ext_39855 ([identity profile] wbearsmom.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fellowshippers2005-01-11 08:44 pm

A Birthday Goodbye, Part 2, DM/BB, PG-13

Hooray! Finally got this done! Take that, real life, for trying to interfere with my fictions!!


Title: A Birthday Goodbye Part 2: The New Year
Author: [livejournal.com profile] wbearsmom
Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: PG-13 to R
Summary: Billy wants to forget. Dom has other ideas.
Disclaimer: Still not true
Feedback: The more, the merrier
Warning: Angst, mild bondage
A/N: Part two of a two part series Conclusion to A Birthday Goodbye




Billy stood at the kitchen sink washing dishes. His sister, Margaret, had insisted that he come to her flat for dinner that night, and taking care of the dishes was his way of thanking her for the wonderful meal.

He knew Margaret was concerned for him. She had picked him up at the airport after his early return from his disastrous trip to Hawaii; she had taken one look at him and knew that something was terribly wrong. Thankfully she hadn't badgered him for an explanation - he would tell her when he was ready - but she always checked on him at least twice a day to make sure that he was okay.

Billy was far from okay. He had made his decision and was trying to move on, but it would be a very long time before he could get past the hurt enough to be considered okay.

He had spent the last few weeks getting rid of anything that reminded him of Dom. First, Billy took down all of the pictures. He wanted to tear them up and throw them away, but he couldn't bear to. They were now in a box at the back of his closet, buried underneath a pile of spare blankets. Next, he gathered up all of Dom's belongings that he had managed to collect over the years, and shipped them to Dom in Hawaii. Then he went through all of his DVDs. Anything with Dom in it - Lord of the Rings included - was also in a box, buried in the closet. He cleaned his entire flat from top to bottom in an effort to eradicate all traces of Dom.

Not that Dom was making things easy for him. Despite the fact that Billy (in his goodbye video) had told Dom not to contact him, Dom had repeatedly called and sent letters. Billy never picked up the phone and deleted any messages Dom left without listening to them. Letters were marked "Return to Sender" and sent back unopened. Billy was determined that Dom would no longer be a part of his life.

He was truly grateful for Margaret. Whenever he had felt overwhelmed she was there with soothing words and hugs, helping him to get through the waves of emotion that threatened to drown him at times. Especially now, during the holiday season. Billy knew that Dom was in Manchester visiting his family for the new year, and the thought that he was only a train ride away had unnerved him. So when Margaret insisted that he come over for dinner that night, he thankfully accepted the 'invitation'. He figured he could spend a few hours playing with the kids after dinner, and hopefully tire himself out enough so that he could just drop into bed and fall asleep when he got home.

*****

Dom was nervous as he walked towards the door. He knew Billy wasn't home - a long phone call to Margaret had seen to that - but he was anticipating what would happen later that night.

He opened the door (at least Billy hadn't changed the locks) and took a long look around the flat. Margaret wasn't kidding when she told Dom that Billy had gotten rid of everything related to Dom. There were no pictures, no movies - even the wine glasses with the Hawaiian design that Dom had sent Billy for his birthday were gone. 'Oh, Bills - do you really hate me so much?' he thought.

He took a deep breath and mentally steeled himself for the evening ahead. He tossed his duffel bag into the guest room, and then set about getting ready for Billy to come home.

*****


Billy entered his flat after his long evening with Margaret and the kids. He was quite tired, as he had hoped, and was preoccupied with the thought of getting to bed. So he was extremely surprised when he looked up and saw the figure standing in front of him.

"Dom!" he exclaimed, jumping in fright.

"Hello, Bills." Dom said.

Billy rapidly composed himself. "Get out!" he said angrily, turning his back to Dom.

"Not until we talk," responded Dom. He tensed, trying to decide if Billy would choose fight or flight. Either way, he would be ready.

Sure enough, Billy grabbed his coat and headed for the door. Dom was quick to react and blocked the way. Billy went to shove past him, but Dom had anticipated that and grabbed Billy, pinning his arms and preventing his escape. Billy struggled, shouting and cursing at Dom, but the combination of his exhaustion and Dom's reflexes kept him from breaking free.

"Just listen to me!" pleaded Dom as he fought with Billy. "Fuck off!" Billy shouted back. Dom dragged him over to a chair, forced him to sit and sat on his lap.

"Billy, please hear me out."

"GET OFF ME !!!" Billy tried to shove Dom away.

