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fellowshippers2005-06-02 08:57 pm
arabia764.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2005-06-02 08:57 pm
Fic: Our Place In The World -- Damaged story 3 Elijah/Orli N17 2/11
Title: Our Place In The World – Damaged story 3
Chapter: Two
Author: Arabia
Pairing: Elijah/Orli
Rating N17
Disclaimer: Total fiction
Notes: An AU set in modern day South London. This is NOT a WIP – it is all finished and will be posted over the next few days. It won’t go up quite as quickly as the last one because I felt a bit rushed answering all the wonderful - and very much appreciated - feedback.
WARNING: People might feel there is some non-con in this fic but the Elijah from the story says it isn’t, and I’m going with him. If you want any more info before you read it, please just ask.
It carries on pretty much after the end of the Damaged 2 – New Rules and it won’t make much sense if you haven’t read that or the first one. The first story can be found here…
Damaged
The second story here…
New Rules
Thank yous and kisses go to my darling![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
curthose for the amazing beta and to annwyn55 for making the beautiful icon that goes with the fic. You are both too wonderful to contemplate
Our Place In The World
Chapter Two
+
God bless Saturdays.
Orli’s bladder was full to bursting as he wriggled his way out of bed. If he moved too fast he might just lose a millimetre of his control and…. fuck, Elijah would never let him forget it!
He looked back at the bed. He was safe. Elijah was still asleep, lying on his belly, his face almost sliding into the gap between the two pillows, a stupid little grin on his lips.
Orli watched for a minute. He loved watching Elijah sleep; even though there wasn’t very much to watch at the moment, what with the duvet pulled up high. He would have loved to just ease it down a bit and then he could see Elijah’s back and Elijah’s spine and…. A little shiver made Orli squirm.
If he did that maybe he could just lick along each vertebra, up to nuzzle his face between Elijah’s shoulder blades and then down to bite and tease at his arse. He could just picture Elijah arching, hear that deep rumbling groan and… fuck, his cock was reacting to the thoughts in his head and, oh shit, he needed to pee!
Still he could stand here for another moment and look at Elijah’s shoulder and those glorious long lashes just resting like a butterfly’s wing on a perfect cheek and…
“Are you gonna stand there gawping all day or are you gonna make the tea?” Elijah asked, his voice thick with sleep.
Orli felt his face pink slightly and he turned away, muttering something about annoying wankers under his breath. He wandered out to the kitchen, via the bathroom, and flipped on the kettle, standing idly and watching it boil. It was a wonderful thing, not having to be anywhere, not having to do anything.
He made tea and a pile of toast, grabbed the newspaper from the doormat and headed back to bed.
“What do you want first tea or trash?” he held out the paper and a mug to Elijah.
“Both,” Elijah scrambled up the bed. He drank half the mug of tea, put it on the bedside table, and made a cradle with his legs for the paper to rest in. Orli got in next to him, his back resting against the headboard, and carefully split the paper into two, giving Elijah the middle section.
“It was fun last night,” Elijah said, simultaneously taking a slice of toast and flicking through the pages. “Daft but fun, I like that restaurant.”
“Oh that was fun?” Orli raised an eyebrow. “The restaurant, rather than back here afterwards.”
“Sex with you is a damned sight more than fun,” Elijah said through a mouthful of toast, his eyes on the paper. “Or are you fishing for compliments?”
“Wanker,” Orli opened his own section of the paper. “And you said the restaurant was only for old people and families.”
“Actually it was Stuart that said that, I just agreed with him.”
It had been fun, Orli thought. When Rose had suggested the Harvester restaurant chain they’d all agreed it was a rotten idea, but the food was cheap and good enough and they’d enjoyed a laugh. But maybe the place wasn’t really ready for a gay couple in love.
Or Rose in a low cut top.
Come to think of it, no one was ready for Rose in a low cut top except Stuart. Rose and Stuart were in love too and… yeah, it had been fun. Orli grinned to himself.
“We’ve got back there, haven’t we?” Elijah spoke softly, interpreting Orli’s thoughts perfectly. “We’ve got contentment again.”
“I guess we have,” Orli smiled back. “Let’s hang onto it this time.”
Elijah leaned over and dropped a quick kiss on the side of Orli’s head, nabbing another bit of toast while he was there. A couple of minutes later and he was back, this time trying to slide a page of the newspaper out from under the one Orli was reading.
“Oi, I haven’t read that yet,” Orli moaned.
“Be fair, you got the news section and all I got was the tv page and the gossip bit.”
Orli pulled out the page and threw it at Elijah. “You shouldn’t be reading that anyway, you should be working your way through the recommended texts for university.”
“I haven’t got the recommended texts yet,” he said belligerently.
“Then we need to go and get them,” Orli said brightly. “How about we go early next week? I’m owed some time off.”
Elijah didn’t make a sound, but all of a sudden Orli could feel it; a slight tensing in the air. “’Lijah? What’s the matter?” he asked gently.
“Nothing.” The answer was quick and clipped and completely untrue.
“Nothing my arse, what is it?”
“Now you mention it, how is your arse this morning?”
“Elijah,” Orli huffed, exasperated. He tried a different approach. “When does uni start?”
“Can’t remember. Soon,” Elijah added the last word at Orli’s raised eyebrows.
Orli sat back and waited. As expected Elijah cracked quickly. “All right, Thursday. They break us in gently.”
“This Thursday? I didn’t realise it was so soon. When do you finish the cleaning job?”
“Wednesday.”
“Oh come on mate, give yourself a break. You can take a bit of time off as well.”
“Nah, I can’t see the point,” Elijah wriggled around brushing non-existent toast scraps off the duvet.
“Is it the money? If you’re short of cash you know I’ll help out.”
“I don’t need any money,” Elijah squirmed a bit more.
“Are you sure? What about books and… stuff”
“I don’t need any money,” his tone was clipped, curt almost.
“Then what is it?” Orli rested a hand gently on Elijah’s back and felt the muscles, taut and stretched with strain. “Hey, whatever it is, it’ll be all right. Tell me.” He started to slowly massage around the base of Elijah’s neck, his fingers arching and digging into the hard tendons.
Elijah sank back gratefully onto the hand, his eyes falling shut as he huffed out a breath, his shoulders rounding as his head fell forward. But then in a sharp movement he pulled away, his back ram-rod straight. “There’s nothing wrong, I’m okay.”
For a surprised moment Orli simply looked at him in amazement before he slid over, going up onto his knees, and started to knead and rub again, this time with both hands. “Don’t do that,” he said gently. “Being all silent and independent is what you used to do. You have to remember we’ve gone girly now and we talk to each other.” He dug his fingers in harder, Elijah’s body rocking under the pressure. “So tell me.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“’Cos I can’t breathe with you doing that,” the tension was going from Elijah’s voice, there was even a hint of amusement.
“All right, better?” Orli slid back over, stretching his legs out on top of the duvet, the cool air tickling at his naked skin. He left a hand just touching Elijah’s back.
“It’s just…” Elijah pulled his knees up to his chest and sat back against the headboard, the newspaper falling to the floor. “I’m not sure if I want to go to university anymore.”
“What? I…” Orli thought for a minute. “But you’ve been planning this for ages. I know you’re bursting to get back to your books.”
“Yeah, but I was thinking,” Elijah looked up, the animation back in his face. “What if I finish my degree with the open university? You know, do it by post. That way I could work while I did it and…”
“It is the money then,” Orli cut in. “I thought you were getting a grant but if that’s not enough I’ll support you. It’s not a problem, I’d love to do it.”
“No, it’s not the money,” Elijah looked away again.
“Then what?” Orli asked bluntly.
Elijah flopped back and gave in. “It’s… I don’t know if I can do it, start somewhere different with all those new people.”
“Don’t you want to go?”
“Right at this minute, no, I don’t want to go,” Elijah said with feeling. “I want to study, I want to finish my degree but I don’t want to go there.”
“It’s not that particular university that bothers you, is it? You don’t want to go anywhere.”
“It’s not the building, I love the smell of places like that, it’s the people,” he looked at Orli with nervous eyes. “How am I supposed to do it? How am I supposed to cope with all those people when I don’t know the rules?”
Orli patted Elijah’s knee reassuringly. “You’ll be fine, you’re so amazing that you can do anything you want.”
“No Orlando, don’t be patronising. It isn’t that simple.”
“Of course it is, you’ll go in there and stun them all. I bet you’ll have them eating out of your hand by the weekend.”
Elijah crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Orli. “You still don’t really get it, do you? At my last university there were about a sixty people on my course. By the time I left, towards the end of the second year, I must have had some sort of sex with at least half of them.” His gaze was fixed on Orli’s face. “And all except two of the staff. If I had to talk to someone more than a couple of times I did them. If I borrowed some girl’s lecture notes it was a quick fingers up there for a wank, if my essay was late it was a fuck. Everyone knew the rates and knew I was a slut but, because I kept smiling and putting out, everyone loved me. Of course I could get them eating out of my hand, but there’s a price.”
