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fellowshippers2004-11-16 06:21 pm
shellies.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-11-16 06:21 pm
Impulse 11/12 (BB/DM)
Title: Impulse 11/12
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: NC-17 for series
Summary: AU taking place at Stanford University.
Notes: The fraternity is fictional. Many, many thanks to Dani for the beta ♥ And, um, sorry this took an eternity to get out.
Previous parts can be found here. Takes place the morning after Part 10.
It was hot outside. Really hot. Billy squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, sweating from either nerves or the sun beating down on him, and he wondered again why he'd chosen to wear jeans. Or, better yet, why Stanford University insisted on holding its graduation ceremony on the campus green. Outside. In May.
He shifted again in his seat, trying to will himself to be patient. The graduates were toward the front, nearest to the stage, and from his seat in the back, Billy didn't bother trying to find Dom in the crowd. All he could see were rows of shoulders in black gowns, topped with identical caps. But he knew Dom was there, somewhere.
It was almost comforting, knowing he was there, so close to Billy. It was the closest - in physical proximity, anyway - that they'd been to each other since Billy's last night in the Sigma house, and god, that was depressing. But Dom was there, probably hot as hell in that black gown, but smiling like a fool. He'd waited his whole life for this moment, Billy thought with a small grin, and Billy was happy to share it with him, even if Dom wasn't aware of his presence.
The ceremony itself wasn't very special. In fact, it was rather boring, and Billy found himself tapping his foot impatiently more than once. He was just about to check his watch again when he heard the current name being announced, "Anna Molina," and realized that Dom was almost up.
He sat up a bit straighter in his seat, running his hands anxiously through his hair as he watched Dom cross the stage, walking confidently toward the dean and shaking his hand. He stood proudly as his photograph was taken, and Billy wished he were close enough to see Dom's crooked, dimpled smile.
It was then that Billy realized what a bad idea this had been.
Seeing Dom again was a bizarre mixture of joy - even from the distance, Billy could see how happy he was - and intense pain at knowing that Dom could be so happy when Billy was no longer a part of his life. But what else could he do? Billy had pushed him away, ignored his attempts to keep in touch. There was no other way to be than happy without him.
Stupidly, Billy decided that it would be rude to just get up and leave in the middle of the alphabet, so he managed to sit through the rest of the ceremony, losing himself in his thoughts.
He wondered what Dom would be doing afterwards. No doubt his parents were here, maybe even his brother and his family. They would probably all go out to celebrate, some fancy restaurant that Dom would pretend to be embarrassed by, but really love every second of the attention. Then what? Dom would probably see his family to their hotel and go out for more celebrating. Drinking, laughter, staying up all night; all the same things Billy did when he'd received his own degree years before.
Which brought Billy to his next, more upsetting thought. What would Dom be doing next? Not only after the ceremony, but next? After his grades were in and his degree in a frame on the wall, where would he go? Would he stay at Stanford and pursue his law degree there, or would he return to England? The thought tied Billy's stomach in knots, and not for the first time. He'd been torturing himself with this prospect, the idea that it was truly over and, soon, Dom would be across the ocean without ever speaking to Billy again. It was a much more somber notion than the silly little fantasy Billy had concocted, where Dom decided to stay at Stanford. He would run into Billy on campus one day, a little older and just as handsome, and he and Billy would talk, awkwardly at first, but then more comfortably. They'd have some coffee together and Billy would be able to apologize for being such a wanker and…
He was really such an idiot.
It would be better, much better for both of them, if Dom left Stanford. Or the country for that matter. Maybe then Billy would be able to move on, and Dom would be just as Billy hoped, successful and utterly free from the burdens of Billy Boyd.
He must have been more lost in his own world than he thought because, to Billy's surprise, everyone around him was standing and applauding. The graduation ceremony, it seemed, had ended. Billy rose from his seat, clapping politely and looking for the fastest escape from this place. People were starting to gather toward the front, where the new graduates were all standing, hugging and congratulating one another. He couldn't see Dom in the crowd. Wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, Billy made his way toward the end of the green, anxious to get out of the sun and away from all this happiness.
He headed into the nearest building, not quite caring where he went, and ducked into the men's restroom, shivering at the sudden gust of cool air from the air conditioner. All he really wanted to do was splash some cold water on his face to cool off, clear his head, and then he could go back to his apartment and continue to berate himself. It was too bad Stanford didn't offer a Ph.D. in self-criticism, he was getting quite good at that. Billy walked quickly to the nearest sink, ignoring the opening swing of the adjacent stall door.