Dom knew it was time for drastic action. He reached down with one had, undid his belt and took it off. He pinned one of Billy's arms to the armrest of the chair and wrapped and tied the belt around it. Before Billy could react Dom grabbed his other arm and gave it the same treatment using Billy's belt. Dom then slid off of Billy's lap and onto the floor, keeping out of reach of Billy's legs in case Billy tried to kick him. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

Billy struggled a bit more, hurling curses at Dom, but soon realized that he was not going to be able to get out of the bonds. He stilled his movements. "Let me go, Dominic." His voice was low and menacing, sending a shiver down Dom's spine.

"Not until you listen to me." Dom responded.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to tell me."

"Well you're going to hear it anyway. You had your say when you left me that video, now it's my turn. And I'm live, so you can't turn me off or send me back or delete me or throw me away. So shut up and start listening." Dom got up off of the floor and dragged a chair over so that he could sit and face Billy.

Billy kept his head down, refusing to look at Dom. Dom took a few more calming breaths, then started. "First - I am in love with you, too, William Boyd. I LOVE YOU. More than anything, I love you.

"Second - I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I am such an asshole. I'm sorry that I took you for granted. I'm sorry that I let our friendship slide, and I'm sorry that it had to come to this - that it took losing you to get me to admit that I am in love with you."

Billy did not respond. Dom continued. "I have spent these last weeks trying to figure out what happened, what went wrong. Not just so I can understand, but so that I can explain it so that you can understand. I know this was my fault, and I don't know if you will forgive me, but I have to try. I owe you and explanation. I can't just let it end like this, for both our sakes. So I'm going to talk. And when I'm done I'll untie you. If you still want to kick me out of your life I'll go, and I'll respect your wishes and never try to contact you again. Deal?" Still no response from Billy. Dom nodded. "Alright. So I'm going to start at the beginning, just like you did.

"I remember vividly the day we met. I walked into costuming. You and Elijah were standing near each other, in your shorts, getting measured. Elijah was giggling like a schoolgirl, all embarrassed. I remember thinking how much of a skinny kid he was, and feeling pretty good about what my body looked like compared to his. Bit of an ego boost there. And then I saw you and - WOW. Well toned muscles under the chest hair - and the smirk on your face as the girl was measuring your inseam. I knew you just had to be Pippin. And I was thrilled that I would get to work so much with you. I had never felt such and immediate connection with anyone in my whole life, Bills. I can honestly tell you that working with you has made me a better actor, and having you as my best friend has made me a better person."

Dom sighed. "I always thought you were beautiful. I couldn't help but admire your body, Bills. Every time we went surfing, when we were getting in and out of costume, or whenever we were somewhat undressed I would look at you. I told myself it was just a friend appreciating another friend. It couldn't be anything more, right? I mean, I didn't find guys attractive like that, and as far as I knew you didn't either.

"But the girls found you very attractive. I remember being a bit jealous of you at the clubs when you would pull so easily. I'd watch you dancing and think how lucky you were, and wonder if those girls knew how lucky they were to be with you.

"Those nights when we took one girl home with us and, uh, shared - as you put it - were some of the most incredible nights of my life. I mean - the sex! God, Billy! I thought it was because of what those girls were willing to do, but now I know that it was because I was with you, feeling you move against me - even though there was someone between us. I get hard just thinking about it." Dom looked down at his crotch, which was indeed stirring from the memories. He risked a glance over at Billy, and he was pleased to see a sizeable bulge in Billy's pants. 'Okay, at least I know he is listening.' he thought.

Dom smiled as he went on. "I started dreaming about you, Bills. Very intimate dreams. I told myself that it was because we were together so much, and since dreams can be based on what you did and saw and thought about during the day that naturally my brain would put us together at night. Which leads me to the night of the Moria shoot - the one you spoke of.

"I was worried about you. I could feel the heat from your fever radiating off of you. And your feet were so blue from the cold. I just - I needed to take care of you that night. Merry looking out for his Pippin, both on and off the set. Curling up with you in bed, keeping you warm, was such a natural thing that I didn't even have to think about it.

"Billy, I felt you kiss me. If only I had realized - but I was dreaming about you in my arms and we were kissing in the dream, and I thought that what I felt was the dream kiss. It always felt so good, so right in my dreams, but when I woke up it upset me. Especially that morning because I woke up with you pressed against me and I came very close to - - - Billy, I have never wanted to do with another man what I wanted to do with you that morning, and I was disgusted with myself. Not because I wanted to have sex with a man - I'm not homophobic like that - but because you were so sick and depending on me to take care of you and I felt like it would be taking advantage of you - molesting you, even - and you were my best friend and I shouldn't have even been thinking about doing that with you."