Orli felt the little pulse point beat in his forehead as he pinched unconsciously at the flesh on his thigh. He concentrated on breathing in and out slowly as he watched Elijah’s tongue swipe over his bottom lip. “So now you won’t put out,” he said eventually.
“No, I won’t,” Elijah agreed. “But I have no idea what to do instead.”
Orli rubbed his palms against the sheet and pulled his knees up, mirroring Elijah. “Okay,” he blew out a long breath. “It’s not that bad, you’ve had some practice with my friends and you’re doing all right.”
“Orli,” Elijah almost laughed. “Besides you, I talk to Rose, Stuart and your mum and dad and let’s face it none of those are going brilliantly well. Both Rose and Stuart still talk to my cock rather than my face, no matter how much they fancy each other, your dad thinks I’m scum and your mum isn’t far off.”
“My mum likes you!”
“No, your mum tolerates me for your sake. She wouldn’t mind a bit if I just packed up and disappeared. If I can’t get anywhere with that lot after all this time, how am I supposed to take on university?”
Orli scrubbed at his hair, screwing up his face in a frown.
“Perhaps it would be best if I tried the Open University instead, you only have to meet up to take the exams,” Elijah said gently.
“No,” Orli shook his head. “You want this, you need this, and I know you can do it,” he smiled at Elijah. “Even if you don’t know it.”
“But…”
“No, come on, you have to be positive.”
“Positive? How am I meant to do that?”
“Start gently, find a couple of safe nerdy ones to be friends with and stick with them for a bit. Just make sure they’re old and ugly so I don’t have to be jealous.”
“Orli,” Elijah’s voice dropped. “I don’t even attempt to talk to anyone unless you’re there or unless they know I’m with you. I just don’t do it on my own.”
“You do, you must do,” Orli shook his head.
Elijah sat and looked at him. “When? When do I talk to anyone else?”
And Orli slowly realised that Elijah didn’t. He only talked to a handful of people, and only then with Orli’s support. Orli pulled himself up and twisted to move closer into Elijah. He rubbed his thumb over the knobbly bone on Elijah’s knee and looked at him straight. “You might not do it, but you can. I know you can ‘Lijah because you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. You might be scared now but I believe in you and I know you can do it.”
Elijah hung onto Orli’s every word, his eyes trusting.
“You really think so?”
“Of course, you’ve amazed me with what you’ve managed to do already, how strong you are. Now you just have to do it on a bigger stage, that’s all,” he smiled at Elijah, wide and confident. “Take it easy, don’t join any groups or do any extra activities for a while, ease yourself in gently.”
Orli rested both hands on Elijah, holding his gaze. “You don’t have to sleep with someone for them to realise how beautiful you are, inside and out. I’ll be here, I’ll help, but you can do this. I have complete faith in you.”
And for a while Elijah really believed him.
+
“Are you sure this is a short cut?” Elijah asked, trailing behind as Orli strode purposefully up the street.
“Of course I’m sure,” Orli suddenly stopped in the middle of the pavement and looked around him. “We need to go…”
“We’re lost,” Elijah stated. “Go on admit it, we’re lost.”
“No, not lost. Just temporarily unsure of what direction to go in.”
“Lost,” Elijah repeated. “We should have stayed on the bus and got off at the stop right outside the university.”
“Don’t be so negative,” Orli took four steps back the way they’d come. “That’s too easy. What we have to do is apply a little logic. If the bus stop is over there and the hospital is in that direction then… it must be round here some place. The whole area looks familiar.”
“Have you ever been to the uni before?”
“No,” Orli admitted.
“Then why the hell would it look familiar?”
“Don’t know, but it does,” Orli moved off again, striding up a side street. “You should have a bit more faith in me.”
“Orli,” Elijah ran to catch up with him. “Can’t we just retrace our steps, get the bus the rest of the way and then pick up the books I need? I’ll buy you a pint after we’ve been to the library.”
“No I…” Orli stopped dead. “Oh.”
“What?”
Orli stared at the road opposite.
“What?” Elijah repeated.
“Shane’s mum lives down there.”
“Oh,” Elijah agreed.
“Why did she just turn up at our flat like that?”
“I don’t know,” Elijah admitted.
“Only one way to find out,” Orli waited for a gap in the traffic before crossing the road. “Come on.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Elijah called.
“If Eileen can pop in unannounced, we can do the same,” Orli caught Elijah’s hand, dodged round a parked white van and headed for the side street. “Anyway I’d like to see how she is, I’m quite fond of her.”
Elijah trailed after him. Again.
+
Forty-five minutes, two cups of coffee and two slices of home made walnut and vanilla cake later, they emerged back onto the street.
“She hasn’t changed,” Orli said closing the gate. “She’s still as sweet as ever.”
“Yeah,” Elijah mumbled.
“And she seems to approve of you,” he kissed Elijah on the cheek. “You didn’t say much but you got an even bigger slice of cake than I did.”
“Yeah,” Elijah chewed at his bottom lip and stored the thought away.
“Eileen always did have great taste,” Orli turned to Elijah, smiling. “I did wonder what was going on when she just showed up out of the blue; she knew I’d be at work. It nice to know that she only wanted to check you out and make sure I was okay. It’s good not having to worry about anything.”
“Yeah,” Elijah smiled whole-heartedly this time and caught Orli’s hand.
+
Wednesday.
One day left and Elijah was feeling the strain. His last day at work was almost exactly the same as every other day except that his boss turned up. No words of thanks or good luck, the man didn’t even stop talking on his mobile or puffing on his cigarette, but he did push an envelope into Elijah’s hand. No extra goodbye cash but he was paid in full.
He did get one treat though. Half way through their shift Claudette, his ancient, slow moving colleague, produced a flask of coffee and some Jamaican sweet cake from her voluminous bag and they had an impromptu party sat on some city whiz kid’s desk.
The coffee even had a healthy tot of rum in it.
The rum eased his nerves but not for long. By the time he said goodbye his neck muscles were so tight he thought he’d get cramp, his belly was doing somersaults and he had the mother of all headaches.
He wasn’t ready for university.
Only he was ready and that was part of the problem. At nine thirty the day stretched empty ahead of him. He had all the books, all the paper, all the pencils and pens he could possibly need. He’d checked out the route and… he had nothing left to do except get more nervous.
He decided to go shopping; after all you never knew when you’d need paper clips. But first coffee seemed like a good idea.
It turned out not to be. The caffeine bounced off the alcohol and he felt strung out as well as exhausted and it was only twenty past ten. Orli wouldn’t be home till nearly six, then they could go to bed and… Elijah knew lots of ways to work off nervous energy and he didn’t think they’d make it to the actual bed. But he had hours to kill first.
He puffed out a long, loud breath, hitched his bag up on his shoulder and pushed out of the coffee shop.
+
“Elijah darling, your man’s home,” Orli parodied in a high pitched, sing-song voice. “Have you got my dinner on the table?”
“Fuck off wanker,” Elijah laughed, flicking the television off with the remote control as Orli rolled over the back of the sofa to land on him.
“How was your last day?” Orli asked after a long, silky-smooth kiss.
“All right,” Elijah untucked Orli’s shirt at the back, just so he could touch flesh. “Claudette made me cake.”
“That was nice of her, she must like you.” Orli pushed his hips forward, urgent and demanding.
“How can I tell? She never says anything.” Elijah opened his legs and Orli slipped between them, thrusting openly now.
Orli clamped his mouth onto Elijah’s, his tongue seeming to take residence right at the back, as his hands pulled at the zip on Elijah’s jeans.
“Orli,” Elijah managed to come up for air.
Orli thrust faster, grinding his hips down.
“Orlando, I really think that you should…”
Orli had managed to get Elijah’s jeans open and down a little way along with his boxers so that the top of his pubic hair was just showing. He pushed the old t shirt up to expose a white, rounded belly.
Orli looked down. He caught sight of the hair, the belly and that fucking adorable belly button and… couldn’t help himself. His hips seemed to take on a life of their own; lifting and falling and just pounding away and then… and then he got the angle right so that his cock found the hard ridge of Elijah’s and… he submerged himself in the wetness of Elijah’s mouth, the warmth of Elijah’s hands on his back, the glory that was Elijah’s skin and the heat between Elijah’s legs.
He submerged himself and lost himself, coming quick and hard.
He tried to lift his head but didn’t get far as Elijah clung to his back. Orli angled his hips again, trying for the right pace that would make Elijah throw his head back and arch his spine. Almost there, keep it going, feel for the rhythm and… got it!
Strong fingers dug hollows in his shoulders and Elijah shuddered, gasping, his knees tightening almost painfully on Orli’s sides.
