ext_46011 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
thepsychicclam.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fellowshippers2004-08-05 11:46 pm
thepsychicclam.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-08-05 11:46 pm
(no subject)
Title: July
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thepsychicclam
Pairing: Elijah/Dom
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Elijah hates endings.
Disclaimer: I made it up.
A/N: Thanks as always to my wonderful beta,impasto.
Elijah always hated the month of July. When he was a kid, July meant that summer was almost over. Sure, there were almost two months left, but after July came August and then Hannah and his friends would go back to school and he would be left alone. Not that he had many friends, it was mainly Hannah, but he still hated being alone. With Hannah home for the summer, he had someone to talk to, always had an Indian when he played Cowboys and Indians, and a lookout when he snuck cookies out into the tree house to watch the fireflies. And Hannah had friends from school, boys and girls whose moms would drop them off so they could play with Hannah, and that meant playing with Elijah. Elijah liked all Hannah’s friends, missed them when they didn’t come around because they saw Hannah in school. And Hannah had homework and bedtimes and school plays that kept her busy. Most of all he missed having an Indian.
July wasn’t summer in New Zealand but winter, like January back in the States, the month where it was cold, dreary, and grey. It didn’t help Elijah’s outlook on July any, just solidified his assumption that July is quite possibly the worst month no matter where on the globe he was.
If Elijah was honest with himself, he would admit that July was a perfectly fine month, but it was the ending of things that he hated. Not even the ending itself, just the promise of ending. Like an automatic countdown of life that started on July first and ticked on until the days grew shorter and the temperature dropped and the eternal freedom of summer disappeared. July meant loneliness.
He didn’t tell anyone this. Not Hannah, his mom, his grandfather, and now not even the hobbits. The guys would have laughed at him if he did, even though he never laughed at them. Elijah didn’t laugh when Billy said that he couldn’t spend any major holiday away from Maggie or when Dom said that he believed in all religions or when Sean said that he got nervous when he walked in front of crowds even though he’d been acting all his life. Elijah didn’t laugh at this, but he knew they’d laugh at him.
The hobbits always laughed at Elijah. It must have come with the territory of being the youngest, or maybe even being the so-called star hobbit. Whatever it was, it made life just a little more difficult for him. Of course, he never let the others know it. Elijah laughed along when they laughed at his eyes and pale skin. Kept telling them about new bands he heard about on his mailing list from the indie radio stations back home when they ignored him. Rambled on despite their harsh criticism on his confused views on politics. Truth was he didn’t have the time or the interest to follow politics but didn’t want to be left out when they all started debating.
But Elijah hated July and kept it a secret. At night when he couldn’t sleep, he smoked cigarette after cigarette while sweating in an apartment with a broken air conditioner and wondered what the hobbits kept from him. It was absurd, but it passed the time.
Elijah had another secret – he was in love with Dom. He knew that if anyone watched him closely it wouldn’t be a secret very long. Every time Dom was around, he felt disoriented. He didn’t hear people right, had to get them to repeat things multiple times, mouth felt loose like his words wouldn’t form right, thighs felt like lead. It made doing normal everyday things difficult since he spent most of his time with Dom.
They had their usual hobbit training and filming, and it always seemed Dom was where Elijah was. Elijah would take a cigarette out for a quick smoke before the next take, ducking out of view before he got a lecture from PJ about smoking in costume, and Dom would be right there, scratching at his uncomfortable Merry wig. During sword training, Dom was right there, always pairing up with Elijah instead of Sean or Billy.
But Elijah was the one who followed Dom to the first club, out to the pub for drinks until he couldn’t walk straight, curled on Dom’s couch nursing his very first on-set hangover at three-thirty a.m. when they had to be in feet at five. Elijah can’t remember whose idea it was to spend the night in Dom’s bed for the first time; they both had woken up still drunk and just laughed until their heads started pounding.
Eating became hard because the food on the fork never seemed to make it to his mouth. At dinner, they’d discuss the day’s filming or a movie everyone wanted to go see, and Elijah’s fork wouldn’t quite make it into his mouth. Grease or marinara sauce would end up on the front of his shirt, and the rest of the night he’d carry around part of his dinner. And it was all because of Dom.
Elijah thought this year may be different, since July was cold instead of hot, only a handful of people were American and celebrated Independence Day, and there was no school for anyone to disappear to. Technically there was no end. But Elijah still found himself shut up in his apartment in his free time, trying to shake his mid-summer depression.