"Billy."
Billy turned, stunned to hear the sound of Dom's voice saying his name. They stared at each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity before Billy was finally able to respond. "Dom, hi."
Dom looked...amazing, at least to Billy. His face was flushed, cheeks reddened from the sun, and his hair was matted to his forehead from being under his cap, the blond streaks darkened with sweat. He stared blankly at Billy a little bit more before moving to the sink - which Billy was still standing at stupidly, his hands dripping wet - and began to wash his hands. His movement forced Billy to move as well, nervously grabbing too many paper towels from the dispenser and rubbing at his hands. "Congratulations," he croaked out, his voice cracking in the silence of the small room.
Dom looked at him again, this time with a little more emotion. "Why are you here, Billy?" He seemed sad, not at all like the beaming man Billy had seen on the stage earlier, and genuinely confused to see Billy here. And no wonder - they hadn't seen each other or spoken in over a month, and not because Dom hadn't tried.
"I…I don't know," is all he said, mainly because 'To see you' was probably not as good idea. Suddenly, Billy didn't want to see him at all, didn't want to be anywhere near Dom when he couldn't be with him. This had been a terrible idea. "I'm sorry," he said, turning to leave the bathroom.
"Billy, wait."
With a defeated sigh, Billy stopped in mid-motion and turned again to face Dom. "What?" He didn't want to be cold, but Billy just didn't think he could bear anything that Dom could say to him. He had the right to be furious at Billy, probably hated him in fact, and Billy wouldn't blame him for anything he was about to say. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Have dinner with me?" Dom's voice was low and uncertain, almost as uncertain as Billy was at hearing those words. His heart jumped a little and he opened his eyes hesitantly, almost afraid that Dom would be gone. But he was there, rubbing his hand anxiously at the back of his neck, not quite looking at Billy.
"I…really?" Billy shook his head, trying to clear his muddled thoughts. "No, Dom, that's not a good idea, we can't-"
"Shit, Billy, don't do this. Just dinner? Please? I'm going back to Manchester tomorrow."
It was like a punch to the stomach, but a small part of Billy couldn't help but be relieved. Just dinner, then. "All right," he agreed. It would be easier on them both with Dom leaving, he thought. It would be goodbye.
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: NC-17 for series
Summary: AU taking place at Stanford University.
Notes: The fraternity is fictional. Many, many thanks to Dani for the beta ♥ And, um, sorry this took an eternity to get out.
Previous parts can be found here. Takes place the morning after Part 10.
Impulse 11
It was hot outside. Really hot. Billy squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, sweating from either nerves or the sun beating down on him, and he wondered again why he'd chosen to wear jeans. Or, better yet, why Stanford University insisted on holding its graduation ceremony on the campus green. Outside. In May.
He shifted again in his seat, trying to will himself to be patient. The graduates were toward the front, nearest to the stage, and from his seat in the back, Billy didn't bother trying to find Dom in the crowd. All he could see were rows of shoulders in black gowns, topped with identical caps. But he knew Dom was there, somewhere.
It was almost comforting, knowing he was there, so close to Billy. It was the closest - in physical proximity, anyway - that they'd been to each other since Billy's last night in the Sigma house, and god, that was depressing. But Dom was there, probably hot as hell in that black gown, but smiling like a fool. He'd waited his whole life for this moment, Billy thought with a small grin, and Billy was happy to share it with him, even if Dom wasn't aware of his presence.
The ceremony itself wasn't very special. In fact, it was rather boring, and Billy found himself tapping his foot impatiently more than once. He was just about to check his watch again when he heard the current name being announced, "Anna Molina," and realized that Dom was almost up.
He sat up a bit straighter in his seat, running his hands anxiously through his hair as he watched Dom cross the stage, walking confidently toward the dean and shaking his hand. He stood proudly as his photograph was taken, and Billy wished he were close enough to see Dom's crooked, dimpled smile.
It was then that Billy realized what a bad idea this had been.
Seeing Dom again was a bizarre mixture of joy - even from the distance, Billy could see how happy he was - and intense pain at knowing that Dom could be so happy when Billy was no longer a part of his life. But what else could he do? Billy had pushed him away, ignored his attempts to keep in touch. There was no other way to be than happy without him.
Stupidly, Billy decided that it would be rude to just get up and leave in the middle of the alphabet, so he managed to sit through the rest of the ceremony, losing himself in his thoughts.