Elijah flopped out. “Wow, I’ve heard of a quickie but that must take the record. Hard day at work?”
“Boring day at work,” Orli peeled himself back. “Too much time to think about you naked. Oh man!” he pulled the damp fabric of his still-fastened trousers away from his groin. “Not again, these’ll have to be dry cleaned.”
“I did try to warn you,” Elijah looked at his own mess. Only his boxers, not so bad. “I’m not taking them to the shop again, it happens so often we’re becoming regulars.”
“And it’s costing me a fortune,” Orli sat up.
“You shouldn’t be so desperate,” Elijah perched next to him on the edge of the sofa, both with knees wide apart, both pulling up a tent of their sticky clothes.
Orli looked at him, a happy grin spreading across his face. “You complaining?”
“Nah,” Elijah grinned back.
“Wash, food, rent a dvd to distract you and then an early, eventful night?”
“Race you for the shower,” Elijah was up and gone before he’d finished speaking.
It was so much better when someone knew just how you were feeling.
+
Thursday morning.
The big day had arrived and Elijah thought he might just stay in bed. He would have as well, if Orli hadn’t yanked the duvet off, turned on the main light, put the radio on, full blast, right next to his ear and announced he’d already poured the milk on Elijah’s Coco Pops.
Elijah hated soggy Coco Pops and Orli knew it.
Elijah hauled himself out of bed.
This was nice, Elijah thought. They didn’t eat breakfast together very often. Usually Elijah was already at work before Orli got up and at weekends neither of them managed to wake up before brunch. This was nice.
Shame it had to be spoiled by the thought of what came next.
He washed and dressed slowly, only half aware of Orli’s reassuring chatter in the background.
“Walk you to the bus stop?”
“What?”
“Shall we walk to the bus stop together?” Orli said, patronisingly slowly. “I’ll let you hold my hand.”
“Oh okay, if you like,” Elijah suddenly thought about Orli’s offer. “Don’t you have to get a different bus?”
“Yes, but they go from the same stop,” Orli dropped a quick kiss on Elijah’s lips and picked up his keys. “So?” he stopped by the door waiting.
“What?”
“Jacket? Bag? You know that thing you’ve been packing and checking obsessively for days now. You might just want to bring them.”
“Oh,” Elijah headed back to the living room.
“Jesus fuck, what is that!” Orli snorted, laughing, as Elijah reappeared.
“What?”
“What the hell are you wearing?”
“It’s a coat,” Elijah said defensively.
“Yeah, I can see that,” Orli pulled at it’s collar. It was huge, a dark grey tweedy thing with big black buttons and lots of pockets. Very sensible, for a twenty stone, tall, middle aged business man. “But whose coat?”
“It’s mine. I got it yesterday.”
“You bought it,” Orli said astonished. “You actually paid money for that?”
“What’s wrong with it? It’s just a coat.”
“But it must be at least ten sizes too big. ‘Lijah you could get half the England rugby team in there with you,” Orli lifted the shoulders up and then let them fall. They came to rest half way down Elijah’s arms. “How much did you pay for it?”
“Not a lot. I got it in a charity shop.”
“Didn’t they have anything smaller?”
“I wanted this one.”
Orli suddenly stopped laughing. “Why?” he asked softly.
When Elijah looked at him his eyes were wide and afraid again. “Because I can hide in it. No one will see me if I wear this.”
“Oh you silly little bugger,” Orli whispered into Elijah’s hair as he pulled him close, his arms wrapping tight around Elijah’s back. “I do love you.”
“Tell me again.”
Orli gave him another squeeze and then cupped his head, staring straight into his face. “I love you and you are amazing. You can do this because you’re strong and good and… I’m bloody proud of you. All right?”
Elijah nodded.
“Do you want me to come with you? I can see you to the door, doesn’t matter if I’m a bit late for work.”
“Nah, I can do the bus on my own,” Elijah looked away and then quickly back again. “Only Orlando… can we stay in tonight? Just us, on our own. I’m going to get away as soon as I can, I’ll be back here when you get in, I’m not staying any longer than I have to and…” he dried up.
“We’ll stay in, just us on the sofa, and you can tell me about your day and… I love you. Don’t forget that, okay?” he rubbed at Elijah’s neck again. “Ready?”
Elijah nodded again and Orli opened the front door as he reached to hold Elijah’s hand tightly under the baggy sleeves of his coat.
+
A man or a woman?
Orli couldn’t stop the question going round and round in his mind. It pulled at his senses, digging its claws in until any reason and intelligence Orli might have had was ripped to shreds and dripping with blood.
Was Elijah fucking with some man? A man who’d be younger, smarter, hipper than Orli. Someone who could talk with passion and zeal about all those things that meant so much to Elijah. Or maybe it’d be a girl with high pert breasts and a skirt so short that you could see her knickers as she moved.
Orli scrubbed a hand across his forehead and poured himself another glass of wine before stalking out into the bedroom. What did he want in here? No fucking idea. Maybe it was just to torture himself with the image of Elijah naked, miles of fucking flawless skin stretched out on the white of the sheets. “Bastard,” Orli spat the word at the bed and banged the door as he headed back to the kitchen.
It didn’t matter what the girl’s tits or skirt were like, she had them and soft flesh and pretty little moans. She had things that he could never give Elijah. It didn’t matter if she was an old hag of a professor, she was a woman and Elijah hadn’t had one of those in a long time. No wonder he was off fucking her now.
Orli looked at the clock for the millionth time. It was only four minutes later than when he’d last looked. And Elijah still wasn’t here. Orli’s hand went to the bottle again.
Elijah had said he’d be home by three, he’d be home early and… Elijah had said. But he wasn’t here and it was gone seven. Orli picked up the lasagne he’d made and walked towards the dustbin.
Elijah had said that he wanted to say in tonight, just the two of them curled up together all romantic. Elijah had said he was scared shitless about going to university and that he’d be desperate to get home. Elijah had said.
Elijah said a lot of things but he wasn’t here. Orli suddenly saw Elijah, clear as day, pounding into some faceless girl who had her legs spread wide and her hands in his hair. Orli threw the lasagne at the wall.
Elijah said a lot of things.
The pasta plopped out in one single solid lump and slid down the wall, leaving a greasy smear, as the dish broke clean in two. It landed on the floor a congealing mess with a burnt blackened crust.
Elijah should have been in early, he should have made dinner, but he wasn’t and he hadn’t so Orli had tried to actually make something nice. A celebration called for a bit more than opening a tin, and he’d mixed things and cut things up and… “Bastard,” Orli whispered, grabbing the wine bottle and swigging from it directly. The alcohol burned at his throat, a line dribbling down his chin. He wasn’t anyway near drunk and he wished he was.
He looked at the clock again. Another eight minutes.
She’d be mumbling all those little words of encouragement into his ear now. “Harder,” “More,” “You’re the best.” Women had a way of saying them in a breathy little voice that just sounded ridiculous when it came from a man. But perhaps that’s what Elijah liked. “I love your cock,” “I love you…” Women could say that to anyone, even the first time. Women said things like that all the time, it didn’t matter if they didn’t mean it.
He took another swig. Only half the bottle gone, and a fair bit of that was slopped over the table, but the bile that was flaring up in his stomach was fighting against the alcohol.
Now he could see her hands on Elijah’s back. Short, badly cared for nails with chipped purple nail varnish. Funny he could see her fingers, all knobbly knuckles and too many chunky silver rings, arched up against Elijah but he couldn’t see her face. The back of Elijah’s head was in the way, like he was standing above them looking down, watching Elijah’s hips pound and pound and pound…
Fuck. He turned on the cold tap, letting it run till the water was icy then stuck his head underneath. It didn’t help. He scrubbed the tea towel across his hair and went back to the wine, filling his glass this time. That didn’t help either.
They’d be finished now, she’d be laying back, those fucking pert tits standing proud while she went on about how wonderful he was and how they could do this every day now university had started. Elijah would be lighting up a cigarette; Orli knew it, he just knew it, he’d go back to smoking and come home stinking of the stuff. Even though he’d chew a mint it would be in his clothes, in his hair.
That’s if he came home at all.
“Bastard,” Orli shouted as his wine glass hit the wall just above the mess left by the lasagne. The dark red richness trickled down, pooling on the floor like a puddle of blood.
Would Elijah make the same noises with her as he did with Orli? Would he say the same things to her? Would he touch her in the same soft way and look up smiling?
There was a noise outside; a key in the lock. Orli was out in the hall, pulling at the door before the key had even turned.
Elijah.
He was home.
But where’d he been? Who’d he been with?
“Do you know what the fucking time is?” Orli yelled before Elijah was through the door. “Where you been? Who you been with? Why the fuck didn’t you come home when you said you would?”
“Huh?” Elijah stood just inside the threshold looking bewildered.
“I made fucking dinner but it’s all ruined now. Who were you doing? It didn’t take you long, did it? Who was she, another student or one of the staff?”
