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ladymoonray.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fellowshippers2003-02-21 04:08 pm
ladymoonray.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2003-02-21 04:08 pm
Fic: New Beginnings Part 4. Viggo/Sean B rated R this part
Title: New Beginnings Part 4
Author email: ladymoonray@yahoo.com
Pairing: Sean B/Viggo
Rating: R
Feedback: Please
Summary: Sean remembers.
Disclaimer: I made it up
Archiving: BTF and my site only please.
Notes: This part was very difficult to write. I owe many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
viva_gloria for all the help, for being a wonderful beta, and for making my website.
You can read the first three parts of this fic here.
New Beginnings 4
Sean woke late the next morning, still a little surprised to find himself wrapped in tanned arms. That was definitely something he could get used to. He decided against moving. It was all too comfortable and warm, and he could hear rain and wind battering the windows. Even his stark, modern flat felt like a refuge from winter in London.
Sean’s bed, right at that moment, should have been the best possible refuge from the world. But it wasn’t. There was a problem in it, and today it would have to be sorted.
Viggo.
Even as Sean wanted to wriggle closer, wrap himself in this new, caring, comfort, his body and mind were slipping back. Back to a time when Viggo’s name would make him sick with want, but also with a deep sense of discomfort, and even a touch of fear.
Their months out of time in New Zealand seemed like a skewed, sick dream. Making the film had been almost incidental to Sean, despite being his reason for meeting Viggo in the first place. The long days on set and location were just the backdrop.
Sean could still remember the first time he saw Viggo. He was standing on a box with costume assistants fussing around him. But Viggo hardly seemed to notice them. He was so serene it was almost unreal. He was just standing there. Being Aragorn.
Sean had stopped in his tracks, and just stared. Viggo had felt it, looked up and smiled. It was that first smile that did it. Their eyes locked, and Sean just wanted to kneel before him right then. As Sean Bean, not Boromir.
Of course there hadn't been any kneeling at that first meeting. One of the assistants stuck a pin in Viggo's shoulder, making him swear and fall right out of character. Sean was quite relieved about that. The man was human after all.
They agreed to meet for a drink later. Somewhere with fewer people (and pins) to interrupt them. Meeting for a drink turned into hours in a pub, and a bottle of whisky consumed on Sean's sofa - which was really too small to accommodate both of them.
There was never any question about it. Sean and Viggo just *were.* It was what they were that wasn’t so clear, but they didn’t let it bother them. Every spare second was spent together. Sure, it had been a bit awkward for Sean getting over the guy thing. But it didn’t bother Viggo one bit.
Viggo had maintained an amused smile throughout that first evening. Or at least he had until Sean stopped panicking, and leaned forward to lick it off.
Later that night, and many nights after that, Sean had his chance to kneel before Viggo.
Sean moved the covers off restlessly. He was obviously not going back to sleep, however much he wished to. He gently disentangled himself from Viggo, and went to sit on the floor by the window. He stared out through the streaming rain.
Sean physically flinched as the memories returned. He'd been shutting these thoughts out, trying to drown himself in Macbeth so he'd forget. But there was no forgetting anything with Viggo asleep in his bed.
They'd spent every spare moment together. Every moment from a few seconds between takes, to their few, sacred days off. Looking back, it was quite difficult for Sean to remember what exactly they'd done with that time. Apart from the sex. There was a lot of that. Sex and driving. He wasn't all that clear about where it was they'd been driving to (or from), but he remembered a lot of time watching Viggo at the wheel.
Unfortunately, thinking of Viggo driving reminded Sean of the ever-present knot in his stomach. It had appeared the first time they fought, slowly worsened, and had been around ever since. Sure, it hadn't been so bad lately. But now it was back, with a vengeance.
Sean couldn’t really remember when it had all started to go wrong. He knew there were little things. Viggo would tease him about Boromir, about being led astray, and succumbing to evil. It was never as light-hearted as it should have been. Sean made an effort to laugh it off, but inside he was stung. Boromir wasn’t evil. He was just a little bit weak. Wasn’t he?
