The Luckiest Dog Returns

[pecos.livejournal.com]

Greetings Sisters in Slash! For those who've been following Sidi's adventures, I offer:

The Luckiest Dog in the World, Part 8



Title: A Day at the Beach! with Hobbits!
Series: The Luckiest Dog in the World - 7
Author: Pecos – PecosPhil@sprintmail.com
Website: http://www.chimerafic.com
Rating: PG - adult language, innuendo
Feedback: remember the golden rule, (please!)
Disclaimer: I don’t make the toys, I’m
only playing with them. No money made,
nor disrespect intended
Who’s in it?: Orlando Bloom, his Dog, his pals...
Note: Please forgive any intentional or
unintentional abuse of facts and history.
Summary: Sidi’s story continues



A Day at the Beach! with Hobbits!


My Alpha Male and I did not stay in New York for very long and this is probably because they do not seem to know about Doggie Parks!, which I will tell you about later, but for now this is the story of Going to Lost Angeles and the Beach. I’m sure you remember that I used to go to the Beach every single day, even when the sand was too hot to walk on, and I am a Beach Mutt.

There was some time in New York at the Hotel when I got left alone while Orlando had to go make Nice with People, most of whom smelled like cigarette butts from the dirty sidewalk. They probably weren’t very Nice to him because when he came back to me he was wearing the ‘Stop Bugging Me!’ face and his hands were clenched. I had to lick him all over two times before he laughed again and his hands went soft and he touched my tender ears and found the itch on my shoulder. Then I knew he was going to be Okay.

We got into the long shiny black car again and rode all the way back to the hot-oil stink place, which I found out is called ‘airport.’ This seems like a stupid name because air is everywhere that it isn’t water, so every port place is air-port. I think that people really need to think through this naming things business a bit more carefully. When we got out at that place I started being afraid that it would be the Big Box time again, and I wrapped my lead around Orlando’s legs several times and probably whined a bit more than I should have. But the Box was nowhere in sight and Robin Agent Lady with the short skirt was there and she had made for us a place on a smaller big big Car than before.

This was how we got to Ride out of New York. This big big Car was very fancy inside and smelled of leather and plastic and something like fake flowers and the spaces were Okay-sized. There was only a few people on there this time and I met every one of them and they were all Nice to me, with pets and Good Dog! talk and even a Treat when my Alpha wasn’t looking! The Car started driving and was going Really Fast and I had to Lie Down! next to my Alpha’s feet and when I got up I got Told Again, so that was kind of boring. But after a while I could go visiting and then after that there was Food! brought out and I got a few bites and Everything that went on the floor!

I slept for most of that trip once the Food was finished, and I know that a Long Time went by, but the strange thing is that when the big big Car stopped again the day was still pretty much where it had been when we got into the Car. I found this to be Very Odd, and I put my ears all the way up and turned my head this way and that looking at the Sun-in-the-Sky, but I couldn’t understand it. I don’t think that this was another of my Alpha’s miracles because even He doesn’t usually make the Sun move in the Sky. I would have to figure that one out later because something Really! Really! Great! Happened next!

There was a really loud ‘Squeeeee!” sound and someone was running toward us and it was *Nice-smell Lady!* and she had *Fart-smell Dog* with her too! This is MY PACK! They were there in Lost Angeles and they knew that we had come to them and there was So Much Kissing and Licking and Laughing! I nipped Essa (which is what my Alpha calls Fart-smell Dog) and sniffed her butt and crouched down in front like I wanted to Play and she rolled on her back and sniffed me too so we would know where the other one had been.

Essa had been living with Nice-smell Lady (who I should call Kate or Piglet, which is what Orlando says) and they had been to a Park and in some grass and they had eaten spicy food and there was a fake smell there too like Essa had got sprayed with chemicals from a can to make the nasty smells go away. It’s probably because of her farting. She can clear a whole room, and I say this knowing that I am a Dog and I can stand just about anything.

Kate smelled like the Best Thing in the World: like your Dam’s tit and old blankets and a cool breeze, and I was so happy to see her that I forgot myself for a moment and started to hump her leg, which was an unfortunate lapse of manners, but she reminded me nicely and I escaped without being a Bad Dog! -- but just barely. My Alpha said we had to get going because there was going to be a Party, so we walked across hot black hard ground to a Nice Car! which smelled like Kate owned it. This Car was big enough for us Dogs to stand in back and watch the traffic and wag our tails and maybe rough-house a bit. There were two windows, one for each nose of us, and we traded constantly!