He told everyone he wasn’t feeling well when they asked him to go out with them. A stack of movies sat beside the television, the refrigerator was stocked with food and beer, and he had enough cigarettes to last him at least the night.
The countdown was started. Elijah hid every calendar, stuffed them into drawers and onto empty bookshelves. But it didn’t matter – Elijah knew the days were slipping away. The first half of the filming in New Zealand was over. All that remained was the countdown until the end, the day they left and only had reshoots to look forward to. There was still plenty of time, but all Elijah could see was an ending.
This time it wouldn’t just be Hannah going back to school and the end of yet another summer. Everyone would leave and Elijah would be alone yet again, left only with the hollow echoes of warm nights and laughter.
Grabbing his pack of cigarettes, Elijah stepped out onto his small deck. The air was cold, his bare feet chilling against the wooden floor. Elbows against the railing, he inhaled deeply and blew wisps of smoke against the bright New Zealand stars. Winter always did have the brightest stars.
“Care if I join you?” Elijah looked out into the darkness towards the voice. He knew it, could distinguish Dom’s voice anywhere. Finally Dom stepped into the dim light cast out from inside the house. Without waiting for an answer, he joined Elijah on the small patio.
Elijah offered Dom a cigarette, but he declined. Elijah lit another one.
“Good weather for thinking,” Dom said, motioning around the darkness. “Even if it is bloody cold. I’m not sure I can feel my nose.”
“We can go inside.” Elijah turned, but Dom laid a hand on his arm. Elijah leaned against the railing again, orange cinders falling from the tip of his cigarette.
“I think it’s finally hit me,” Dom said quietly. Elijah glanced at him out of the corner of his eye but remained silent. “What we’re doing. It’s something big, Elijah. And it’s just beginning.” Dom laughed, deep and full. Elijah sucked thoughtfully on his cigarette.
“How is it just beginning? It’ll be over soon. I mean, we’re half done.” Elijah crushed the cigarette beside the other, his own line of cigarette butts forming. He pulled out another and lit it, the flame from his Zippo bright against the night.
“I don’t think so. I’ve only known you a few months, but I see you in my life forever. How can that be almost over unless I’m going to die within a year?” Dom turned his head slowly, eyes studying Elijah’s face closely. “How can you think like that? You’re so young.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.” Elijah sighed, thumped ashes from his burning clove. “I wish I saw things like you.”
“But you see things like you.” Dom extended a few fingers and hooked them around Elijah’s. “I don’t think that’s so bad.”
Elijah slipped his fingers through Dom’s, felt the warmth of Dom’s palm against his freezing hand. They stood in silence, Elijah smoking and Dom rubbing his thumb softly against the back of Elijah’s hand.
“My neighborhood used to put on a fireworks display on Independence Day at the park baseball field. People would camp out early in the evening, some coming out as early as four p.m., all waiting around for this show. Mom used to carry me and Hannah. Sometimes we’d have a friend, but my favorite times were the ones with just us three.” Elijah paused, took a drag from his cigarette, and continued. “We always got there around seven or eight. Mom brought a blanket and she’d spread it on the ground, and we’d lie there and talk until it was dark enough for them to start. The fireworks weren’t all that impressive. They were bright and loud, but compared to some of the ones I’ve seen in cities and on TV, they were nothing. But we looked forward to them all year.”
“Think you’ll miss them this year?” Dom asked softly. Elijah shook his head.
“I won’t miss the fireworks. Lying on my back like that, I used to think about the past year, all the way back to the last display I had seen. What was different, what movies I had done, friends I had made, girls and boys I had kissed. A lot of people do that kind of thing on New Year’s, but I always did it on July fourth. It was like that was my beginning and ending.”
“Why?”
“Don’t know.”
Dom reached out and gently turned Elijah’s face to him, pressed his lips against Elijah’s softly. Elijah opened his mouth slightly against Dom’s wet lips, mind reeling.
Elijah could see an ending, could feel the familiar tug of anxiety in his stomach, but this time he thought it might be okay. Things would end, they always did. He was starting to get used to it, but maybe Dom was right. Maybe it was just the beginning, like the kiss he was sharing with Dom, and July didn’t bring the slow path to the end. July was, after all, just another month.
