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fellowshippers2004-09-02 09:53 pm
glass-moment.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-09-02 09:53 pm
(no subject)
Metaphor
Very faint Billy/Dom
"This boat moves through the lake as quietly and smoothly as a giant sasquatch lumbering through the forest," pronounces Dom. The hobbits, crammed in the back of the boat, applaud. Dave turns around and glaes.
"Isn't there a rule that your metaphors can't insult people who are being so kind as to let you take advantage of their boat driving skills?"
"No, the rule is that metaphors are worth more if they make fun of smeone. Quadruple if it's you, actually."
There had been no such rule a second before.
"Dave!" The warning is too late. Just as he turns guiltily back to the wheel, they hit anohter boat's wake head on, bucking up and down. Everyone turns. Sure enough, Orlando falls, flailing spectacularly. He surfaces a moment later, spluttering and shouting his enthusiasm.
"Did you see that? Did you see that? It was incredible! Did you see the air I got on that last one?"
"Oi, Orlando! Your ski's floating away!"
They watch with amusement as he swears and flouders after it. Elijah's turn.
"I'm going to describe that cloud up there...the sort of squarish one with the dark patches? See it? Yeah. So, those two higher patches are eyes, and the sort of blob below them is the mouth...sort of sinister looking, isn't it? Anyway, that's the great sentient toaster in the sky that's going to come down and devour the earth in year 2007 if we don't stop polluting it's home."
Long moments pass with no sound but the roaring of the motor and Orlando's distant hollering. Finally, Dom speaks.
"Was that even a metaphor?"
"Of course it was!"
"No, I don't think so."
"That might just disqualify you, you know."
"What?"
Billy breaks into he conversation, speaking for the first time in a while.
"Hey, wait! It's my turn, and I've got one."
"Well then, let's hear it."
"You've gottan come over to the edge here so you can see the wake...yeah, that bit there, but the side of the boat. The clear part, that's all bubble? I wish I could compare it to glass or crystal or something, but really, it looks juust like the plastic rings the put around six-packs...it's like we're seeing afactory where they're made, a conveyor belt, how they appear and leap up there and then disappear like down to another floor. The frothy bit that makes up most of it is mouthwash, obviously. You can see how it bubbles away at the end...up here by the boat it's gargling. That's what the roaring noise is, you know. And that small bit, right next to the side, the sort of silver and gray with the blue shocks from underneath? That's the tails fo the five unicorns of the queen water sprite, streaming behind them as they carry her out of her royal chambers and into the sea for the day."
Billy sits back, pleased with himself. The others stare.
"Oh my god, Billy," says Elijah.
"Amazing," Dom agrees.
"Poetic," adds Sean.
Billy watches Orlando overbalance once again and thinks that if he had been feeling poetic, he would have compared the shining silvergrayblue water to Dom's eyes.
Very faint Billy/Dom
"This boat moves through the lake as quietly and smoothly as a giant sasquatch lumbering through the forest," pronounces Dom. The hobbits, crammed in the back of the boat, applaud. Dave turns around and glaes.
"Isn't there a rule that your metaphors can't insult people who are being so kind as to let you take advantage of their boat driving skills?"
"No, the rule is that metaphors are worth more if they make fun of smeone. Quadruple if it's you, actually."
There had been no such rule a second before.
"Dave!" The warning is too late. Just as he turns guiltily back to the wheel, they hit anohter boat's wake head on, bucking up and down. Everyone turns. Sure enough, Orlando falls, flailing spectacularly. He surfaces a moment later, spluttering and shouting his enthusiasm.
"Did you see that? Did you see that? It was incredible! Did you see the air I got on that last one?"
"Oi, Orlando! Your ski's floating away!"
They watch with amusement as he swears and flouders after it. Elijah's turn.
"I'm going to describe that cloud up there...the sort of squarish one with the dark patches? See it? Yeah. So, those two higher patches are eyes, and the sort of blob below them is the mouth...sort of sinister looking, isn't it? Anyway, that's the great sentient toaster in the sky that's going to come down and devour the earth in year 2007 if we don't stop polluting it's home."
Long moments pass with no sound but the roaring of the motor and Orlando's distant hollering. Finally, Dom speaks.
"Was that even a metaphor?"
"Of course it was!"
"No, I don't think so."
"That might just disqualify you, you know."
"What?"
Billy breaks into he conversation, speaking for the first time in a while.
"Hey, wait! It's my turn, and I've got one."
"Well then, let's hear it."
"You've gottan come over to the edge here so you can see the wake...yeah, that bit there, but the side of the boat. The clear part, that's all bubble? I wish I could compare it to glass or crystal or something, but really, it looks juust like the plastic rings the put around six-packs...it's like we're seeing afactory where they're made, a conveyor belt, how they appear and leap up there and then disappear like down to another floor. The frothy bit that makes up most of it is mouthwash, obviously. You can see how it bubbles away at the end...up here by the boat it's gargling. That's what the roaring noise is, you know. And that small bit, right next to the side, the sort of silver and gray with the blue shocks from underneath? That's the tails fo the five unicorns of the queen water sprite, streaming behind them as they carry her out of her royal chambers and into the sea for the day."
Billy sits back, pleased with himself. The others stare.
"Oh my god, Billy," says Elijah.
"Amazing," Dom agrees.
"Poetic," adds Sean.
Billy watches Orlando overbalance once again and thinks that if he had been feeling poetic, he would have compared the shining silvergrayblue water to Dom's eyes.