Things progressed. Viggo would tease him for being so straightforward, so down to earth. Sean cared about the latest football results, and who was driving back from the pub. Of course he did. But Viggo always made that seem trivial and wrong.
Sean tried to put a stop to it. He lost his temper once, and told Viggo not to be such a shit. Viggo had punched him in the face, and stormed out. They hadn’t spoken for a week. It was absolute fucking hell for Sean, and after six days he’d gone round to apologise. After that Sean never, ever, complained. These were his months out of time, and he needed Viggo to make them right. He wouldn’t dream of jeopardising that again.
The months passed, and they both knew that Sean’s time on set was coming to an end. Boromir had died rather early on in the filming schedule, but he was really was dying for them then.
Against all common sense, Viggo became more and more unpleasant towards Sean. He'd use play fighting to disguise painful blows. He’d pick at everything. Everything from
Sean’s cooking, to the amount of time he spent on the telephone with his family. Viggo was allowed weeks at a time in Henry’s company (during which he ignored Sean completely), but Sean couldn’t have five minutes talking to his daughters on the phone.
Eventually his last day arrived. Sean woke early, and was determined to talk some sense into Viggo. Really talk.
But Viggo just drove him to the airport in silence.
“See you sometime, then,” he said, and turned away.
Sean was devastated. Returning to London, he cast about for something to take his mind off the way he missed Viggo. Macbeth didn’t really help, but it was a good idea and seemed destined to succeed. The planning took far too long, as these things always did. But Sean was really just marking time until he could see Viggo again.
The bastard didn’t even call before the first premiere. He just came to collect Sean at the end of the evening, assuming they’d be sleeping together. Of course Sean went along.
They still didn’t talk. The sex was mind-blowing; Viggo even acted as if he’d missed his lover. A little bit, anyway. But they parted next morning with another casual “See ya.”
Sean put up with it several more times. Just to feel that body, feel so right. And so wrong.
The crunch came one night in some anonymous city, another hotel room. Viggo was in the bathroom, and Sean was on the phone with Abby. It wasn’t a big crisis, but a little problem with the finances that needed sorting. Viggo emerged from the bathroom, barefoot and with his shirt untucked. Sean looked up, and thought how sexy this man was. But Viggo was leaning against the doorframe glowering at him. It was an attractive look, but never good news.
Sean turned away from him. His presence was too distracting. Another five minutes or so, and he was finished. He’d felt eyes burning into his back the whole time, but he was determined not to end the call without finalising things.
He took a deep breath and turned round to face Viggo. And tried to duck, but he wasn’t fast enough. Christ, the man was quick. Viggo had launched himself at Sean, aiming for his face. Sean did manage to turn away and avoid the blow, but he took the full weight of Viggo’s body and landed awkwardly on his back on the bed.
He struggled to get hold of Viggo’s wrists, but never really had a hope of controlling him. They were too evenly matched. They fought in absolute silence for about five minutes.
It ended with Viggo on top of Sean, trying to force him to concede. It wasn’t so much that Viggo won; it was more that Sean gave up the fight. Viggo leaned down until Sean could feel his breath, hot on his face.
“That's the last time you’ll ignore me Sean, even for one minute. You’ll never get the chance to do it again.” The knot in Sean’s stomach tightened, but he nodded miserably.
Viggo undressed him roughly, and pushed him over onto his stomach. The fucking was rough, even painful, and Sean sincerely wished he was somewhere else. At least Viggo was quick. Sean didn’t even think about trying to touch himself, or getting Viggo to do it. He didn’t feel sexy in the least. He just wanted it all to be over.
When he'd finished, Viggo stood up and dressed quickly. He picked up his bag, and opened the door, and then stopped and looked back for a moment.
“That’s it then, Sean. All over. I hope it was worth it.”
He closed the door with unnecessary force, leaving Sean collapsed naked on the bed. He hadn’t moved for over an hour.
Sean was getting cold, sitting by the window. He shook himself out of the hateful memory. He’d spent the past few months trying to bury it, but the person in his bed had brought it all back. His stomach was twisting again. He tried to focus on the “new” Viggo, who certainly seemed a lot nicer. But it was all too confusing.