~Fin
Author:
thepsychicclamPairing: Elijah/Dom
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Elijah hates endings.
Disclaimer: I made it up.
A/N: Thanks as always to my wonderful beta,
impasto.Elijah always hated the month of July. When he was a kid, July meant that summer was almost over. Sure, there were almost two months left, but after July came August and then Hannah and his friends would go back to school and he would be left alone. Not that he had many friends, it was mainly Hannah, but he still hated being alone. With Hannah home for the summer, he had someone to talk to, always had an Indian when he played Cowboys and Indians, and a lookout when he snuck cookies out into the tree house to watch the fireflies. And Hannah had friends from school, boys and girls whose moms would drop them off so they could play with Hannah, and that meant playing with Elijah. Elijah liked all Hannah’s friends, missed them when they didn’t come around because they saw Hannah in school. And Hannah had homework and bedtimes and school plays that kept her busy. Most of all he missed having an Indian.
July wasn’t summer in New Zealand but winter, like January back in the States, the month where it was cold, dreary, and grey. It didn’t help Elijah’s outlook on July any, just solidified his assumption that July is quite possibly the worst month no matter where on the globe he was.
If Elijah was honest with himself, he would admit that July was a perfectly fine month, but it was the ending of things that he hated. Not even the ending itself, just the promise of ending. Like an automatic countdown of life that started on July first and ticked on until the days grew shorter and the temperature dropped and the eternal freedom of summer disappeared. July meant loneliness.
He didn’t tell anyone this. Not Hannah, his mom, his grandfather, and now not even the hobbits. The guys would have laughed at him if he did, even though he never laughed at them. Elijah didn’t laugh when Billy said that he couldn’t spend any major holiday away from Maggie or when Dom said that he believed in all religions or when Sean said that he got nervous when he walked in front of crowds even though he’d been acting all his life. Elijah didn’t laugh at this, but he knew they’d laugh at him.
The hobbits always laughed at Elijah. It must have come with the territory of being the youngest, or maybe even being the so-called star hobbit. Whatever it was, it made life just a little more difficult for him. Of course, he never let the others know it. Elijah laughed along when they laughed at his eyes and pale skin. Kept telling them about new bands he heard about on his mailing list from the indie radio stations back home when they ignored him. Rambled on despite their harsh criticism on his confused views on politics. Truth was he didn’t have the time or the interest to follow politics but didn’t want to be left out when they all started debating.
But Elijah hated July and kept it a secret. At night when he couldn’t sleep, he smoked cigarette after cigarette while sweating in an apartment with a broken air conditioner and wondered what the hobbits kept from him. It was absurd, but it passed the time.
Elijah had another secret – he was in love with Dom. He knew that if anyone watched him closely it wouldn’t be a secret very long. Every time Dom was around, he felt disoriented. He didn’t hear people right, had to get them to repeat things multiple times, mouth felt loose like his words wouldn’t form right, thighs felt like lead. It made doing normal everyday things difficult since he spent most of his time with Dom.
They had their usual hobbit training and filming, and it always seemed Dom was where Elijah was. Elijah would take a cigarette out for a quick smoke before the next take, ducking out of view before he got a lecture from PJ about smoking in costume, and Dom would be right there, scratching at his uncomfortable Merry wig. During sword training, Dom was right there, always pairing up with Elijah instead of Sean or Billy.
But Elijah was the one who followed Dom to the first club, out to the pub for drinks until he couldn’t walk straight, curled on Dom’s couch nursing his very first on-set hangover at three-thirty a.m. when they had to be in feet at five. Elijah can’t remember whose idea it was to spend the night in Dom’s bed for the first time; they both had woken up still drunk and just laughed until their heads started pounding.
Eating became hard because the food on the fork never seemed to make it to his mouth. At dinner, they’d discuss the day’s filming or a movie everyone wanted to go see, and Elijah’s fork wouldn’t quite make it into his mouth. Grease or marinara sauce would end up on the front of his shirt, and the rest of the night he’d carry around part of his dinner. And it was all because of Dom.
Elijah thought this year may be different, since July was cold instead of hot, only a handful of people were American and celebrated Independence Day, and there was no school for anyone to disappear to. Technically there was no end. But Elijah still found himself shut up in his apartment in his free time, trying to shake his mid-summer depression.
