(no subject)

[freethegayboys.livejournal.com]

Um... this is my very first post here, and unfortunately it's not my best work. I have done much else as well, but this is a little one I did just a few minutes ago. I hope you... read it.

Title: Lonely (1/1)
Disclaimer: This is all fiction... none of what I write is even remotely true. I don't write this for profit, and I don't own the people I wirte about. Please note that if you're reading this story you understand that it is fiction.
Summary: Dom thinks back. Billy turns up in the rain.
Rating: R.
Notes/Warnings: Depressing. I won't give away what kind of story it is, so if certain things squick you, then don't read this. It's not violent, gross or anything like that. No bdsm, and no "excessive" swearing. It's still R though, so work that out. I wrote it listening to Into the West, and that song makes me cry... just so you know.
Archive: Feel free to post this anywhere, just LET ME KNOW. You can find this story and more at ivoryfields Cross posted at a few places... I don't know how to list, sorry the swamping.
Feedback: I live and breathe feedback. PLEASE: if you read it, give feedback, even if you don't like it.

 

I’m going to do it again, like I do every night.

 

It’s going to happen. Always does.

 

I sit here, whiling away the hours, waiting for him to come back to me. He doesn’t. Too busy.

 

I trawl the internet, looking for some kind of consolation prize. Something to take away the emptiness that fills me. The emptiness that I remember he used to fill in me.

 

No.

 

He still fills it in me. He’s just away at the moment. I know this. He knows this. Nothing is happening that is out of the ordinary. I just miss him so much.

 So, so much.

 

He filled an aching void in me that I had never filled before. I’d tried to fill myself with everything I could think of. Then he showed up.

 

Then he showed up.

 

Then he showed up and suddenly I was complete.

 

It’s not that I plan to. I don’t plan to sit here in front of the computer, jacking off to the memories of him. I don’t plan that. It’s just that… after all the meaningless searching and searching and searching, he is all I come back to.

 

Not even the stories I found can get me off anymore… and they used to, so well. I remember finding so many, and loving every one of them. Reading until my eyes blurred and my hands cramped over the mouse. And the orgasm that followed! Such fucking amazing orgasms…

 

They don’t even work any more. After all that time. All I come back to is the real memories of him. The things that made us laugh and smile.

 

I know he’s only gone for a couple of weeks at a time, but that doesn’t change anything. I don’t want him to go. I want him to stay… I want him with me. I want to wrap my arms around him, squeezing him into me. I want to hold him so he can’t get away. I want to prove that I love him, in only the gentlest touch, and the sweetest kiss… and I can’t do that over the phone.

 

We used to have such fun. We used to have such fun times. We used to run around naked. We used to dance and laugh. We used to do everything… We’ll do it all again as soon as he comes home I just hate waiting. I get so lonely.

 

He’ll be home tomorrow, a small comfort, because I want him here now.

 

~~*~~

 

Dom cleans himself up, and pulls on some trousers as he walks to the ringing doorbell, hoping it’s someone who’ll understand his lack of dress. He gets to the door, tying the knot in his pants, and opens the door.

 

Billy stands framed in the doorway, a heavy rain falling on him.

“Billy?!? What the fuck? What are you doing here?”

 

Billy looks up from the ground, his eyes are red rimmed and puffy. There are tears mixing with the rain as they slide down his face. His short hair sticks to his head, and raindrops catch on his eyelashes and send the light of the house sparkling over him.

 

“Dom.” Billy voice is dry and throaty. His tears linger in his voice, as they do in his body. Dom knows something is not right.

“Billy, what… what’s going on? Why are you here now?”

 

“Dom, I don’t know what to say. Maybe you should sit down.” They walk slowly to the living room, Dom glancing at him over his shoulder, watching as Billy tried to compose himself. They sat.

 

Billy looked up at him, and felt as his voice tightened, constricting his voice. He couldn’t speak.

“Billy…?”

“Dom. I’m so sorry…” Billy’s voice caught again, and Dom watched, slowly feeling the nervous heat rise to his face. Billy’s eyes clouded slightly, and more tears began to run slowly down his face.

“Dom. It’s Elijah.” His voice caught on the tears again, and he swallowed hard as he prepared himself to continue. Dom began to feel the tears rise in his own throat, watching Billy struggle as he tried to speak. Dom chocked as he tried to respond.

“What happened?”

“Dommie, I’m so sorry.” Billy leant forward and rested his hand lightly on Dom’s knee.

 

 

“There was a crash…”