didn’t think anyone would mind!” Andy commented with a shrug as Sean and Viggo gave each other a guilty look. Dom and Billy burst into the room, panting and their clothes disheveled.
“We’re here! We couldn’t find…wait…found him!” Dom bent over and began, but grabbed Andy’s shirtsleeve to hold it up as he finished his sentence. He beamed with pride – first at Billy and then to everyone else. Pairs began to dissipate as people headed to rooms.
“Guys?” Billy asked as they walked off. Andy reclaimed his shirtsleeve and put his jacket back on, grabbing an umbrella and mouthing a quick ‘bye’ before heading out into the drizzling night.
“Anyone?” Dom quietly added as three sets of doors shut and the two were left alone.
Dom and Billy shared a quick look while they swayed back and forth, making sure no one was determined to return.
“Nice fire,” Billy commented.
An instant later, Dom pushed him down onto the couch, his body resting heavily atop the Scot’s, and his hands already roving inside the material of the black kilt, hand wrapping loosely around Billy’s cock.
“Now may I ravage you?” Dom asked politely.
“If you must.”
Dom grinned mischievously as he lowered himself and wrapped his mouth around Billy’s cock, sucking him off slowly and with great delight.
“Orlando!”
end
Pairings: Dom/Billy, Billy/Orlando, SeanB/Viggo, Miranda/Orlando, Liv/Elijah, [breathes] Orlando/Liv, Orlando/Elijah, minor Liv/Billy.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine. And trust me. This never ever, ever happened.
Summary: It's just like a murder-mystery! And a comedy of errors! And a porno!
Notes: Happy birthday
shaenie. I hope this is acceptable. Major thanks to beizy for the beta-read and for everyone telling me that I am funny and not some dull pile of boredom.In one of the many bouts of boredom on set, someone had pulled out the traveling Clue game they carried with them everywhere (no one remembers who it was exactly), and then it had all come together fairly easily. At a reasonable price, everyone chipped in to rent a mansion for the night and came up with quirky personas.
Billy the butler was in perfect, kilted uniform – after all, a Scottish butler without a kilt was unheard of, or so Dom had said in which Billy had groaned in reply to. Yet, there he stood in a very drafty kilt, awaiting the doorbell to ring.
He froze as he passed an air vent installed in the floor, and gave a twitched shudder as a very cold blast of air flew straight up the kilt. He cursed Dom silently and remembered that once people arrived he could not slip out of the persona (unless emergency, or really good opportunities called for it).
Although, not wearing any underwear had been his move of brilliance.
The doorbell rang out clearly with a chime. He walked stiffly over to the door, seeing Miranda in the other room out of the corner of his eye. She lit a candle, and then accidentally, the flame touched upon a napkin, lighting it up immediately. He frowned as he watched her dash frantically around and finally dunking it in water.
He opened the door widely and smiled as Dom and Elijah stepped in from the rain. Elijah took the umbrella out from atop their heads and handed it to Billy who promptly shut it and put it away into an ornate carrier.
“Announcing Sir Dominic Monaghan,” Billy began speaking to the empty house, “millionaire extraordinaire, and…”
He stumbled, not knowing what Elijah’s role was – for good reason, the American had told no one but Dom what he was going to do. Elijah stepped forward and whispered it into Billy’s ear.
“And Elijah Wood, his man,” Billy finished, trying not to snicker. Elijah bowed a little and Dom whispered something in his ear. When the talking finished, Elijah ran up to Billy and relayed the message.
“He says your ass looks good,” Elijah whispered. Billy winked at Dom as Miranda ushered the men into the house, getting them stiff drinks and hanging up their coats while Billy ushered in the next wave of people who arrived just as he had been shutting the door.
Viggo was dressed in a poncho, followed by Sean in a leather-panted, leather-jacketed, outfit with accompanying leather whip. Liv trailed the two in an extremely revealing dress. On her arm was Orlando in what could pass for normal clothes – albeit, only normal for Orlando.