He told everyone he wasn’t feeling well when they asked him to go out with them. A stack of movies sat beside the television, the refrigerator was stocked with food and beer, and he had enough cigarettes to last him at least the night.
The countdown was started. Elijah hid every calendar, stuffed them into drawers and onto empty bookshelves. But it didn’t matter – Elijah knew the days were slipping away. The first half of the filming in New Zealand was over. All that remained was the countdown until the end, the day they left and only had reshoots to look forward to. There was still plenty of time, but all Elijah could see was an ending.
This time it wouldn’t just be Hannah going back to school and the end of yet another summer. Everyone would leave and Elijah would be alone yet again, left only with the hollow echoes of warm nights and laughter.
Grabbing his pack of cigarettes, Elijah stepped out onto his small deck. The air was cold, his bare feet chilling against the wooden floor. Elbows against the railing, he inhaled deeply and blew wisps of smoke against the bright New Zealand stars. Winter always did have the brightest stars.
“Care if I join you?” Elijah looked out into the darkness towards the voice. He knew it, could distinguish Dom’s voice anywhere. Finally Dom stepped into the dim light cast out from inside the house. Without waiting for an answer, he joined Elijah on the small patio.
Elijah offered Dom a cigarette, but he declined. Elijah lit another one.
“Good weather for thinking,” Dom said, motioning around the darkness. “Even if it is bloody cold. I’m not sure I can feel my nose.”
“We can go inside.” Elijah turned, but Dom laid a hand on his arm. Elijah leaned against the railing again, orange cinders falling from the tip of his cigarette.
“I think it’s finally hit me,” Dom said quietly. Elijah glanced at him out of the corner of his eye but remained silent. “What we’re doing. It’s something big, Elijah. And it’s just beginning.” Dom laughed, deep and full. Elijah sucked thoughtfully on his cigarette.
“How is it just beginning? It’ll be over soon. I mean, we’re half done.” Elijah crushed the cigarette beside the other, his own line of cigarette butts forming. He pulled out another and lit it, the flame from his Zippo bright against the night.
“I don’t think so. I’ve only known you a few months, but I see you in my life forever. How can that be almost over unless I’m going to die within a year?” Dom turned his head slowly, eyes studying Elijah’s face closely. “How can you think like that? You’re so young.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.” Elijah sighed, thumped ashes from his burning clove. “I wish I saw things like you.”
“But you see things like you.” Dom extended a few fingers and hooked them around Elijah’s. “I don’t think that’s so bad.”
Elijah slipped his fingers through Dom’s, felt the warmth of Dom’s palm against his freezing hand. They stood in silence, Elijah smoking and Dom rubbing his thumb softly against the back of Elijah’s hand.
“My neighborhood used to put on a fireworks display on Independence Day at the park baseball field. People would camp out early in the evening, some coming out as early as four p.m., all waiting around for this show. Mom used to carry me and Hannah. Sometimes we’d have a friend, but my favorite times were the ones with just us three.” Elijah paused, took a drag from his cigarette, and continued. “We always got there around seven or eight. Mom brought a blanket and she’d spread it on the ground, and we’d lie there and talk until it was dark enough for them to start. The fireworks weren’t all that impressive. They were bright and loud, but compared to some of the ones I’ve seen in cities and on TV, they were nothing. But we looked forward to them all year.”
“Think you’ll miss them this year?” Dom asked softly. Elijah shook his head.
“I won’t miss the fireworks. Lying on my back like that, I used to think about the past year, all the way back to the last display I had seen. What was different, what movies I had done, friends I had made, girls and boys I had kissed. A lot of people do that kind of thing on New Year’s, but I always did it on July fourth. It was like that was my beginning and ending.”
“Why?”
“Don’t know.”
Dom reached out and gently turned Elijah’s face to him, pressed his lips against Elijah’s softly. Elijah opened his mouth slightly against Dom’s wet lips, mind reeling.
Elijah could see an ending, could feel the familiar tug of anxiety in his stomach, but this time he thought it might be okay. Things would end, they always did. He was starting to get used to it, but maybe Dom was right. Maybe it was just the beginning, like the kiss he was sharing with Dom, and July didn’t bring the slow path to the end. July was, after all, just another month.
~Fin
no subject
Very interesting to read!
*hugs*
no subject
no subject
Really lovely.
Chrissy.
no subject