Dom got up and walked over to the window. "I was so ashamed of my feelings that morning. I decided that I would never think of you that way again." He gave a short, wry chuckle. "Only it wasn't that easy, since we were together constantly. Every time you looked at me, or touched me, it was all I could do not to grab you and kiss you, or worse. And it began to annoy me when we would act up with our friends, or for the press, because I knew we were just joking around but inside I wanted it to be for real. Sometimes I got mad at myself, and mad at you for making me feel that way.

"I thought it would be easier once we went our separate ways after filming was done. In some ways it was. You weren't around me, so I didn't have the urge to jump you anymore. But in some ways it was harder. You weren't around, and I missed you terribly. Every time we talked on the phone all I could think of was how much I wanted to see you, to be with you. I got even madder at myself, because I felt like some teenager moping after a crush I couldn't have, and I got madder at you because you didn't feel the same way about me. Well - I thought you didn't. Pretty stupid assumptions on both our parts."

Dom sat back down in the chair and ran a hand through his hair. "You were right about me avoiding you in Hawaii, but not for the reasons that you thought. You see, Bills, I was so excited about seeing you again and it scared me. Suddenly there you were, stepping off the plane, hugging me, and everything just exploded. All the love, desire - everything I felt for you, everything I had bottled up inside came roaring to the surface and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't be around you. I was afraid that I'd lose control and do something that we'd both regret. So I kept running away - and I drove you away by doing that."

Tears were flowing down Dom's cheeks. He didn't try to stop them. "I'm so sorry, Billy. Sorry that I couldn't handle my feelings, sorry that I didn't talk to you. Sorry that I made you hate me. Please forgive me. Please, Billy, please don't make me live the rest of my life without you. Please - - - please - - -"

Dom had to let himself cry for a few minutes before he could bring himself to move and speak again. He slid off his seat and knelt in front of Billy, who was crying too. Dom reached up and began to undo one of the belts. "I'm letting you go now, Bills. And I'll keep my promise. If you want me to go I'll go. I'll - - -" A sob choked out. "I'll leave you alone forever, if that's what you want. I just - please give me another chance. I can't bear the thought of my life without you in it. Please - Billy - please - - -"

Dom finished untying Billy, then he sat back on the other chair, put his head in his hands with his elbows on his knees, and sobbed.

*****


Billy rubbed his arms where they had been tied to the chair. His mind was a whirlwind of confusing emotions - love, hate, anger, sadness and, most of all, fear. It was many long minutes, and many tears, before he could raise his eyes to the man seated in front of him.

He looked at Dom - beautiful, broken Dom - and in that instant his mind cleared, and he knew.

He stood up and moved in front of Dom. He reached down, slid his hands beneath Dom's and cupped Dom's face, lifting it so he could look into those stormy gray-blue eyes. He straddled Dom's legs and lowered himself so that he was sitting on Dom's lap. Gently, he wiped the tears from Dom's face, then leaned in and, oh so softly, kissed Dom's lips, much as he had that one night so long ago.

*****


Margaret opened the door to Billy's flat with some trepidation. she had been checking on Billy every morning since he had gotten back from Hawaii, but knowing about Dom's planned visit the night before made her nervous.

"Billy?" she called softly as she entered the flat. There was no answer. She stepped into the living room and saw an overturned chair and Billy's coat lying on the floor. "Billy?" she called again. Still no answer. She started searching the flat.

Eventually she came to Billy's bedroom. The door was half open, and she opened it a bit further to peer inside. What she saw brought a smile to her face.

Billy was lying on his left side, facing the door, sleeping. Dom was also sleeping, spooned behind Billy, pressed against Billy's back, with his right arm draped over Billy. They were holding hands, their fingers intertwined.

Margaret stood there for a few moments, watching the two men. Suddenly Billy began to move, as if he was about to wake up. Dom tightened his embrace, nuzzling his face into the back of Billy's neck. Billy smiled contentedly and began to relax, slipping back into peaceful slumber.

Margaret smiled again, and quietly blew a kiss at her brother and his love. "Finally," she said as she closed the bedroom door behind her. She made her way out of the flat, humming softly to herself.

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