“Viggo Mortensen, inventor from the West,” Billy ushered him in. “Sean Bean, adventurer on a break from the cradle of life in Africa.” Sean hung up his hat and cracked his whip, which brought Elijah immediately out of the living room in intrigue. “Orlando Bloom, actor who wears very familiar clothing,” Billy commented with distaste.
“Cheers mate, couldn’t find nothing else,” he winked and moved on, greeting Dom with a large hug.
“And Liv Tyler…” he paused, unaware of what her role was either.
“Whore,” she filled in with a wide smile.
“Whore,” Billy coughed and repeated uncomfortably. She gave him a shining smile as she walked past, pinching his arse in the process. He jumped at the hands roving up the material of his kilt and watched in astonishment as they all walked past into the living room where Miranda was serving them rum.
Just as he was turning to join them, the door knocked again.
Once.
Thud.
Twice.
Thud.
ThreeFourFiveSixSevenEightNineTen times.
ThudThudThudThudThudThudThudThud
Billy opened the door to reveal Andy standing in the pouring rain wearing a white coat with loose arms. He sighed in relief. With everyone there, they could begin.
“The doctor is here!” Billy announced.
Andy smiled as he waltzed into the room that contained the others. He took a seat on the arm of a chair and raised Viggo’s glass, downing the contents. “Well chaps, lovely night, isn’t it?”
“It would be better if you hadn’t stolen my drink,” Viggo responded in turn. Andy rolled his eyes.
“You’re an inventor,” he leaned down and whispered, smiling across the room to Sean. “Invent yourself a new one!”
With that, he leaned back into the straight position. Billy caught Orlando’s eye, and noticed how his head was gesturing towards the kitchen. Billy frowned, until Orlando pointed subtly to a hors d’oeuvre and then to the kitchen. Billy’s eyes widened in comprehension.
“OH!” he exclaimed. “Yes, erm…well, I need someone to help me…with the kitchen things, and…” Billy coughed. “Yeah.”
“Me!” Orlando jumped up just as Dom was about to open his mouth. “I love the kitchen! Don’t you?” he hustled over other legs and hustled past Billy into the kitchen where he was joined soon after. Liv entered the room from the billiards room that adjoined to that one, and pulled off one of her gloves.
“Lovely little place,” she mused.
“It is though,” Sean agreed. He shifted a little, causing the leather pants to squeak in their accord. “I do think my outfit agrees,” he commented and received a bout of laughter in return.
“And what’s the whip for?” Liv purred, running her fingers up and down the leather material. Dom turned to her and gave her a completely innocent, disinterested look. He gave a large yawn while making a show of covering his mouth.
“Don’t know why he even carries it. After all, after the last incident with our adventurer over there, you’d have thought the whip would be bro-ken,” Dom rolled his eyes lasciviously. Elijah nodded vehemently. “My man remembers,” Dom handed the floor to Elijah, who stepped into the center of the room.
“Ooh!”
Viggo went red.
“There!”
Elijah’s eyes went wide. Sean coughed uncomfortably.
“Sean!”
Elijah imitated a whip cracking.
Sean and Viggo simultaneously looked other places while Liv clapped in delight, the sound somewhat muffled by her leather gloves. She giggled while Miranda served the drinks.
“How did you …” Viggo coughed, “I mean, we thought we were al…”
“When doing it in a trailer, it’s not in proper fashion to leave a window open,” Elijah confided in a serious voice – dropping his accent and character for a moment. Viggo turned even paler at the prospect of someone overhearing. He downed the drink.
“Now where is that boy Orlando? He promised me a fine evening!” Liv pouted. Viggo and Sean exchanged an amused look. Liv gave a pout for all the men to see. Miranda walked around unnoticed, even as she singed the corner of the flowers hanging from the vase. She made a face that conveyed the emotion of ‘oops’ before scuttling out of there.
“He’s…” Elijah spoke up, “indisposed.”
While Dom got up to wander about – and try to get a glimpse into the kitchen, no doubt – Andy slid into his spot. When Dom turned and saw this, he frowned. “I was sitting there,” he commented.
“Your name on it?” Andy inquired.