Sean stood up and wandered back to the bed. He really didn't want to face Viggo yet, so he climbed back under the covers. Perhaps he could get some more sleep first.
Author email: ladymoonray@yahoo.com
Pairing: Sean B/Viggo
Rating: R
Feedback: Please
Summary: Sean remembers.
Disclaimer: I made it up
Archiving: BTF and my site only please.
Notes: This part was very difficult to write. I owe many thanks to
viva_gloria for all the help, for being a wonderful beta, and for making my website. You can read the first three parts of this fic here.
New Beginnings 4
Sean woke late the next morning, still a little surprised to find himself wrapped in tanned arms. That was definitely something he could get used to. He decided against moving. It was all too comfortable and warm, and he could hear rain and wind battering the windows. Even his stark, modern flat felt like a refuge from winter in London.
Sean’s bed, right at that moment, should have been the best possible refuge from the world. But it wasn’t. There was a problem in it, and today it would have to be sorted.
Viggo.
Even as Sean wanted to wriggle closer, wrap himself in this new, caring, comfort, his body and mind were slipping back. Back to a time when Viggo’s name would make him sick with want, but also with a deep sense of discomfort, and even a touch of fear.
Their months out of time in New Zealand seemed like a skewed, sick dream. Making the film had been almost incidental to Sean, despite being his reason for meeting Viggo in the first place. The long days on set and location were just the backdrop.
Sean could still remember the first time he saw Viggo. He was standing on a box with costume assistants fussing around him. But Viggo hardly seemed to notice them. He was so serene it was almost unreal. He was just standing there. Being Aragorn.
Sean had stopped in his tracks, and just stared. Viggo had felt it, looked up and smiled. It was that first smile that did it. Their eyes locked, and Sean just wanted to kneel before him right then. As Sean Bean, not Boromir.
Of course there hadn't been any kneeling at that first meeting. One of the assistants stuck a pin in Viggo's shoulder, making him swear and fall right out of character. Sean was quite relieved about that. The man was human after all.
They agreed to meet for a drink later. Somewhere with fewer people (and pins) to interrupt them. Meeting for a drink turned into hours in a pub, and a bottle of whisky consumed on Sean's sofa - which was really too small to accommodate both of them.
There was never any question about it. Sean and Viggo just *were.* It was what they were that wasn’t so clear, but they didn’t let it bother them. Every spare second was spent together. Sure, it had been a bit awkward for Sean getting over the guy thing. But it didn’t bother Viggo one bit.
Viggo had maintained an amused smile throughout that first evening. Or at least he had until Sean stopped panicking, and leaned forward to lick it off.
Later that night, and many nights after that, Sean had his chance to kneel before Viggo.
Sean moved the covers off restlessly. He was obviously not going back to sleep, however much he wished to. He gently disentangled himself from Viggo, and went to sit on the floor by the window. He stared out through the streaming rain.
Sean physically flinched as the memories returned. He'd been shutting these thoughts out, trying to drown himself in Macbeth so he'd forget. But there was no forgetting anything with Viggo asleep in his bed.
They'd spent every spare moment together. Every moment from a few seconds between takes, to their few, sacred days off. Looking back, it was quite difficult for Sean to remember what exactly they'd done with that time. Apart from the sex. There was a lot of that. Sex and driving. He wasn't all that clear about where it was they'd been driving to (or from), but he remembered a lot of time watching Viggo at the wheel.
Unfortunately, thinking of Viggo driving reminded Sean of the ever-present knot in his stomach. It had appeared the first time they fought, slowly worsened, and had been around ever since. Sure, it hadn't been so bad lately. But now it was back, with a vengeance.
Sean couldn’t really remember when it had all started to go wrong. He knew there were little things. Viggo would tease him about Boromir, about being led astray, and succumbing to evil. It was never as light-hearted as it should have been. Sean made an effort to laugh it off, but inside he was stung. Boromir wasn’t evil. He was just a little bit weak. Wasn’t he?
Things progressed. Viggo would tease him for being so straightforward, so down to earth. Sean cared about the latest football results, and who was driving back from the pub. Of course he did. But Viggo always made that seem trivial and wrong.