“Orli? What the hell…”
“I didn’t think you’d go back to screwing around this quick, first fucking day there and you’re at it. Get your cock out to smooth the way and…” and then the sight before him registered with Orli.
Elijah was standing there, mouth slightly open, either in confusion or ready to argue, Orli didn’t care, his rucksack hanging off one shoulder, his coat screwed up in a ball in his arms.
The coat that this morning he couldn’t leave the house without wearing. The coat that he was going to hide inside, that would protect him from all those new people who’d want a piece of him. And now Orli really believed all the wild thoughts that had been going through his head for hours.
He slammed the door closed, the flat of his hand still pressed hard against it as he pushed Elijah back, their faces inches apart. “Who was she?” Orli held onto his anger by the skin of his teeth.
“Who you talking about?” Elijah tried to push past, but Orli wasn’t moving.
“The girl you took your coat off for.”
“Oh fuck off,” Elijah laughed. “I took my coat off ‘cos I was hot. It’s no big deal. Why are you in such a paddy?” He wriggled round Orli, his bag slipping down his arm, and Orli smelt it.
Yeah, there was smoke in Elijah’s hair.
“You bastard, after I took you in, let you in, let you get close,” Orli grabbed at Elijah pushing him up against the wall. He yanked the coat from Elijah’s hands, rubbing it in Elijah’s face before throwing it on the floor. “This was meant to protect you, cover you up. It didn’t last long.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Elijah rubbed at where the rough coat had grazed his cheek. “Calm down, nothing’s happened.”
Orli’s hand tightened on Elijah’s arm. “I thought you were mine, I actually thought it would be you and me together forever.”
“I am and it will be Orlando,” Elijah reached out and stroked across Orli’s face. “I don’t know what you’re so uptight about but we can work it out.”
“Can we?” Orli thought about other hands on Elijah’s skin; other people writhing and panting under him.
Elijah stroking and licking other skin.
“Course we can, I don’t get what’s going on but we’ll be okay,” Elijah tilted his head up and kissed across Orli’s lips, his hands slipping comfortably around Orli’s waist and under his t shirt.
Orli closed his mind against all the images floating inside his head and looked at Elijah. His Elijah. He crushed his mouth down, sucking Elijah’s tongue in, his hands kneading at the flesh on Elijah’s hips. Elijah was his; they’d be all right.
Elijah pressed his body up against Orli’s; he knew how to calm his man. They’d shag until they had no energy left and then they could talk. Orli had worked himself up into a state about something and he wouldn’t be able to think straight, let alone talk, until he’d calmed down. This was the quickest and easiest way to do it; added bonus it was also fun. He slipped his leg between Orli’s thighs, pushing up. Christ, Orli was hard all right. “We’re just fine.”
Orli felt a wash of relief spread out slowly from where Elijah’s body squashed against his, from where firm fingers drew patterns on his skin. He tilted his head and caught Elijah’s mouth in another kiss, soft at first, but then harder as the echo of his fears still ran around his body. He pulled Elijah tighter, his hands going down to knead Elijah’s arse as his tongue pushed its way home.
He needed Elijah. Needed him like an addict needed their next fix.
Orli tried to hook a leg round Elijah’s while fingers clumsy with desperation pulled at first his own then Elijah’s flies. The button gave, the zip fell almost of its own accord, and Orli’s hands pinched at supple flesh.
“See, told you we’re okay,” Elijah said easing Orli’s jeans off his hips. “You and me, nothing else matters.”
Nothing else matters.
The words replayed themselves over and over in Orli’s mind. Nothing else matters, not as long as he had Elijah. And he did have him, right now, what had happened before wasn’t important, he had Elijah now.
Orli hitched Elijah up against the wall, almost burying him in the coats hanging on the pegs, his feet barely touching the floor, and bit at his neck, not bothering to soothe the spot before adding another and another. Elijah was his, his. No one else could have him, Orli would mark him until the whole world knew.
He crushed his face into the base of Elijah’s neck, his teeth ripping the clothes away to get at flesh, his hands bruising as he held Elijah in place. Elijah was his. His knee came up to pin Elijah as Orli let go with one hand to yank his own boxers awkwardly down. He bit Elijah’s neck again hard and sharp, his chest squashing Elijah painfully back against the zips and buttons of the coats, as he searched frantically in a jacket pocket. Got it, the small tube of lube left there for emergencies.
Orli pulled back; Elijah’s shirt was torn at the collar, his neck and the v of pale flesh that showed in the opening were covered in red teeth marks turning darker as he watched. Elijah’s hair was dishevelled, his eyes wide, his lips wet and swollen, a purple mark growing on his cheek bone just under his eye that looked suspiciously like the shape of Orli’s finger. Orli realised he had done it, he had made Elijah look like that and he couldn’t even remember doing half of it. “I…” He didn’t know what he wanted to say.
“It’s all right,” Elijah reached out to tangle a hand in Orli’s hair. “We’re all right. Now kiss me and let’s finish this.”
Orli hesitated a split second and then did as he was told, kissing more softly as Elijah pulled him in closer by his hair. Orli rested his face just for a moment back in the crook of Elijah’s neck and breathed deeply, his mouth open as he inhaled Elijah’s smell.
Elijah’s smell, his Elijah who was here now, warm and solid in his arms and not going anywhere. His Elijah who smelled as always of washing powder with a hint of Orli and that innate Elijahness and…
There was something else, another smell that wasn’t Elijah and wasn’t Orli and didn’t have anything to do with them. A sweet floral sent that was entirely feminine.
Orli ripped his face away, the anger boiling in his veins, and hardly registered the confusion in Elijah’s eyes.
Elijah smelled of someone else. His Elijah, who maybe wasn’t his anymore.
He wasn’t going to lose this one, he’d make Elijah his.
With no conscious thought, Orli grabbed Elijah’s shoulder, twisted him round, and flung him onto the floor. Elijah landed almost on his hands and knees, a jumbled mix of limbs as he pitched forward.
“Orlando?” Elijah looked over his shoulder. “What is it?”
Orli dropped to his knees, one hand going to the back of Elijah’s neck holding him down, the other ripping Elijah’s trousers and underwear down past the curve of his hips. He didn’t notice the angry red lines as his fingernails scraped soft flesh.
Elijah grunted as his face was pushed down towards the carpet, his body rolled half onto its side, and a leg forced his knees to bend up. Orli tore the top of the lube off with his teeth, squirting a small amount in the vague direction of Elijah. Most of it ended up smeared across his right cheek or on the carpet.
Then there were two fingers in deep and a red flash of pain as Elijah tried to wriggle forward. “Whoa Orli, slow down.”
But Orli couldn’t slow down. He loomed over Elijah pinning him with his body, his face close to Elijah’s hair.
And he smelt it again. That smell that wasn’t his and wasn’t Elijah’s.
“Keep still,” he ordered, thrusting his hips forward through the blind fog of panic in his mind. He had to have Elijah back, make him his.
Orli’s cock met the solid resistance of muscle and he thrust again, only harder, much harder.
Elijah gasped and tried to slide forward. Orli’s hand pushed down harder on the back of his head and the weight of the body on his was crushing. He’d really have to fight or…
He hardly had a chance to murmur a quiet, “Orlando?” and the flash of pain became something altogether stronger and thicker.
Elijah braced his hands against the carpet burn on his face, then consciously and deliberately made his body go limp, relaxing his muscles against the intrusion.
Orli snapped his hips, a short brutal movement, and then again.
It didn’t last long.
Five, maybe six times, Elijah wasn’t counting, and then Orli was deeper still and Elijah felt the warmth flush inside him.
Orli stilled, his backed arched over Elijah, his breathing more ragged than Elijah had ever heard it before, and Elijah waited.
Suddenly Orli pulled out, no finesse or subtlety, just another sharp stab of pain, and he was sitting up on his knees, his head bent forward, his eyes shut.
Elijah didn’t move.
Orli took a steadying breath and looked up. Elijah was half on his side, half on his front, his knees pushed up, the top leg slightly higher than the other. His arms were in front of him, the fingers of one hand digging into the short tufts of the carpet, his head turned away so all Orli could see was a mop of dark hair. There wasn’t much skin showing between the bottom of his shirt tails that had fallen back around his waist and his trousers and boxers that were caught above his knees; a red line showing where they’d cut into his thigh.
Not much skin. Just acres and acres of pale white perfection with…. Orli drew in a sharp breath through his nose, the noise echoing in the silence of the hall, his hand going up to cover his mouth as though to prevent its escape. There was a smear of semen just beginning to trickle down the curve of one cheek.
Elijah slowly turned his head, oh-so-blue eyes stark in the frighteningly white face, and looked up at Orli. Orli scarcely registered the darkening bruise on one cheek or the swollen bloody, bitten lip before he ran for the safety of the bathroom, his jeans still caught round his thighs, his cock hanging out soft and slippery. He slammed the door and locked it before Elijah had a chance to move further.