“No,” Dom pouted and went to play with the furnishing on the mantle, next to the fireplace. Elijah went to console him, throwing dirty looks back in Andy’s direction as he propped his feet up on the table. They all watched in curiosity as the fire in the fireplace dwindled down to its last flame and then flickered out.
“Fire’s out,” Dom commented.
“We can see that,” Liv rolled her eyes.
“Viggo can light it,” Sean winked. “Come on baby, light that fire. Just like you lit my fire the other night.”
The room fell into uncomfortable silence as everyone cringed on Sean’s behalf and tried avidly to avoid looking at Viggo’s annoyed face.
“Do I look like Don Juan? Or a lighter, for that matter?”
There was silence. Viggo sighed in frustration.
“The answer is no.”
“No,” Miranda, Liv, Andy, and Dom all chorused.
Suddenly, as Miranda was moving to strike a match, the lights flickered out and left the room in complete darkness. The group groaned a little, and there was confusion. When the light flickered back on, everyone stood in mostly the same places, but Miranda’s match had been struck and was perilously close to burning Liv’s hair.
Sean blew out the flame and looked around.
“Where’s Andy?”
“He’s gone?” Liv wrinkled her nose in confusion as she turned about quickly, giving the men a quick view of the pale skin that connected back and legs. “No. That’s wrong! Billy was supposed to be our murder victim.”
As she spoke, Miranda lit the fire just as the lights kicked off again.
“I don’t like this,” Dom murmured.
“You’re supposed to?” Viggo questioned.
“I usually like dark,” Dom snapped back.
“And you’re usually shagging Billy when it’s dark. You’ve got good reason,” Elijah piped up, before Dom clamped his hand around his mouth, allowing only muffled speech to escape.
“Well, what do we do? Maybe Billy is ‘dead’,” Liv made air quotes. Miranda lit a candle as she spoke.
“They’re in the kitchen!” Dom exclaimed. The candle Miranda carried swung around; nearly hitting the loose clothing Viggo was wearing in the process. Viggo winced as the flame flickered by the hem of his shirt. “Orlando slipped away with Billy to explore new venues, he said!”
“Was that in character?” Sean mused in a low voice to Elijah.
“Kitchen then!” Miranda lifted the candle high – causing everyone to duck – and nearly lit the curtains aflame. Liv edged in and swiftly stole the candle away from her.
“I’ll lead the way,” she advised.
The group huddled behind Liv, hands groping and touching everywhere. In the dark, no one could tell whose hands they belonged to, so all were silent. When they reached the swinging door of the kitchen, they halted and listened to the high-pitched giggling.
“Oh god, that’s hot Orlando,” Billy’s voice carried through. Dom got a lost puppy-dog look on his face at the thought of the two of them actually cavorting. Elijah winced at the sounds of something knocking against the kitchen cupboards.
“That tastes so good,” Orlando moaned.
Viggo rolled his eyes, and pushed through the swinging doors, ushering the group (and the candle) into the kitchen to stop the act that Billy and Orlando were in the middle of. The two froze what they were doing at the sight of the new people in the room. They had tiny tea candles lit all over the counter.
“Hey guys,” Orlando waved.
The group blinked.
“Do you want a quiche?” Billy held one up. “We’ve been making them for a half hour now.”
“They’re delicious!” Orlando mumbled, his mouth full of the very warm food.
“This,” Dom blinked in surprise, “is what you’ve been doing? Orlando, you snuck off to cook? I mean…I gave you a little more credit than that, after all those late night affairs with Elijah...”
“And me,” Liv piped up.
“And Liv!” Dom finished, without missing a beat.
“We’ve broken characters?” Orlando whispered to Sean, who nodded back at him. “Well, then…yes?” he weakly finished. The group tried to look outraged, but fell flat. “What’s going on anyway? I thought you lot would have been halfway to drunk off your asses and I was waiting to seduce Lij.”
“Andy went missing,” Viggo fell in flatly. “And the lights are off.”