Let me say one thing I don’t like about Lost Angeles. There’s no way other than to say that it Stinks, worse than Essa sometimes, and it’s even worse where all the Cars are on the Car paths. I wanted to snort the smell out of my muzzle, but it wouldn’t go away, and Essa told me that it was always like that inside the city. Why do so many people live there when it’s so Nasty? They should take their Cars and go somewhere else so they can breath.

We Rode in the Car for a Long Long time, and my Alpha was talking on the Noisy-box and laughing and Kate said lots of stories about things that had happened since we saw her in the Spain-place. I was getting Really thirsty, and it was Hot in the back of the Car. We went through many places full of people and buildings and sometimes Alpha cussed about the Fucking Traffic, but eventually the spaces got bigger and we were in a place with more room and less Cars.

‘Malibu,’ Kate called it, and I caught a whiff of ocean smell and that was Really Good! We drove around in circles maybe for a while and then found a house that looked Nice and Orlando stopped and let everyone out of the Car and we ran around without leads on and then the door was open and there was a woman there making Happy Squees! and she grabbed my Alpha so tight that I was worried for a moment.

This turned out to be Livvie-Lou, and she was very tall and had shiny long hair and bright eyes and I could smell that she was a bitch with a Pup growing in her, which my Alpha must have known because he petted her tummy and made Happy Talk. She had an Alpha there called Royce, who I would probably name Eyes-dart-around Man, and I think that Livvie-Lou liked my Alpha so much that she would roll over for him if she was in heat and her own Male wasn’t around. Kate smiled really Nice at Liv but I could see from her body that she was going to keep an eye on this other Bitch.

Kate is smart about some things, and not so smart about others.

We went inside the house and there was a Dog there who owned the place and I made Nice Dogs with him even though it was one of those stupid, scheming little rat dogs and I could have snapped it’s neck without even shaking him hard. This Dog was all brushed up silly but thought he looked Really Great and I call him Nose-in-the-air Dog, and he wasn’t worth my time really. Essa growled Dominance over him when no People were looking, and he folded and made himself small, so even my Bitch wasn’t impressed with ribbons and artificial stink.

Liv showed us that she’s a Very Gracious Hostess by putting out bowls of Nice clean cool Water and this made me love her even more. I was just getting ready to explore the rest of the house when my Alpha whistled me to him and went out the door and there was The Beach! right Outside! And even better than just a Beach!, there were People there who all knew my Alpha and it was like a Very Big Deal that we had arrived and my Pack got A LOT Bigger that night!

This was when I learned about Hobbits, who are People who make a lot of noise and push and touch each other a lot and they laugh all the time and drink and are very sloppy. I will tell you about the Hobbits here:

Dominic-quick-fingers has very keen eyes that watch everything and he talks very fast and smells like burning-rope weed and herb chemicals and leather. He petted me and got down to look into my face and he wasn’t making Dominant over me but was being Nice. He watches the other Hobbits closely when they don’t know it, and he looks like he’s maybe lost a Toy! or something and no matter where he checks he can’t find it.

Citrus-smell Billy talks strange. I can’t get hardly any of the words out of his mouth unless he slows down and says something right to me with his eyes. He has soft eyes and lifts his chin when he speaks like he thinks it makes him look bigger. He reminds me of a Cat, but not in all the Bad ways. More like that he is soft to touch but tough underneath and he makes quick comments that People laugh at, so I guess it’s just me who can’t understand him.

Stink-of-burning-weeds is Elijah, who my Alpha also called ‘Doodle’, and he’s got Secrets. He listens carefully to everything and has a very piercing gaze that would make me uncomfortable if I was in trouble with him. He laughs hard and fast and seems to do too much of everything, and his hands don’t often move when he talks but you think they should. He says things and then looks quick to see what other People say with their body language like he can’t always trust their Words.

Elijah was the first one there to discover that I like to have the white hairs between my front legs scratched. I think the white ones are itchier than the black ones. He also called me Sidney, which I thought was maybe a joke I didn’t understand. His fingers smell stronger than the rest of him. Essa zeroed in on Citrus-smell Billy and whored herself totally for belly rubs. I didn’t want to commit to staying in one place for long, but had to run and meet more People.