+
Chapter: Two
Author: Arabia
Pairing: Elijah/Orli
Rating N17
Disclaimer: Total fiction
Notes: An AU set in modern day South London. This is NOT a WIP – it is all finished and will be posted over the next few days. It won’t go up quite as quickly as the last one because I felt a bit rushed answering all the wonderful - and very much appreciated - feedback.
WARNING: People might feel there is some non-con in this fic but the Elijah from the story says it isn’t, and I’m going with him. If you want any more info before you read it, please just ask.
It carries on pretty much after the end of the Damaged 2 – New Rules and it won’t make much sense if you haven’t read that or the first one. The first story can be found here…
Damaged
The second story here…
New Rules
Thank yous and kisses go to my darling
curthose for the amazing beta and to annwyn55 for making the beautiful icon that goes with the fic. You are both too wonderful to contemplateOur Place In The World
Chapter Two
+
God bless Saturdays.
Orli’s bladder was full to bursting as he wriggled his way out of bed. If he moved too fast he might just lose a millimetre of his control and…. fuck, Elijah would never let him forget it!
He looked back at the bed. He was safe. Elijah was still asleep, lying on his belly, his face almost sliding into the gap between the two pillows, a stupid little grin on his lips.
Orli watched for a minute. He loved watching Elijah sleep; even though there wasn’t very much to watch at the moment, what with the duvet pulled up high. He would have loved to just ease it down a bit and then he could see Elijah’s back and Elijah’s spine and…. A little shiver made Orli squirm.
If he did that maybe he could just lick along each vertebra, up to nuzzle his face between Elijah’s shoulder blades and then down to bite and tease at his arse. He could just picture Elijah arching, hear that deep rumbling groan and… fuck, his cock was reacting to the thoughts in his head and, oh shit, he needed to pee!
Still he could stand here for another moment and look at Elijah’s shoulder and those glorious long lashes just resting like a butterfly’s wing on a perfect cheek and…
“Are you gonna stand there gawping all day or are you gonna make the tea?” Elijah asked, his voice thick with sleep.
Orli felt his face pink slightly and he turned away, muttering something about annoying wankers under his breath. He wandered out to the kitchen, via the bathroom, and flipped on the kettle, standing idly and watching it boil. It was a wonderful thing, not having to be anywhere, not having to do anything.
He made tea and a pile of toast, grabbed the newspaper from the doormat and headed back to bed.
“What do you want first tea or trash?” he held out the paper and a mug to Elijah.
“Both,” Elijah scrambled up the bed. He drank half the mug of tea, put it on the bedside table, and made a cradle with his legs for the paper to rest in. Orli got in next to him, his back resting against the headboard, and carefully split the paper into two, giving Elijah the middle section.
“It was fun last night,” Elijah said, simultaneously taking a slice of toast and flicking through the pages. “Daft but fun, I like that restaurant.”
“Oh that was fun?” Orli raised an eyebrow. “The restaurant, rather than back here afterwards.”
“Sex with you is a damned sight more than fun,” Elijah said through a mouthful of toast, his eyes on the paper. “Or are you fishing for compliments?”
“Wanker,” Orli opened his own section of the paper. “And you said the restaurant was only for old people and families.”
“Actually it was Stuart that said that, I just agreed with him.”
It had been fun, Orli thought. When Rose had suggested the Harvester restaurant chain they’d all agreed it was a rotten idea, but the food was cheap and good enough and they’d enjoyed a laugh. But maybe the place wasn’t really ready for a gay couple in love.
Or Rose in a low cut top.
Come to think of it, no one was ready for Rose in a low cut top except Stuart. Rose and Stuart were in love too and… yeah, it had been fun. Orli grinned to himself.
“We’ve got back there, haven’t we?” Elijah spoke softly, interpreting Orli’s thoughts perfectly. “We’ve got contentment again.”
“I guess we have,” Orli smiled back. “Let’s hang onto it this time.”
Elijah leaned over and dropped a quick kiss on the side of Orli’s head, nabbing another bit of toast while he was there. A couple of minutes later and he was back, this time trying to slide a page of the newspaper out from under the one Orli was reading.
“Oi, I haven’t read that yet,” Orli moaned.
“Be fair, you got the news section and all I got was the tv page and the gossip bit.”
Orli pulled out the page and threw it at Elijah. “You shouldn’t be reading that anyway, you should be working your way through the recommended texts for university.”
“I haven’t got the recommended texts yet,” he said belligerently.
“Then we need to go and get them,” Orli said brightly. “How about we go early next week? I’m owed some time off.”
Elijah didn’t make a sound, but all of a sudden Orli could feel it; a slight tensing in the air. “’Lijah? What’s the matter?” he asked gently.
“Nothing.” The answer was quick and clipped and completely untrue.
“Nothing my arse, what is it?”
“Now you mention it, how is your arse this morning?”
“Elijah,” Orli huffed, exasperated. He tried a different approach. “When does uni start?”
“Can’t remember. Soon,” Elijah added the last word at Orli’s raised eyebrows.
Orli sat back and waited. As expected Elijah cracked quickly. “All right, Thursday. They break us in gently.”
“This Thursday? I didn’t realise it was so soon. When do you finish the cleaning job?”
“Wednesday.”
“Oh come on mate, give yourself a break. You can take a bit of time off as well.”
“Nah, I can’t see the point,” Elijah wriggled around brushing non-existent toast scraps off the duvet.
“Is it the money? If you’re short of cash you know I’ll help out.”
“I don’t need any money,” Elijah squirmed a bit more.
“Are you sure? What about books and… stuff”
“I don’t need any money,” his tone was clipped, curt almost.
“Then what is it?” Orli rested a hand gently on Elijah’s back and felt the muscles, taut and stretched with strain. “Hey, whatever it is, it’ll be all right. Tell me.” He started to slowly massage around the base of Elijah’s neck, his fingers arching and digging into the hard tendons.
Elijah sank back gratefully onto the hand, his eyes falling shut as he huffed out a breath, his shoulders rounding as his head fell forward. But then in a sharp movement he pulled away, his back ram-rod straight. “There’s nothing wrong, I’m okay.”
For a surprised moment Orli simply looked at him in amazement before he slid over, going up onto his knees, and started to knead and rub again, this time with both hands. “Don’t do that,” he said gently. “Being all silent and independent is what you used to do. You have to remember we’ve gone girly now and we talk to each other.” He dug his fingers in harder, Elijah’s body rocking under the pressure. “So tell me.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“’Cos I can’t breathe with you doing that,” the tension was going from Elijah’s voice, there was even a hint of amusement.
“All right, better?” Orli slid back over, stretching his legs out on top of the duvet, the cool air tickling at his naked skin. He left a hand just touching Elijah’s back.
“It’s just…” Elijah pulled his knees up to his chest and sat back against the headboard, the newspaper falling to the floor. “I’m not sure if I want to go to university anymore.”
“What? I…” Orli thought for a minute. “But you’ve been planning this for ages. I know you’re bursting to get back to your books.”
“Yeah, but I was thinking,” Elijah looked up, the animation back in his face. “What if I finish my degree with the open university? You know, do it by post. That way I could work while I did it and…”
“It is the money then,” Orli cut in. “I thought you were getting a grant but if that’s not enough I’ll support you. It’s not a problem, I’d love to do it.”
“No, it’s not the money,” Elijah looked away again.
“Then what?” Orli asked bluntly.
Elijah flopped back and gave in. “It’s… I don’t know if I can do it, start somewhere different with all those new people.”
“Don’t you want to go?”
“Right at this minute, no, I don’t want to go,” Elijah said with feeling. “I want to study, I want to finish my degree but I don’t want to go there.”
“It’s not that particular university that bothers you, is it? You don’t want to go anywhere.”
“It’s not the building, I love the smell of places like that, it’s the people,” he looked at Orli with nervous eyes. “How am I supposed to do it? How am I supposed to cope with all those people when I don’t know the rules?”
Orli patted Elijah’s knee reassuringly. “You’ll be fine, you’re so amazing that you can do anything you want.”
“No Orlando, don’t be patronising. It isn’t that simple.”
“Of course it is, you’ll go in there and stun them all. I bet you’ll have them eating out of your hand by the weekend.”
Elijah crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Orli. “You still don’t really get it, do you? At my last university there were about a sixty people on my course. By the time I left, towards the end of the second year, I must have had some sort of sex with at least half of them.” His gaze was fixed on Orli’s face. “And all except two of the staff. If I had to talk to someone more than a couple of times I did them. If I borrowed some girl’s lecture notes it was a quick fingers up there for a wank, if my essay was late it was a fuck. Everyone knew the rates and knew I was a slut but, because I kept smiling and putting out, everyone loved me. Of course I could get them eating out of my hand, but there’s a price.”