Sean tried to put a stop to it. He lost his temper once, and told Viggo not to be such a shit. Viggo had punched him in the face, and stormed out. They hadn’t spoken for a week. It was absolute fucking hell for Sean, and after six days he’d gone round to apologise. After that Sean never, ever, complained. These were his months out of time, and he needed Viggo to make them right. He wouldn’t dream of jeopardising that again.
The months passed, and they both knew that Sean’s time on set was coming to an end. Boromir had died rather early on in the filming schedule, but he was really was dying for them then.
Against all common sense, Viggo became more and more unpleasant towards Sean. He'd use play fighting to disguise painful blows. He’d pick at everything. Everything from
Sean’s cooking, to the amount of time he spent on the telephone with his family. Viggo was allowed weeks at a time in Henry’s company (during which he ignored Sean completely), but Sean couldn’t have five minutes talking to his daughters on the phone.
Eventually his last day arrived. Sean woke early, and was determined to talk some sense into Viggo. Really talk.
But Viggo just drove him to the airport in silence.
“See you sometime, then,” he said, and turned away.
Sean was devastated. Returning to London, he cast about for something to take his mind off the way he missed Viggo. Macbeth didn’t really help, but it was a good idea and seemed destined to succeed. The planning took far too long, as these things always did. But Sean was really just marking time until he could see Viggo again.
The bastard didn’t even call before the first premiere. He just came to collect Sean at the end of the evening, assuming they’d be sleeping together. Of course Sean went along.
They still didn’t talk. The sex was mind-blowing; Viggo even acted as if he’d missed his lover. A little bit, anyway. But they parted next morning with another casual “See ya.”
Sean put up with it several more times. Just to feel that body, feel so right. And so wrong.
The crunch came one night in some anonymous city, another hotel room. Viggo was in the bathroom, and Sean was on the phone with Abby. It wasn’t a big crisis, but a little problem with the finances that needed sorting. Viggo emerged from the bathroom, barefoot and with his shirt untucked. Sean looked up, and thought how sexy this man was. But Viggo was leaning against the doorframe glowering at him. It was an attractive look, but never good news.
Sean turned away from him. His presence was too distracting. Another five minutes or so, and he was finished. He’d felt eyes burning into his back the whole time, but he was determined not to end the call without finalising things.
He took a deep breath and turned round to face Viggo. And tried to duck, but he wasn’t fast enough. Christ, the man was quick. Viggo had launched himself at Sean, aiming for his face. Sean did manage to turn away and avoid the blow, but he took the full weight of Viggo’s body and landed awkwardly on his back on the bed.
He struggled to get hold of Viggo’s wrists, but never really had a hope of controlling him. They were too evenly matched. They fought in absolute silence for about five minutes.
It ended with Viggo on top of Sean, trying to force him to concede. It wasn’t so much that Viggo won; it was more that Sean gave up the fight. Viggo leaned down until Sean could feel his breath, hot on his face.
“That's the last time you’ll ignore me Sean, even for one minute. You’ll never get the chance to do it again.” The knot in Sean’s stomach tightened, but he nodded miserably.
Viggo undressed him roughly, and pushed him over onto his stomach. The fucking was rough, even painful, and Sean sincerely wished he was somewhere else. At least Viggo was quick. Sean didn’t even think about trying to touch himself, or getting Viggo to do it. He didn’t feel sexy in the least. He just wanted it all to be over.
When he'd finished, Viggo stood up and dressed quickly. He picked up his bag, and opened the door, and then stopped and looked back for a moment.
“That’s it then, Sean. All over. I hope it was worth it.”
He closed the door with unnecessary force, leaving Sean collapsed naked on the bed. He hadn’t moved for over an hour.
Sean was getting cold, sitting by the window. He shook himself out of the hateful memory. He’d spent the past few months trying to bury it, but the person in his bed had brought it all back. His stomach was twisting again. He tried to focus on the “new” Viggo, who certainly seemed a lot nicer. But it was all too confusing.
Sean stood up and wandered back to the bed. He really didn't want to face Viggo yet, so he climbed back under the covers. Perhaps he could get some more sleep first.