“Viggo, you can just invent something for us to see!” Orlando suggested quickly, the knowledge that they had broken characters slipping by the pretty little actor’s head. Billy shook his head in dismay as Viggo regarded him with incredulity.
“Do I look like Thomas Edison? The correct answer here is no.”
“No,” Dom, Billy, Liv and Miranda chorused.
“There’s a word Viggo doesn’t hear very often,” Orlando murmured to the artists’ back as he wandered into the hall, a candle in his hand. Dom, Billy, and Elijah all broke into amused giggles at the crack, but Viggo would hear nothing of it. The group followed him out into the hall.
“Okay, we search for Andy in groups of two,” he ordered. “Elijah and Liv will take the attic. Dom and Billy have the second floor. Orlando and Miranda will take the main floor, and Sean and I will take the basement.”
Everyone looked at him dubiously.
“What?” he asked with impatience.
“We’re going to work in those groups?” Billy asked with a scoff. Dom’s eyes kept trailing lower and lower, snapping back up every few seconds before the kilt kept drawing his attention again.
“Man’s got a point,” Dom murmured in a monotone.
Elijah laughed. “Andy’s lost forever with those pairs!”
“Deal with it,” Viggo snapped as he dragged Sean down into the basement with him, his hand lingering on the leather of the coat, before the two shared a mischievous smile.
The two men trailed down to the basement with the help of only one dim candle. Sean wrapped his arms around Viggo’s neck, his body squeaking with leather all the way. Sean nuzzled the ear and chuckled lowly.
“Do we actually mean to be searching for Andy?” Sean asked lowly, straight into Viggo’s ear.
“If he happens to be here, he’ll obviously hear us,” Viggo flatly commented. “I do intend to make you scream.”
“Bastard,” Sean said in a pleasant voice as they hit the flat ground. “Wait, where’s my whip?”
“You lost it?” Viggo demanded.
“Liv has it!” Sean bit his lip in horror.
“Get it.”
“But we’d waste time, and I’d have to go all the way upstairs in the dark…”
“I want,” Viggo began, “to ride you,” he finished emphatically.
Sean sprinted up the stairs in the darkness and all the way up to the attic, his way illuminated only by the random candles that others had lit in their progress. He reached the attic and opened the door while panting furiously. The tiny candle flickered in the corner by a stripped mannequin and two interlocked figures.
He approached them and sighted his leather whip dangling from a very feminine hand.
“Elijah, you have my whip in your hand,” Sean commented with a tight smile. Elijah’s eyes went wide at the realization and he stepped forward from the shadows; he handed it back to Sean easily with an embarrassed smile.
“Sorry man,” he grinned. They went back to kissing and groping, and Sean couldn’t pass up the opportunity.
He apprehensively tapped Liv’s shoulder, separating her from making out with Elijah in the dark confines of the attic. She jumped a little and then blinked innocently while biting a nail. “No one’s here!” she reported with a look that clearly said: ‘fuck off!’
“We’ve broken character,” he whispered to her, gesturing to Elijah. Liv nodded vehemently as Elijah looked on devilishly.
“I know!”
Sean rolled his eyes before remembering that he had in his hands the possession he had come for in the first place. His mind quickly flashed images in a barrage at him. Viggo, the whip, riding, ViggoWhipRiding.
“Must go!” Sean squeaked and sprinted downstairs, leather pants squeaking all the way.
Dom opened a door and looked into it for signs of life. Billy lagged behind him, exerting heavy sighs into the air every few moments. Dom found his way into a room, and Billy followed, accidentally knocking the doorstop out of place. The door slowly began to shut behind them.
“I think we’re the only ones actually looking for him,” Billy announced as the door slammed shut. “Shite.”
“Don’t tell me that door is locked,” Dom said as he closed his eyes and pointed to the door. Billy began to fiddle with the very locked door handle.
“I’m sure it’s just playing with us,” Billy sarcastically muttered. He swore under his breath, while Dom switched positions with him and began to rattle the knob.
Dom pulled at the doorknob, panicking a little when it didn’t budge. He looked back to Billy and winced a little as he rammed his shoulder against the wood. Billy simply sat down and began to fan himself with an envelope sitting on the table.