Orli felt the little pulse point beat in his forehead as he pinched unconsciously at the flesh on his thigh. He concentrated on breathing in and out slowly as he watched Elijah’s tongue swipe over his bottom lip. “So now you won’t put out,” he said eventually.
“No, I won’t,” Elijah agreed. “But I have no idea what to do instead.”
Orli rubbed his palms against the sheet and pulled his knees up, mirroring Elijah. “Okay,” he blew out a long breath. “It’s not that bad, you’ve had some practice with my friends and you’re doing all right.”
“Orli,” Elijah almost laughed. “Besides you, I talk to Rose, Stuart and your mum and dad and let’s face it none of those are going brilliantly well. Both Rose and Stuart still talk to my cock rather than my face, no matter how much they fancy each other, your dad thinks I’m scum and your mum isn’t far off.”
“My mum likes you!”
“No, your mum tolerates me for your sake. She wouldn’t mind a bit if I just packed up and disappeared. If I can’t get anywhere with that lot after all this time, how am I supposed to take on university?”
Orli scrubbed at his hair, screwing up his face in a frown.
“Perhaps it would be best if I tried the Open University instead, you only have to meet up to take the exams,” Elijah said gently.
“No,” Orli shook his head. “You want this, you need this, and I know you can do it,” he smiled at Elijah. “Even if you don’t know it.”
“But…”
“No, come on, you have to be positive.”
“Positive? How am I meant to do that?”
“Start gently, find a couple of safe nerdy ones to be friends with and stick with them for a bit. Just make sure they’re old and ugly so I don’t have to be jealous.”
“Orli,” Elijah’s voice dropped. “I don’t even attempt to talk to anyone unless you’re there or unless they know I’m with you. I just don’t do it on my own.”
“You do, you must do,” Orli shook his head.
Elijah sat and looked at him. “When? When do I talk to anyone else?”
And Orli slowly realised that Elijah didn’t. He only talked to a handful of people, and only then with Orli’s support. Orli pulled himself up and twisted to move closer into Elijah. He rubbed his thumb over the knobbly bone on Elijah’s knee and looked at him straight. “You might not do it, but you can. I know you can ‘Lijah because you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. You might be scared now but I believe in you and I know you can do it.”
Elijah hung onto Orli’s every word, his eyes trusting.
“You really think so?”
“Of course, you’ve amazed me with what you’ve managed to do already, how strong you are. Now you just have to do it on a bigger stage, that’s all,” he smiled at Elijah, wide and confident. “Take it easy, don’t join any groups or do any extra activities for a while, ease yourself in gently.”
Orli rested both hands on Elijah, holding his gaze. “You don’t have to sleep with someone for them to realise how beautiful you are, inside and out. I’ll be here, I’ll help, but you can do this. I have complete faith in you.”
And for a while Elijah really believed him.
+
“Are you sure this is a short cut?” Elijah asked, trailing behind as Orli strode purposefully up the street.
“Of course I’m sure,” Orli suddenly stopped in the middle of the pavement and looked around him. “We need to go…”
“We’re lost,” Elijah stated. “Go on admit it, we’re lost.”
“No, not lost. Just temporarily unsure of what direction to go in.”
“Lost,” Elijah repeated. “We should have stayed on the bus and got off at the stop right outside the university.”
“Don’t be so negative,” Orli took four steps back the way they’d come. “That’s too easy. What we have to do is apply a little logic. If the bus stop is over there and the hospital is in that direction then… it must be round here some place. The whole area looks familiar.”
“Have you ever been to the uni before?”
“No,” Orli admitted.
“Then why the hell would it look familiar?”
“Don’t know, but it does,” Orli moved off again, striding up a side street. “You should have a bit more faith in me.”
“Orli,” Elijah ran to catch up with him. “Can’t we just retrace our steps, get the bus the rest of the way and then pick up the books I need? I’ll buy you a pint after we’ve been to the library.”
“No I…” Orli stopped dead. “Oh.”
“What?”
Orli stared at the road opposite.
“What?” Elijah repeated.
“Shane’s mum lives down there.”
“Oh,” Elijah agreed.
“Why did she just turn up at our flat like that?”
“I don’t know,” Elijah admitted.
“Only one way to find out,” Orli waited for a gap in the traffic before crossing the road. “Come on.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Elijah called.
“If Eileen can pop in unannounced, we can do the same,” Orli caught Elijah’s hand, dodged round a parked white van and headed for the side street. “Anyway I’d like to see how she is, I’m quite fond of her.”
Elijah trailed after him. Again.
+
Forty-five minutes, two cups of coffee and two slices of home made walnut and vanilla cake later, they emerged back onto the street.
“She hasn’t changed,” Orli said closing the gate. “She’s still as sweet as ever.”
“Yeah,” Elijah mumbled.
“And she seems to approve of you,” he kissed Elijah on the cheek. “You didn’t say much but you got an even bigger slice of cake than I did.”
“Yeah,” Elijah chewed at his bottom lip and stored the thought away.
“Eileen always did have great taste,” Orli turned to Elijah, smiling. “I did wonder what was going on when she just showed up out of the blue; she knew I’d be at work. It nice to know that she only wanted to check you out and make sure I was okay. It’s good not having to worry about anything.”
“Yeah,” Elijah smiled whole-heartedly this time and caught Orli’s hand.
+
Wednesday.
One day left and Elijah was feeling the strain. His last day at work was almost exactly the same as every other day except that his boss turned up. No words of thanks or good luck, the man didn’t even stop talking on his mobile or puffing on his cigarette, but he did push an envelope into Elijah’s hand. No extra goodbye cash but he was paid in full.
He did get one treat though. Half way through their shift Claudette, his ancient, slow moving colleague, produced a flask of coffee and some Jamaican sweet cake from her voluminous bag and they had an impromptu party sat on some city whiz kid’s desk.
The coffee even had a healthy tot of rum in it.
The rum eased his nerves but not for long. By the time he said goodbye his neck muscles were so tight he thought he’d get cramp, his belly was doing somersaults and he had the mother of all headaches.
He wasn’t ready for university.
Only he was ready and that was part of the problem. At nine thirty the day stretched empty ahead of him. He had all the books, all the paper, all the pencils and pens he could possibly need. He’d checked out the route and… he had nothing left to do except get more nervous.
He decided to go shopping; after all you never knew when you’d need paper clips. But first coffee seemed like a good idea.
It turned out not to be. The caffeine bounced off the alcohol and he felt strung out as well as exhausted and it was only twenty past ten. Orli wouldn’t be home till nearly six, then they could go to bed and… Elijah knew lots of ways to work off nervous energy and he didn’t think they’d make it to the actual bed. But he had hours to kill first.
He puffed out a long, loud breath, hitched his bag up on his shoulder and pushed out of the coffee shop.
+
“Elijah darling, your man’s home,” Orli parodied in a high pitched, sing-song voice. “Have you got my dinner on the table?”
“Fuck off wanker,” Elijah laughed, flicking the television off with the remote control as Orli rolled over the back of the sofa to land on him.
“How was your last day?” Orli asked after a long, silky-smooth kiss.
“All right,” Elijah untucked Orli’s shirt at the back, just so he could touch flesh. “Claudette made me cake.”
“That was nice of her, she must like you.” Orli pushed his hips forward, urgent and demanding.
“How can I tell? She never says anything.” Elijah opened his legs and Orli slipped between them, thrusting openly now.
Orli clamped his mouth onto Elijah’s, his tongue seeming to take residence right at the back, as his hands pulled at the zip on Elijah’s jeans.
“Orli,” Elijah managed to come up for air.
Orli thrust faster, grinding his hips down.
“Orlando, I really think that you should…”
Orli had managed to get Elijah’s jeans open and down a little way along with his boxers so that the top of his pubic hair was just showing. He pushed the old t shirt up to expose a white, rounded belly.
Orli looked down. He caught sight of the hair, the belly and that fucking adorable belly button and… couldn’t help himself. His hips seemed to take on a life of their own; lifting and falling and just pounding away and then… and then he got the angle right so that his cock found the hard ridge of Elijah’s and… he submerged himself in the wetness of Elijah’s mouth, the warmth of Elijah’s hands on his back, the glory that was Elijah’s skin and the heat between Elijah’s legs.
He submerged himself and lost himself, coming quick and hard.
He tried to lift his head but didn’t get far as Elijah clung to his back. Orli angled his hips again, trying for the right pace that would make Elijah throw his head back and arch his spine. Almost there, keep it going, feel for the rhythm and… got it!
Strong fingers dug hollows in his shoulders and Elijah shuddered, gasping, his knees tightening almost painfully on Orli’s sides.
Elijah flopped out. “Wow, I’ve heard of a quickie but that must take the record. Hard day at work?”