There was a Family there who might be Hobbits, and the Alpha’s name is Sean. He had a very Nice smiling face but he sometimes got a very serious look like he was Making Plans. His Human Puppy was Covered with Food remains and I spent some time licking her face and cleaning her up, which was Nice of me I think. The other Puppy was too small to bother with because People don’t like it when I’m bigger than their Pup.

Then there was a Man there who was Way Too Big to be a Hobbit, and he was dark like me, and he smelled like something from the ocean (but nice) and his voice was low and pleasant. I ran over to meet him and he Picked me Up like I was a Toy! and held me so I could look into his eyes and smell his breath (sweet and maybe meat!) and he laughed at the Panic! look I gave him from being Picked Up and I knew that even though this guy should be the biggest Alpha on the Beach and boss everyone around he’s really a Nice Guy!

He set me down very gently and I didn’t think I had to Run Away from him and he spoke Nice Words to me. Then he got a stick and I Knew what to do with That when he Threw it! I ran and got the stick for him again and he said I was a Good Dog! and Kate came over and said “Hello Lawrence!”, so I guess that’s his name.

The Lawrence part, not the Hello part.

There was a Lot of Playing on the Beach as the evening went on. The Sun was going down behind the water, so there was nothing wrong with the Sun from earlier, despite what I had thought was going on. My Alpha went into the water with a long shiny piece of stinky wood and the Hobbits did too and they played out beyond the Beach! I went into the water after them but I couldn’t swim well enough to catch them and Kate called me back to the sand, so I played there with the other People and chased the seagulls. You Have to chase seagulls...it’s like a Rule.

There was a plate that flew through the air and Essa had learned a Trick! to run after it and bring it back like it was a stick being thrown away. This sounds like a Stupid Trick, but the Humans LOVED it and then even chased it themselves, so there had to be something to it. I watched for a while and Essa was getting Good Dog!-ed for the Trick so I tried it too and I caught the flying plate right out of the air because it flies pretty slow, slower than a pigeon. I ran down the Beach with the plate and there were Yells and Cheering, so then I turned around and brought it back like it was important and that was the Game. So I played that with anybody who wanted to throw things away.

Then there was Food on the patio near Livvie-Lou’s Den and it was a LOT of Food! With that much Food and Drinking and Hobbits you know there is going to be Treats! for Good Dogs, and lots of mistakes and I ate until I got sick. I snuck off to a quiet part of the sand and Barfed. I think I ate some plastic that was wrapped around something Good. After I Barfed I felt Great again and could eat even More Food! I spent some time sitting with Dominic Hobbit who was drinking Beer and watching one of the other Hobbit People and he told me some of his secrets in a whispery voice that made me want to shut my eyes and rest my head on his leg. He rubbed my ears, being very Careful because they’re Sensitive.

It had got Dark by then and there was a Fire started. I know all about staying away from Fires, so I just stuck around where the Food was and ran into the water a few times more just because I could. I shook my coat out next to Kate and she Yelled at me, which wasn’t very Nice because I didn’t Mean to get her Wet. I went down to the edge of the waves and there were little things running on the wet sand there.

I think these were moving-rocks, and I remembered them from the Beach where I grew up. They’re not very good to Eat, and they can pinch your nose, but I had to try to catch them anyhow because they were Moving! I chased them for a while and they would go into the sand and disappear, so I had to dig to try to find the moving-rocks, and I guess that I got really into digging this one hole because I was in it up to my shoulders when I heard someone come over to me and speak.

“Hi ya, Sport,” said a familiar voice, and I jumped back to find that it Really Was Chemical-smell Man – Viggo! I made like a Crazy Dog! and Jumped All Over Him because he’s in our Pack! He was Happy to see me Too! He was laughing and trying to stop me from licking his face all over and he fell back into the sand because of my hole and I think he got his butt wet, but he didn’t Yell at me. I told you already, he’s a Nice Guy!

That was when my Alpha came over too, looking back at the porch like he was seeing if anyone had come behind him. He whispered quick words to Viggo even as he came to him, and then they were holding each other and they touched mouths, but not for just a moment like most people do with each other. They petted each other on the head and stared into eyes. It was good to see them with each other again, and I Barked! a Happy Bark! The two pulled apart then, and I got a Dirty Look even in the dark. But I have no idea what I did wrong.

We went back to the rest of the Pack and the Night on the Beach went on for a Long Time after that too! But mostly I was asleep in a nest in the sand until it was time to go Home.

I got a tummy-ache and Barfed in the Car.

I’m very Sorry about that.