“It’s locked,” Billy commented.
Dom’s shoulder rammed against the door again. “Brilliant deduction,” he commented as he rolled his eyes. Billy hopped from his seat and pried Dom away from the door, locking eyes with him seriously for a moment.
“You breaking your shoulder won’t help us any,” Billy advised tersely, returning to his fan and his seat.
“Yeah, well, maybe something will happen if I keep it up.”
“Dom, I can’t ask anything out of you, but you don’t have that endurance.”
“Are you saying I can’t keep it up for a while?” Dom accused in a horrified voice.
“Exactly,” Billy pointedly said.
“I’ll have you know I am in top shape! Perfect physical condition. There is no failure of effort on my part!”
“Dom?”
“Yeah Bills?” Dom turned and looked at Billy, whose face was flushing the moment that he turned to sight the familiar features.
“We were speaking of your shoulder, right?” Billy inquired, feeling his breath threatening to disappear.
“We were?”
“Yeah.” He weakly spoke.
“Huh. I thought we were talking about going all night, me sucking you off, and you thrusting into me.”
“Dom?”
“Yeah Billy?”
“Can we please wait until we’re out of here for you to give me a fucking hard-on?” Billy hissed, while fanning himself more vehemently to make the heat go away. Dom’s eyes narrowed on something that kept flipping back and forth inside the envelopes, and snatched it from Billy’s hands. He opened it to reveal a key.
“Idiot,” Dom accused, and stuck the key in the other door in the room. He beamed triumphantly when it drifted open. Billy made a face before following Dom out of the room. He stopped in his tracks and Dom stopped when he didn’t hear a second pair of feet following him.
“Again, why are we searching?” Billy demanded. Dom considered this for a moment before checking around them to make sure no one else could see what they would get up to. Dom licked his lips as his foot scuffed around the carpet at his feet.
“You know, we should look a little lower for Andy,” Dom mused, “if you were to get on your knees around the vicinity of my pants, you’d have a much better view.”
“That’s not what Orlando said to sweet-talk me earlier,” Billy murmured as he closed the distance between them and got to his knees, the carpet burning his bare knees a little as his mouth latched into Dom’s jeans. He unhooked the button with nimble fingers before attaching his teeth to the teeth of the zipper.
“Oh god…Orlando!” Dom cried out teasingly, as Billy paused from unzipping Dom’s pants with his teeth. He stood back up so that they were face to face again, and Dom smirked at him.
“Just for that, you have to ask for permission now,” Billy warned him.
“Will you ravage me?” Dom asked, twiddling his thumbs.
Billy kissed him, pushing tongues and bringing heat into Dom’s mouth before he voiced something from very low, and very deep in his throat. Dom’s arms encircled Billy, and tried to encourage the sound to become a word.
“Oh!” It sounded like, and Dom kissed him with a little more intensity to coax it out into a louder cry. “Orlando!” Billy’s cry was guttural.
Billy pulled away from Dom and gave him a teasing look.
“Bastard,” Dom accused with a pout.
“Orlando!” Billy cried again, with a little more mocking this time.
“…OH! Orlando!” Miranda cried out with a squeal as he thrust into her, pushing her against the wall. She let out a near-shriek of a scream as he pushed into her again and again, pounding against the wall.
Miranda let out a shrill cry as she finally came, slumping against Orlando’s strong arms. She had her back against something on the wall and felt it switch as she descended down the smooth surface.
Suddenly, the lights flickered on.
“I’m very good, I know,” Orlando bragged. “Did your world spin too?”
“A little…” Miranda admitted.
“I am good,” Orlando winked.
“…because you spun me around for a good three minutes,” she complained. “I thought I might throw up!”
“Well…it got you into the…um…that is to say…I think I hear people in the foyer!” Orlando announced with childish delight at getting himself off the hook and rushed out of the room and around the corner to find Liv, Sean, Viggo, and Elijah conversing. “What’s going on?”