“Boring day at work,” Orli peeled himself back. “Too much time to think about you naked. Oh man!” he pulled the damp fabric of his still-fastened trousers away from his groin. “Not again, these’ll have to be dry cleaned.”
“I did try to warn you,” Elijah looked at his own mess. Only his boxers, not so bad. “I’m not taking them to the shop again, it happens so often we’re becoming regulars.”
“And it’s costing me a fortune,” Orli sat up.
“You shouldn’t be so desperate,” Elijah perched next to him on the edge of the sofa, both with knees wide apart, both pulling up a tent of their sticky clothes.
Orli looked at him, a happy grin spreading across his face. “You complaining?”
“Nah,” Elijah grinned back.
“Wash, food, rent a dvd to distract you and then an early, eventful night?”
“Race you for the shower,” Elijah was up and gone before he’d finished speaking.
It was so much better when someone knew just how you were feeling.
+
Thursday morning.
The big day had arrived and Elijah thought he might just stay in bed. He would have as well, if Orli hadn’t yanked the duvet off, turned on the main light, put the radio on, full blast, right next to his ear and announced he’d already poured the milk on Elijah’s Coco Pops.
Elijah hated soggy Coco Pops and Orli knew it.
Elijah hauled himself out of bed.
This was nice, Elijah thought. They didn’t eat breakfast together very often. Usually Elijah was already at work before Orli got up and at weekends neither of them managed to wake up before brunch. This was nice.
Shame it had to be spoiled by the thought of what came next.
He washed and dressed slowly, only half aware of Orli’s reassuring chatter in the background.
“Walk you to the bus stop?”
“What?”
“Shall we walk to the bus stop together?” Orli said, patronisingly slowly. “I’ll let you hold my hand.”
“Oh okay, if you like,” Elijah suddenly thought about Orli’s offer. “Don’t you have to get a different bus?”
“Yes, but they go from the same stop,” Orli dropped a quick kiss on Elijah’s lips and picked up his keys. “So?” he stopped by the door waiting.
“What?”
“Jacket? Bag? You know that thing you’ve been packing and checking obsessively for days now. You might just want to bring them.”
“Oh,” Elijah headed back to the living room.
“Jesus fuck, what is that!” Orli snorted, laughing, as Elijah reappeared.
“What?”
“What the hell are you wearing?”
“It’s a coat,” Elijah said defensively.
“Yeah, I can see that,” Orli pulled at it’s collar. It was huge, a dark grey tweedy thing with big black buttons and lots of pockets. Very sensible, for a twenty stone, tall, middle aged business man. “But whose coat?”
“It’s mine. I got it yesterday.”
“You bought it,” Orli said astonished. “You actually paid money for that?”
“What’s wrong with it? It’s just a coat.”
“But it must be at least ten sizes too big. ‘Lijah you could get half the England rugby team in there with you,” Orli lifted the shoulders up and then let them fall. They came to rest half way down Elijah’s arms. “How much did you pay for it?”
“Not a lot. I got it in a charity shop.”
“Didn’t they have anything smaller?”
“I wanted this one.”
Orli suddenly stopped laughing. “Why?” he asked softly.
When Elijah looked at him his eyes were wide and afraid again. “Because I can hide in it. No one will see me if I wear this.”
“Oh you silly little bugger,” Orli whispered into Elijah’s hair as he pulled him close, his arms wrapping tight around Elijah’s back. “I do love you.”
“Tell me again.”
Orli gave him another squeeze and then cupped his head, staring straight into his face. “I love you and you are amazing. You can do this because you’re strong and good and… I’m bloody proud of you. All right?”
Elijah nodded.
“Do you want me to come with you? I can see you to the door, doesn’t matter if I’m a bit late for work.”
“Nah, I can do the bus on my own,” Elijah looked away and then quickly back again. “Only Orlando… can we stay in tonight? Just us, on our own. I’m going to get away as soon as I can, I’ll be back here when you get in, I’m not staying any longer than I have to and…” he dried up.
“We’ll stay in, just us on the sofa, and you can tell me about your day and… I love you. Don’t forget that, okay?” he rubbed at Elijah’s neck again. “Ready?”
Elijah nodded again and Orli opened the front door as he reached to hold Elijah’s hand tightly under the baggy sleeves of his coat.
+
A man or a woman?
Orli couldn’t stop the question going round and round in his mind. It pulled at his senses, digging its claws in until any reason and intelligence Orli might have had was ripped to shreds and dripping with blood.
Was Elijah fucking with some man? A man who’d be younger, smarter, hipper than Orli. Someone who could talk with passion and zeal about all those things that meant so much to Elijah. Or maybe it’d be a girl with high pert breasts and a skirt so short that you could see her knickers as she moved.
Orli scrubbed a hand across his forehead and poured himself another glass of wine before stalking out into the bedroom. What did he want in here? No fucking idea. Maybe it was just to torture himself with the image of Elijah naked, miles of fucking flawless skin stretched out on the white of the sheets. “Bastard,” Orli spat the word at the bed and banged the door as he headed back to the kitchen.
It didn’t matter what the girl’s tits or skirt were like, she had them and soft flesh and pretty little moans. She had things that he could never give Elijah. It didn’t matter if she was an old hag of a professor, she was a woman and Elijah hadn’t had one of those in a long time. No wonder he was off fucking her now.
Orli looked at the clock for the millionth time. It was only four minutes later than when he’d last looked. And Elijah still wasn’t here. Orli’s hand went to the bottle again.
Elijah had said he’d be home by three, he’d be home early and… Elijah had said. But he wasn’t here and it was gone seven. Orli picked up the lasagne he’d made and walked towards the dustbin.
Elijah had said that he wanted to say in tonight, just the two of them curled up together all romantic. Elijah had said he was scared shitless about going to university and that he’d be desperate to get home. Elijah had said.
Elijah said a lot of things but he wasn’t here. Orli suddenly saw Elijah, clear as day, pounding into some faceless girl who had her legs spread wide and her hands in his hair. Orli threw the lasagne at the wall.
Elijah said a lot of things.
The pasta plopped out in one single solid lump and slid down the wall, leaving a greasy smear, as the dish broke clean in two. It landed on the floor a congealing mess with a burnt blackened crust.
Elijah should have been in early, he should have made dinner, but he wasn’t and he hadn’t so Orli had tried to actually make something nice. A celebration called for a bit more than opening a tin, and he’d mixed things and cut things up and… “Bastard,” Orli whispered, grabbing the wine bottle and swigging from it directly. The alcohol burned at his throat, a line dribbling down his chin. He wasn’t anyway near drunk and he wished he was.
He looked at the clock again. Another eight minutes.
She’d be mumbling all those little words of encouragement into his ear now. “Harder,” “More,” “You’re the best.” Women had a way of saying them in a breathy little voice that just sounded ridiculous when it came from a man. But perhaps that’s what Elijah liked. “I love your cock,” “I love you…” Women could say that to anyone, even the first time. Women said things like that all the time, it didn’t matter if they didn’t mean it.
He took another swig. Only half the bottle gone, and a fair bit of that was slopped over the table, but the bile that was flaring up in his stomach was fighting against the alcohol.
Now he could see her hands on Elijah’s back. Short, badly cared for nails with chipped purple nail varnish. Funny he could see her fingers, all knobbly knuckles and too many chunky silver rings, arched up against Elijah but he couldn’t see her face. The back of Elijah’s head was in the way, like he was standing above them looking down, watching Elijah’s hips pound and pound and pound…
Fuck. He turned on the cold tap, letting it run till the water was icy then stuck his head underneath. It didn’t help. He scrubbed the tea towel across his hair and went back to the wine, filling his glass this time. That didn’t help either.
They’d be finished now, she’d be laying back, those fucking pert tits standing proud while she went on about how wonderful he was and how they could do this every day now university had started. Elijah would be lighting up a cigarette; Orli knew it, he just knew it, he’d go back to smoking and come home stinking of the stuff. Even though he’d chew a mint it would be in his clothes, in his hair.
That’s if he came home at all.
“Bastard,” Orli shouted as his wine glass hit the wall just above the mess left by the lasagne. The dark red richness trickled down, pooling on the floor like a puddle of blood.
Would Elijah make the same noises with her as he did with Orli? Would he say the same things to her? Would he touch her in the same soft way and look up smiling?
There was a noise outside; a key in the lock. Orli was out in the hall, pulling at the door before the key had even turned.
Elijah.
He was home.
But where’d he been? Who’d he been with?
“Do you know what the fucking time is?” Orli yelled before Elijah was through the door. “Where you been? Who you been with? Why the fuck didn’t you come home when you said you would?”
“Huh?” Elijah stood just inside the threshold looking bewildered.
“I made fucking dinner but it’s all ruined now. Who were you doing? It didn’t take you long, did it? Who was she, another student or one of the staff?”