He wondered what Dom would be doing afterwards. No doubt his parents were here, maybe even his brother and his family. They would probably all go out to celebrate, some fancy restaurant that Dom would pretend to be embarrassed by, but really love every second of the attention. Then what? Dom would probably see his family to their hotel and go out for more celebrating. Drinking, laughter, staying up all night; all the same things Billy did when he'd received his own degree years before.
Which brought Billy to his next, more upsetting thought. What would Dom be doing next? Not only after the ceremony, but next? After his grades were in and his degree in a frame on the wall, where would he go? Would he stay at Stanford and pursue his law degree there, or would he return to England? The thought tied Billy's stomach in knots, and not for the first time. He'd been torturing himself with this prospect, the idea that it was truly over and, soon, Dom would be across the ocean without ever speaking to Billy again. It was a much more somber notion than the silly little fantasy Billy had concocted, where Dom decided to stay at Stanford. He would run into Billy on campus one day, a little older and just as handsome, and he and Billy would talk, awkwardly at first, but then more comfortably. They'd have some coffee together and Billy would be able to apologize for being such a wanker and…
He was really such an idiot.
It would be better, much better for both of them, if Dom left Stanford. Or the country for that matter. Maybe then Billy would be able to move on, and Dom would be just as Billy hoped, successful and utterly free from the burdens of Billy Boyd.
He must have been more lost in his own world than he thought because, to Billy's surprise, everyone around him was standing and applauding. The graduation ceremony, it seemed, had ended. Billy rose from his seat, clapping politely and looking for the fastest escape from this place. People were starting to gather toward the front, where the new graduates were all standing, hugging and congratulating one another. He couldn't see Dom in the crowd. Wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, Billy made his way toward the end of the green, anxious to get out of the sun and away from all this happiness.
He headed into the nearest building, not quite caring where he went, and ducked into the men's restroom, shivering at the sudden gust of cool air from the air conditioner. All he really wanted to do was splash some cold water on his face to cool off, clear his head, and then he could go back to his apartment and continue to berate himself. It was too bad Stanford didn't offer a Ph.D. in self-criticism, he was getting quite good at that. Billy walked quickly to the nearest sink, ignoring the opening swing of the adjacent stall door.
"Billy."
Billy turned, stunned to hear the sound of Dom's voice saying his name. They stared at each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity before Billy was finally able to respond. "Dom, hi."
Dom looked...amazing, at least to Billy. His face was flushed, cheeks reddened from the sun, and his hair was matted to his forehead from being under his cap, the blond streaks darkened with sweat. He stared blankly at Billy a little bit more before moving to the sink - which Billy was still standing at stupidly, his hands dripping wet - and began to wash his hands. His movement forced Billy to move as well, nervously grabbing too many paper towels from the dispenser and rubbing at his hands. "Congratulations," he croaked out, his voice cracking in the silence of the small room.
Dom looked at him again, this time with a little more emotion. "Why are you here, Billy?" He seemed sad, not at all like the beaming man Billy had seen on the stage earlier, and genuinely confused to see Billy here. And no wonder - they hadn't seen each other or spoken in over a month, and not because Dom hadn't tried.
"I…I don't know," is all he said, mainly because 'To see you' was probably not as good idea. Suddenly, Billy didn't want to see him at all, didn't want to be anywhere near Dom when he couldn't be with him. This had been a terrible idea. "I'm sorry," he said, turning to leave the bathroom.
"Billy, wait."
With a defeated sigh, Billy stopped in mid-motion and turned again to face Dom. "What?" He didn't want to be cold, but Billy just didn't think he could bear anything that Dom could say to him. He had the right to be furious at Billy, probably hated him in fact, and Billy wouldn't blame him for anything he was about to say. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Have dinner with me?" Dom's voice was low and uncertain, almost as uncertain as Billy was at hearing those words. His heart jumped a little and he opened his eyes hesitantly, almost afraid that Dom would be gone. But he was there, rubbing his hand anxiously at the back of his neck, not quite looking at Billy.
"I…really?" Billy shook his head, trying to clear his muddled thoughts. "No, Dom, that's not a good idea, we can't-"
"Shit, Billy, don't do this. Just dinner? Please? I'm going back to Manchester tomorrow."
It was like a punch to the stomach, but a small part of Billy couldn't help but be relieved. Just dinner, then. "All right," he agreed. It would be easier on them both with Dom leaving, he thought. It would be goodbye.
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Just - thank you. ::blissful sigh::
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