“Couldn’t find him,” Liv reported.
“Searched every inch,” Sean nodded in agreement, wincing a little as Viggo rested a hand on his shoulder. The whip was mysteriously missing, and the clothes of all the people in the foyer were quite mussed.
“Of what?” Elijah mused quietly – only loud enough for Sean to hear and whap him for it. “Ow! I hope your whip bruises hurt extra badly tomorrow fucking morning!” Elijah swore.
While it appeared there would be impending violence, Miranda and Liv backed away from the two while Viggo and Orlando did the same on the other side.
“Right then, and where are the marks on your knees from you getting down to suck Orlando off?” Sean offered. Orlando stepped forward at this and raised his hand a slight bit.
“I was with Miranda tonight,” he interjected, and Sean looked extremely embarrassed once again.
“Is this going to continue on for ages? I am rather hungry,” a foreign voice entered the melee of mixed voices, and all eyes turned to the area at the door where Andy stood clutching his drink and putting his umbrella and coat away. He smiled as he walked down the steps without a care.
“Where did you go?” Miranda asked, her eyes wide at the gall of him to just show up after all their hard work.
“Well, it got dark all of a sudden, and I was thirsty,” Andy shrugged, holding up the Big Gulp he was carrying in his hands. “So I left to get this.”
“And you didn’t tell anyone?” Liv asked with a heavy sigh.
“I whispered it to someone in the dark, but I think they were a little busy snogging someone else or something. Anyways, didn’t think anyone would mind!” Andy commented with a shrug as Sean and Viggo gave each other a guilty look. Dom and Billy burst into the room, panting and their clothes disheveled.
“We’re here! We couldn’t find…wait…found him!” Dom bent over and began, but grabbed Andy’s shirtsleeve to hold it up as he finished his sentence. He beamed with pride – first at Billy and then to everyone else. Pairs began to dissipate as people headed to rooms.
“Guys?” Billy asked as they walked off. Andy reclaimed his shirtsleeve and put his jacket back on, grabbing an umbrella and mouthing a quick ‘bye’ before heading out into the drizzling night.
“Anyone?” Dom quietly added as three sets of doors shut and the two were left alone.
Dom and Billy shared a quick look while they swayed back and forth, making sure no one was determined to return.
“Nice fire,” Billy commented.
An instant later, Dom pushed him down onto the couch, his body resting heavily atop the Scot’s, and his hands already roving inside the material of the black kilt, hand wrapping loosely around Billy’s cock.
“Now may I ravage you?” Dom asked politely.
“If you must.”
Dom grinned mischievously as he lowered himself and wrapped his mouth around Billy’s cock, sucking him off slowly and with great delight.
“Orlando!”
end
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Whatever made these people think they could pull off an entire murder mystery roleplaying game?
(umm, besides you writing it, I mean)I love it how they all break character pretty much right after intros are over and get on with the groping. Bunch of randy bastards, they are - and heaven knows we like'em that way! XDOrlandoooooo!
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Orlando!
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You are the sweetest EVAH.
I second the: poor Andy!!!
And I want to bop Orlando over the head.
Kilt!!!!!!
Thank you darling!!! *hugs*
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Heh, oh, there was no doubt it would fall apart. I was having trouble convincing myself to keep them together for as long as I did!
Thanks for reading!
(No! Orlando.)
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*cough* Yeah.
Thanks for reading :)
(No!)
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what's next: gosford park with all characters replaced by the actors from the lord of the rings, portraying themselves, kind of?
*pause*
actually, that sounds kind of ... good. but god help the sucker who tries to write it.
but i digress. as always. at length. anyway, lovely job.
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Thanks for reading.
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But, boy, am I lazy!
Thank you for reading, and whee! Like!
Oh priceless!!!
Loved this story so much. I was laughing at so many parts and my dog kept staring at me as if I had grown a second head and whimpering until it decided that it probably wasn't safe to remain in the room with a crazy person. You scared my dog away!
Great story, great dialogue... so funny.
Re: Oh priceless!!!
But thank you for reading and laughing and simply reading! :)