“Orli? What the hell…”
“I didn’t think you’d go back to screwing around this quick, first fucking day there and you’re at it. Get your cock out to smooth the way and…” and then the sight before him registered with Orli.
Elijah was standing there, mouth slightly open, either in confusion or ready to argue, Orli didn’t care, his rucksack hanging off one shoulder, his coat screwed up in a ball in his arms.
The coat that this morning he couldn’t leave the house without wearing. The coat that he was going to hide inside, that would protect him from all those new people who’d want a piece of him. And now Orli really believed all the wild thoughts that had been going through his head for hours.
He slammed the door closed, the flat of his hand still pressed hard against it as he pushed Elijah back, their faces inches apart. “Who was she?” Orli held onto his anger by the skin of his teeth.
“Who you talking about?” Elijah tried to push past, but Orli wasn’t moving.
“The girl you took your coat off for.”
“Oh fuck off,” Elijah laughed. “I took my coat off ‘cos I was hot. It’s no big deal. Why are you in such a paddy?” He wriggled round Orli, his bag slipping down his arm, and Orli smelt it.
Yeah, there was smoke in Elijah’s hair.
“You bastard, after I took you in, let you in, let you get close,” Orli grabbed at Elijah pushing him up against the wall. He yanked the coat from Elijah’s hands, rubbing it in Elijah’s face before throwing it on the floor. “This was meant to protect you, cover you up. It didn’t last long.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Elijah rubbed at where the rough coat had grazed his cheek. “Calm down, nothing’s happened.”
Orli’s hand tightened on Elijah’s arm. “I thought you were mine, I actually thought it would be you and me together forever.”
“I am and it will be Orlando,” Elijah reached out and stroked across Orli’s face. “I don’t know what you’re so uptight about but we can work it out.”
“Can we?” Orli thought about other hands on Elijah’s skin; other people writhing and panting under him.
Elijah stroking and licking other skin.
“Course we can, I don’t get what’s going on but we’ll be okay,” Elijah tilted his head up and kissed across Orli’s lips, his hands slipping comfortably around Orli’s waist and under his t shirt.
Orli closed his mind against all the images floating inside his head and looked at Elijah. His Elijah. He crushed his mouth down, sucking Elijah’s tongue in, his hands kneading at the flesh on Elijah’s hips. Elijah was his; they’d be all right.
Elijah pressed his body up against Orli’s; he knew how to calm his man. They’d shag until they had no energy left and then they could talk. Orli had worked himself up into a state about something and he wouldn’t be able to think straight, let alone talk, until he’d calmed down. This was the quickest and easiest way to do it; added bonus it was also fun. He slipped his leg between Orli’s thighs, pushing up. Christ, Orli was hard all right. “We’re just fine.”
Orli felt a wash of relief spread out slowly from where Elijah’s body squashed against his, from where firm fingers drew patterns on his skin. He tilted his head and caught Elijah’s mouth in another kiss, soft at first, but then harder as the echo of his fears still ran around his body. He pulled Elijah tighter, his hands going down to knead Elijah’s arse as his tongue pushed its way home.
He needed Elijah. Needed him like an addict needed their next fix.
Orli tried to hook a leg round Elijah’s while fingers clumsy with desperation pulled at first his own then Elijah’s flies. The button gave, the zip fell almost of its own accord, and Orli’s hands pinched at supple flesh.
“See, told you we’re okay,” Elijah said easing Orli’s jeans off his hips. “You and me, nothing else matters.”
Nothing else matters.
The words replayed themselves over and over in Orli’s mind. Nothing else matters, not as long as he had Elijah. And he did have him, right now, what had happened before wasn’t important, he had Elijah now.
Orli hitched Elijah up against the wall, almost burying him in the coats hanging on the pegs, his feet barely touching the floor, and bit at his neck, not bothering to soothe the spot before adding another and another. Elijah was his, his. No one else could have him, Orli would mark him until the whole world knew.
He crushed his face into the base of Elijah’s neck, his teeth ripping the clothes away to get at flesh, his hands bruising as he held Elijah in place. Elijah was his. His knee came up to pin Elijah as Orli let go with one hand to yank his own boxers awkwardly down. He bit Elijah’s neck again hard and sharp, his chest squashing Elijah painfully back against the zips and buttons of the coats, as he searched frantically in a jacket pocket. Got it, the small tube of lube left there for emergencies.
Orli pulled back; Elijah’s shirt was torn at the collar, his neck and the v of pale flesh that showed in the opening were covered in red teeth marks turning darker as he watched. Elijah’s hair was dishevelled, his eyes wide, his lips wet and swollen, a purple mark growing on his cheek bone just under his eye that looked suspiciously like the shape of Orli’s finger. Orli realised he had done it, he had made Elijah look like that and he couldn’t even remember doing half of it. “I…” He didn’t know what he wanted to say.
“It’s all right,” Elijah reached out to tangle a hand in Orli’s hair. “We’re all right. Now kiss me and let’s finish this.”
Orli hesitated a split second and then did as he was told, kissing more softly as Elijah pulled him in closer by his hair. Orli rested his face just for a moment back in the crook of Elijah’s neck and breathed deeply, his mouth open as he inhaled Elijah’s smell.
Elijah’s smell, his Elijah who was here now, warm and solid in his arms and not going anywhere. His Elijah who smelled as always of washing powder with a hint of Orli and that innate Elijahness and…
There was something else, another smell that wasn’t Elijah and wasn’t Orli and didn’t have anything to do with them. A sweet floral sent that was entirely feminine.
Orli ripped his face away, the anger boiling in his veins, and hardly registered the confusion in Elijah’s eyes.
Elijah smelled of someone else. His Elijah, who maybe wasn’t his anymore.
He wasn’t going to lose this one, he’d make Elijah his.
With no conscious thought, Orli grabbed Elijah’s shoulder, twisted him round, and flung him onto the floor. Elijah landed almost on his hands and knees, a jumbled mix of limbs as he pitched forward.
“Orlando?” Elijah looked over his shoulder. “What is it?”
Orli dropped to his knees, one hand going to the back of Elijah’s neck holding him down, the other ripping Elijah’s trousers and underwear down past the curve of his hips. He didn’t notice the angry red lines as his fingernails scraped soft flesh.
Elijah grunted as his face was pushed down towards the carpet, his body rolled half onto its side, and a leg forced his knees to bend up. Orli tore the top of the lube off with his teeth, squirting a small amount in the vague direction of Elijah. Most of it ended up smeared across his right cheek or on the carpet.
Then there were two fingers in deep and a red flash of pain as Elijah tried to wriggle forward. “Whoa Orli, slow down.”
But Orli couldn’t slow down. He loomed over Elijah pinning him with his body, his face close to Elijah’s hair.
And he smelt it again. That smell that wasn’t his and wasn’t Elijah’s.
“Keep still,” he ordered, thrusting his hips forward through the blind fog of panic in his mind. He had to have Elijah back, make him his.
Orli’s cock met the solid resistance of muscle and he thrust again, only harder, much harder.
Elijah gasped and tried to slide forward. Orli’s hand pushed down harder on the back of his head and the weight of the body on his was crushing. He’d really have to fight or…
He hardly had a chance to murmur a quiet, “Orlando?” and the flash of pain became something altogether stronger and thicker.
Elijah braced his hands against the carpet burn on his face, then consciously and deliberately made his body go limp, relaxing his muscles against the intrusion.
Orli snapped his hips, a short brutal movement, and then again.
It didn’t last long.
Five, maybe six times, Elijah wasn’t counting, and then Orli was deeper still and Elijah felt the warmth flush inside him.
Orli stilled, his backed arched over Elijah, his breathing more ragged than Elijah had ever heard it before, and Elijah waited.
Suddenly Orli pulled out, no finesse or subtlety, just another sharp stab of pain, and he was sitting up on his knees, his head bent forward, his eyes shut.
Elijah didn’t move.
Orli took a steadying breath and looked up. Elijah was half on his side, half on his front, his knees pushed up, the top leg slightly higher than the other. His arms were in front of him, the fingers of one hand digging into the short tufts of the carpet, his head turned away so all Orli could see was a mop of dark hair. There wasn’t much skin showing between the bottom of his shirt tails that had fallen back around his waist and his trousers and boxers that were caught above his knees; a red line showing where they’d cut into his thigh.
Not much skin. Just acres and acres of pale white perfection with…. Orli drew in a sharp breath through his nose, the noise echoing in the silence of the hall, his hand going up to cover his mouth as though to prevent its escape. There was a smear of semen just beginning to trickle down the curve of one cheek.
Elijah slowly turned his head, oh-so-blue eyes stark in the frighteningly white face, and looked up at Orli. Orli scarcely registered the darkening bruise on one cheek or the swollen bloody, bitten lip before he ran for the safety of the bathroom, his jeans still caught round his thighs, his cock hanging out soft and slippery. He slammed the door and locked it before Elijah had a chance to move further.
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